Tuesday, March 07, 2006

What a feeling...

I woke up early today and went all the way to Gombak Land Office. Where is it? Hmm.. it cost me total of RM11.00 just to call people to find my way there. After I got everything done, I went back to my office, done some works and there I go.... have NOTHING to do till 6pm. There is no internet, no games, NOTHING... and I was just sitting there thinking, why am I here for? At about 3 pm, someone called me ... well, a well-known good firm called asking when can I attend an interview. I told them I am already attach to a firm and she was shock and asked how much so fast... and I said, well, it took you weeks to get back to me. haha...
May be I was left with NOTHING to do and that my mind start wander around and thinking of what I want in life. Banking is my last choice to be honest... I never want to do Banking. If you ask my friends, all of them can tell you how much I do not like banking. I can easily pick it up just like that and I just feel that it is nothing to do with "good and professional lawyer". It is just some works that everyone can do. Anyone without any legal knowledge can just pick that up easily. I feel therefore, so discouraged since afternoon...
I went to worship practice and I didn't feel so happy about it. But the worship was great and I manage to submit my petition to the Lord. After the practice, my mom called me and we had rather not a good talk. She encouraged me to continue with my current job and see how God shows me the future later. But I think I was too concern about wanting to know more about the laws and I started to feel that I didn't want to take up Banking litigation only and that caused me failed to came out with an agreement with my mother. I know her intention is good and that she is also worry that I will be jobless again due to all these. I know she cares and she is worry about me. ...
I came back from the worship practice, thinking that the internet will ease my discomfort, but .. my line is down and I was totally in depression. When I finally manage to online, I saw this friend of mine and without hesitation, I told her my problem. Well, I guess she enlighten me by saying that there is no end by entering into Banking litigation now. It is just a stepping stone and I can always do what I want in future. I think she is right. I don't know why I saw all these as some END and not a blessing. Satan has covered by eyes and since when it did that? Well, there and then I remember that one of my friend used to remind ourselves that Satan is the king of liar and it lies without you realise it.
Well, I guess... now, I just have to concentrate on what I should do. Learn as much as I can and move on to other field after that. ...
- down-

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