Unpredictable ...

After practice last night, I continue to do my work for a client. There is no obligation for me to finish the work earlier but I can sense that the client will be delighted if I finished the work earlier. So, i finished working on that piece of work until 3am morning. Hence, I plan to get up a little bit late this morning and go to bank to collect my cheque book and to bank in a cheque. While I was still sleeping, a phone rang... even before my alarm clock.... I recognised it's that particular client's number. His secretary called and wanted to see me this morning. So I made my way there. Spent about an hour and two in his office to go through things with him. Well, he did introduce some business to me, that's important. When I got back from meeting, I rushed a few things and another client dropped by. After that meeting, it's already 3 in the afternoon and I need to rushed to the Bank. While I was on the way to bank, I forgot a very important thing that need to be settle today. That's 2 court cases tomorow. Without choice, I called my partner to settle it for me.

Well, life is so unpredictable. Whatever we planned, it might not turn out to be what we expected. I planned today's schedule so well but it ended up spoiled by one 2 minutes phone call.

A friend seems not being able to accept a fact that her life is going to change due to a decision that another party made. Well, indeed it is not easy to accept a fact, but... we must be brave to face it. I don't really like the way things turned out this morning either. But I was given no choice but to continue with it. Re-plan the whole schedule again, rushed for it, etc. Well, it is not so difficult to go through it, but it is difficult to go through it happily. But if we are not given any choice, why not? Yes?

There will be many similar situation happen in our life, be it a serious or a mild one. But, the concept is the same. To be able to go through it easily, happily, the main ingrediant is GOD. So, ya... I guess.. when we focus on God, we will be fine.

- Let's do it!!! -

Feelings....

I was sitting there after talking to a friend who called me from KL about an hour ago and just ponder over what she told me for about 30 minutes. During that 30 minutes of pondering, my mind wander for what happen in the past 2 days. I received many good news and also equally quantify of bad news for the past 24 hours. Good news includes a friend's wife is pregnant, a friend passed his Certificate in Legal Practice (CLP), a friend is getting married next month, I have many clients to meet and business is still going on and so on. Bad news includes someone's baby boy is in ICU, a friend is asked to act as persecuting officer to persecute a friend, my guitar's bridge broke and need repairs, firm has only enough to cover for next month expenses and so on and so forth.

My emotions is challenged in the sense. I am pretty pre-occupied this week, from morning till late night. With works, meeting clients, reading, researching to attending many other church ministires, i.e. prayer meeting, sunday worship practice, Mooncake Harvest festival worship practice, Mooncake harvest festival Rehearsal and so on. A moment ago I still think I can rest after Sunday service, but I just remember that next week, I will start my cell group meeting. I manage to recruit about 17 people to join my cell group. I need to prepare 20 sets of songsheets and many other things like a good ice-breaker and supper and so on. Before the cell group, I will have a prayer meeting to attend on the first day of the week.

While I was meeting my client yesterday morning, my mother called me (I received 2 missed call in my cell phone when I got back to my office) and asked me to help her with booking tickets to KL because my brother's whole family are suffering from food poisioning.

2 days ago, a client walked in to my office and passed me a file. I was asked to go through that half way through case to see if I can continue with it. Well, by looking at it, it is a normal litigation file. High Court cases with regards to company law, construction law and dafamation. I ran through it one time after prayer meeting, then another time the next morning, and I called them for discussion to find out more. But the client left KK already. So, I called them and they asked me to call the Plaintiffs directly, which I think is fair. I called and the Plaintiffs seems doesn't really want to give more for us to do our works. What I mean more is that, he doesn't even want to pay for the usual deposit that we asked for. I am quite fed-up with his attitudes to be honest. Well, we have words from their previous lawyers months ago when my partner met them in court that this client hardly pay. So, .... I cracked my head for another day. Today, I ran through that documents again and well, basically, there's nothing much I can go through because all the cause papers are with the previous lawyers. So, ... I wasted 2 to 3 days to read through all those things and I just typed a letter to reject them.

With so many things in my mind, I realise one thing... that I am not exactly feeling sad, disappointed, discouraged, not happy nor happy, encouraged, feeling life is complete and etc.

What I am trying to tell you is that... I have a mixual of feelings in me that I myself cannot understand whether it is good or bad. TOO many things is happening to me....

On the contrary... my partner is so free and easy. She just took the pay cheque for this month and disappear for today. I did told her that we need more business. Well ... I guess she will takes about a week or two to really do something about it. hahaha...

My clerk... just to update you... she is sitting there from morning until now... reading ... her photocopied cooking books. ... So, I asked myself, why am I the only one 'worry' about this firm? hmmm.. may be because my partner has other business and my clerk has a husband and I do not have both of that? hai....

- feelings -

Week-end!

Ya...this week in the office is ending. Another 1 and a half hour and I will be packing my stuffs and go back home for 2 days. Ops... Home - KK home lah. Not that I am going back to Tawau even though a very important friend is getting married tomorrow (23.09.2006). Well, I was so busy this morning with auction to attend, issuing letters, post letter, drafting of documents, etc and I just realise, if my partner is not meeting clients outside, she wouldn't have much to do in the office. hahaha... we have divided our works suiting our characters well. She is an 'outsider' and I am more willing but to attend court and auction and back to office type. Well, I hope this will continue and that she will bring more business in so that I can do more works in the office.

Well, nothing much happening here. My saturday will be a relaxing one with NOTHING is on. May be I will try to get something and make some soup tomorrow and that's all. hahaha... so, ya... TGIF!!!!

- week-end-

Business ...

I was sitting and wonder if law firm is what I want to operate. My mind then wander from my childhood until last year and it was cleared that, I never thought of operating a law firm in whole of my life. Therefore, I am sort of distrubed. The feeling get worse when I attended this meeting in church last night where this speaker spoke about using our talent and gifts from God to serve Him. I am sure language is not what am talented with. I always struggles with languages. A friend called me 2 evenings ago and throughout the conversation, I reminded her and myself that I am not a smart person and I always struggles in my studies. So, when the message of using what we are good at to serve the Lord were given, I was stunned for a while and think... what exactly I am good at.

My partner does not seems need to worry about this law firm's profit or loss. That's mainly because she engaged on other investment. As for me, this law firm is the only that I have for the moment. Honestly, I had a thought about my own future and what I want to do in future and this idea of building / setting up a law library / law shop seems making me excited. I am not sure how things can work out, but resources is needed in Sabah. I am aware that Sabah Lawyers has very limited knowledge on the development of law even thought they have been in practice for a long long time. What they do these days are just to do what they used to do for the past 50 years. They have very few improvement in their knowledge of law. Those who came back from England has even forgotten that law in England has changed and I was just feel amazed that they are still survives today even though there is very limited resources here in Sabah.

I wanted a few books and therefore, I asked my partner where can I get those books. Well, the answer I got from her was from Kuala Lumpur. There is no place in Sabah that we can get what we want. I am not sure if this is what we call - luxury. To me, I just thirst for more resources.

I am now in the midst of constructing my mind to come out with something 'sensible'. I shall update you more on this.

- business? -

Illegal !

I was pondering of this word, 'Illegal' for the past few minutes and wonder what is to be constituted as 'illegal'. Many in this country might not be able to understand it fully because we tend to think that 'illegal' and 'legal' has nothing so different. Well, I am not talking about 'illegal' acts like murder or any other criminal acts that will cause us to be in prison. I am quite sure that all of us are afraid of thouse 'illegal' acts. But what I am talking about here is that we soemtimes forgot that 'illegal' acts does includes something that we do almost everyday. What am I talking about? Well, we buy pirated VCD/DVD/CD, we sell pirated VCD/DVD/CD, we downloaded movies online, we cheat, we lie, we breaks the traffic law, speeding, drives recklessly, we cause damaged to others' belonging, we steal (information / thing / money), and so on and so forth.

But what is the difference? I started to realise what's the bible says when it says, when you angry with someone, it is equal to murdering that someone. I guess the Bible teaches us the same thing which is, it has no differences although we thought, murdering and downloading movies online are totally 2 different things. Mind you, both of those are considered as 'illegal'. When it is illegal, it is not pleasing to man and to God.

- illegal v legal -

One of my "aim".

Today is my partner's birthday. So, I went out and look for a birthday cake for her. While I was searching for a 'suitable' (non fresh cream - as we do not have refrigerator but tasty) cake for her, she called me and told me that one of our client asked us for lunch. So, after I bought a cake, I immediately went back to office and got ready for the lunch. It was held in Equatorial Restaurant, Kota Kinabalu which were just open last Monday (soft opening), near our office. What I can tell you is that the food were delicious. I have not been having these kind of food for a very long time. It's just delicious.

After the lunch, my partner told me that our client passed a file to another lawyer. A file with regards to register trade mark. As far as I know, only 2 persons in Sabah are registered trade mark agent and the lawyer who took the case is not one of them. I was then being reminded that I am suppose to sit for an exam next year to be able to get myself registered as a registered Patent, TradeMark and Industrial Design Agents. I therefore printed out all the materials that I have in my computer for the exam and got myself ready to study for it. Meanwhile, I can try to register myself as TradeMark and Industrial Design Agents now since I am a qualified Advocate & Solicitor in Malaysia.

So, I guess this is one of my 'aim' for the time being...

-aim-

Busy schedule...

If you wonder why didn't I put on any blog recently, it is all because I am busy. However, when I sit down and think of what exactly I was busy about for the past few days, the only thing that pop out would be, meeting friends. Well, a group of church members from my previous church in Kuala Lumpur came over for recording. A new album is about the came out and I am happen to be in the committee. So, besides meeting them for one or two occasions, I also need to meet up some other friends of mine whom I have not seen for a few weeks. Was also getting involved with church ministries and hence, at most of my evening, I was in church. This week is rather PACK. However, business wise......... it is quiet!!!

I came to office earlier today and while I was driving, my partner said something about police forces in Malaysia is too corrupted, etc. I guess in a way, she is right. They are, but come to think of it, what would you do if you are in the police forces ? If I am not mistaken, the pay for policeman is low. VERY low. Unlike policeman in Hong Kong, Australia or any other country, where the citizens consider that being policeman considered as having a GOOD job. In Malaysia, I guess only those failed to achieve higher education will be policeman. It is not even be consider as a decent job. It's saddening to know that our country valued things or situation, or people so differently. I was wondering if this is to do with Education, with priority in life, with achievement or character or our intelligent. I am sure we have many intelligent people in this country, but I am just not sure why are we cannot cross the border of 'better' in achiving more.

Whose failure is that?

- achievment -

"Aimless"?

I was so tired last night after a few evening of reading up and meeting friends. I even left my office earlier just to take a rest. After I cooked and eaten, my eyes start closing ... and so, I went to bed. I woke up in the middle of nights a couple of days and I just didn't had a good rest. This moring, I made myself a cup of coffee and sat down and wonder: "Why am I here for? How much more longer should I be doing all these? Forever?" If you know me, you know well that I can't sit down, commit to something FOREVER. I will start the 'project' and finish it and start another 'project' and finish it. So, I wonder now, when is the end of this 'project' that I have just started a few months ago.

If you ask me what is that I am aiming for in this 'project', I really do not know. But for now until June next year, I do wish I can go for at least one mission trip. Never in my life, I planned things further than 6 months. I always plan things that's in front of me and finished it ON TIME. But this morning, I really ponder about what's my 'aim' now...

Soon, I will have to lead a group of people in church and started to involve more in ministries. But, I do need to know where am I heading to and what's my 'aim'. A group of young people in church starated to 'acknowledge' me and they even requested me to lead them. I guess I am easily get involved with them because I am in the worship team. Well, but... what's my aim? What's my calling? What should I do? Can anyone tell me?

- aimless? -

"Moodless"

Well, I am suffering this "moodless" motion for a few days now. People get confused of the meaning of "moodless" as some intepreted it as "No Mood" and some, "Moody" and some, didn't even know what it means. To me, it means I can not possibly feel any feeling or 'mood', that's what I call "Moodless". I am not sure what's the cause of it, but these few days, I just feel that I should just hide myself in office and home. I didn't have good moment these few days. I can't say I am not feeling happy because there is NOTHING wrong in my life at the moment and I can't say I am happy because it's simply NOTHING is going on very well in my life. A friend used to say "Life is predictable" everytime we asked him, "How's life". I didn't understand before but I do understand now of what that phrase means.

For the past 20 over years, my life was 'unpredictable'. Some people said we can control our lives, the way we lives, etc. But as for me, anything that usually won't happen in you, do has the possibility happening in my life. i.e. Sprained my back before I enter into an Exam hall for the toughest paper; Exam postponed because the premise suspected to have bomb; Shipped 2 cartoons of Cargos back to Malaysia and it never reached, etc. etc. I always struggles with life until I learned that, I can not possibly control my life no matter how hard I tried. So, from then on, those who knows me will recalled that I always says "My life is not in my hand". Honestly, there is nothing I can say besides recognising the existence and greatness of God once again.

"Moodless" : Since the day I left Kuala Lumpur and back to Sabah, life are 'unpredictable' as well as "predictable". I cannot foresee what kind of business is coming in, what sort of people I need to dealt with, how much I can earn each month, etc. etc. but I can expect to be able to sit in the office for hours without anything to do and also to plan what I want to do in the evening. So, if you ask me if I am doing fine, I will tell you I am but life is too predictable and I am losing the passion to face challenges. I need challenges and unpredictable life. But when it comes, will it bring me 'enjoyment'?

- moodless -

Unexpected Trip!

It was last month that I had decided to pay my parents a visit during our National Day holiday. After I purchased ticket only then I found out that my father and my brother are suppose to be in KK for a meeting. In a way, it is good also if I go back to home as my mom will be alone at home for a few days. So, I planned to go back and to relax.

Just an evening before I left, my brother assigned an assignment for me... to check out a good and reliable car for my parents. So, I took that assignment back home and for 2 days, I was checking cars and prices. Discussing with my mom without my dad and brother's presence. Besides sorting out that, I also had my own assignment, that is to meet up with my uncle with regards to my medical insurance. I got all that done on one trip. In addition to that, I was informed that I was back in a good timing because one of a distant relative / schoolmate / church friend is getting married on that particular Saturday. I was then so buy with all the functions. It's a wonderful gathering but it's tiring. After my dad came back from Kota Kinabalu on Saturday, we went to test drive a car and it's wonderful. I am still in th midst of deciding which car to get. I am still doing my proposal to my brother and let him do the final decision.

I did consulted one of my uncle and I guess what he adviced is good.. that the car is not for us, but for our parents. So, yes... I am leaving it to the Lord now.. hahaha...!!!

Really... this trip is really FUN!!!