end of 2009

If you ask me what happen in 2009, I will have to tell you, I can't remember most of it. Did I go back for Chinese New Year? What happen on my birthday? How many cases I win? How much money I earn? Has my leg fully recovered? How's holiday? Did I even have a holiday? All I knows is that, I thank God for His faithfullness... I have earned another year with blessing ang grace. Whatever happen, it has become history and for the coming 2010, I just wish to be better, in my work, in my spiritual journey, in my relationship with God, family and friends and also in sports/exercise.

Yes, if you ask me about resolution for 2010? I must frankly tell you, I never have one all these years. hahahahaha... and yes, that's explained why I always feel like a loser.. hahaha..

- end of 2009 -

Death!

Death is a taboo to many and no one would even want to mention about it, if we are given a choice to. However, we have to face it be it you like it or not. Some people are afraid of death more than some others. I see death as a 'new beginning' as it will be a beginning of a wonderful time with the Lord forever and ever. Not only for 80 to 90 years, but ever and ever.... it's eternal. Oh well...

I happen to received a few news of the demise of a very good friend and my boss' father just before Christmas and it somehow continues.... yup, people are dying. A close friend of mine, KP was dignosed with cancer few weeks before he got married and the news has turned a happy wedding to a meaningful wedding and we all had fun and enjoyed ourselves on their wedding day. I flew all the way to their wedding (with sponsor by SW, a good friend of theirs too) and took some nice pictures for them. For the past more than a year journey, we have been praying hard for KP and we sometimes received good news and sometimes received not so good news from them about KP's sickness. We met a few times after the wedding (we just have to meet on the 3rd day of Chinese New Year every year at Marco Polo Hotel, Tawau) and they went to Europe tour, manage to see the snows and many beautiful places God created. They have spent time together in sickness and in health, in riches and in poor. I must say, God blessed them well. With some sorts of preparation, be it KP himself, his wife, his family members, KP passed away on 22nd December 2009 evening.

When my flight touched down Tawau, I switched on my phone and I realised, there's 1 text message received and the text was from my colleague telling me my boss, KT's dad passed away on 22nd December 2009 night as well. He was having a bit of flu, went to bed and never get up. He just passed away without any 'preparation' at all. Even though he's at old age, but he's healthy and no one somehow is prepare of a sudden demise of him.

On Christmas day, I met an aunty whom I know since birth. I went to her and greeted her and compare to a few years ago, she looks weaker and more fragile, but strong in her voice. As I was chatting with her, my mother came along and they chatting and the conversation were as below:

My mother : Hey, how are you doing?

Aunty : Praise the Lord everyday when I open my eyes and see something familiar arounds me.

My mother : Oh, same here.

Aunty: Everyday I woke up and realise that, I will thank the Lord that I earn another day of life.

My mother : Yes. me too.

I ponder over all these 3 incidences that afternoon. Speaking of death. Are we ready to face it? Are we not suppose to get ready every single day? Do we need to wait somemore to do something we should? It's not an automatic rights that we can get up every morning. It is also not an automatic rights that we shall lives. We can plan a lot of things, but we can never plan when we want to die. If that is the case, why not, we make it a point to decide now of our future plan? Many insurance company are selling 'future plan' to their customer. I can tell you, as far as a financial planning is concern, you can't run away from part of their plan which calls, estate planning. Why is that so? Can we really plan for our future? Some may leaves behind a few millions dollars, some a few hundreds, but what's the different? They will be finished very easily. A good investor will know, you need to invest in your FUTURE - the eternal life, the life after death.

So, are you investing it still in this life or in your eternal life? Investing on this coming 80 years or FOREVER? I let you decide. But, choose wisely!

- Death! -

I'll be home for Christmas!

I remember those years where I was to stay where I was and celebrate Christmas all by myself with friends I met then. Oh well, I must tell you, I really thank those who celebrated Christmas with me then... we organised lots of parties didn't we? hahaha... and yes, I didn't feel a bit of lonliness then and Christmas, even I have to go through it alone, it's ok because I still enjoy going to church and celebrate Christmas with Lord Jesus.

I think I missed going home for Christmas for about 9 years, if not 10 years. Ya... and so, after I came back to Sabah, as I am nearer to home, I will try to go back home for Christmas! I wasn't home for Christmas last year and this year, I just think it's better for me to go home for Christmas (after hearing the disappointment tones from my dad when I told him I might not be home for Christmas this year).

So ya... it won't be as great as I celebrate Christmas with friends... but I guess, I NEED to be at home for Christmas!!!!! So, I am going back tomorrow afternoon.... for Christmas!!!!!

- I'll be home for Christmas! -

Christmas gift!

A cousin of mine who lives in Australia sent me a link this morning. It's about a news about Malaysia that he wants me to read about but as I finished my work and after reading the news, I click on the link which says: "Do not know which gift to choose?" and so, the link suggested a series of "easy to extravagant Xmas gifts". I was so shock to find out a few items, like, the world's most expensive wine, Lafitte 1787 for the price of approximately USD178,000.00; the luxury yacht to West Meditteranean with the cost of RRP$80.4m; Wembley Stadium valued at $1.5 billion, and others. Oh well, some people are very particular with what they receive as gift. Some thought that the more expensive the gift is, it showns more love and sincere the person is. Oh well...

As we were preparing for Caroling 2 weeks ago. I was scheduled to do one or two of the sharing and so, I was sitting down in the church that sunday morning, hoping to get some inspiration (as suggested by a dear friend of mine) and I was listening and looking around, the christmas tree placed at the sanctuary of my church caught my eye and as I looked, I saw only 1 present was there (they have more now). I thought to myself at first, why is there only 1 present? And later, I thought to myself, obviously, the world wide celebration and/or tradition of giving gifts during Christmas all started because we recognised that Jesus is a gift to us by our God and so, one present is good enough.

Right after that moment, I thought of something to share with the host we are going to visit that particular evening. A story of Christmas GIFT!

Oh well, just for those who have not heard of the story of Christmas GIFT, I just wanna take 1 minute to read this (I copy and paste some of it ya.. ) : -

My nephew and nieces always love to receive gifts from me. To a point, a friend even asked if they still love me if I stop giving them gifts. I remember last year during chinese new year, I bought them so gifts. My nephew loves LEGO. He was so excited with the LEGO I gave him because it's happen that it's the same series of LEGO his father has bought him. He ran to me a few times, holding his LEGO in his hand and asked me if this is HIS. I assured him that both these 2 are HIS and he ran around telling everybody in the house, his father, his mother, his sister, his grandfather, his grandmother that, the 2 LEGO are his.

Together with a friend, we decided to give our friend her christmas gift earlier because we think she desperately needed the gift. To us, it's not something so special, it's just something she needs but she screams when she found out that her name is engraved in the gift and she keeps telling us that "It has my name in it... it has my name in it...".

Be it a kid or an adult, I guess we will be overjoy especially when we receive something that is SPECIALLY meant for us.

In Luke 2: 11, the Lord has present the GIFT to us and He has told us who it is for. The angel who annouced Jesus' birth said, "Today a Savior has been born to you." I want to ask you to take that "you" very, very personally. Jesus was born for you, to die for you, for every wrong thing you have ever done. That's why He can rescue you from the eternal death penalty you deserve - that we all deserve - for hijacking our life from God. Behind His Christmas cradle stands the shadow of that Good Friday cross where He loved you enough to die for you.

ALL THESE... is just FOR US, SPECIALLY FOR US! May you find the one special gift that's personalised just for you this Christmas!

- Christmas Gift! -

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all....!!!! Just like the picture above.... it's time for us to 'decorate' ourselves up for the coming Christmas! Well, just in case I didn't manage to post anything up when Christmas is here... Merry Christmas to you!!!!! May God continue to bless you in the coming year!

Mood for Christmas!

Christmas always associates with fun, smiles, happiness and gift giving, etc. etc. Ever since I was young, as I was raised by christian parents and was staying in the church compound, I do know, Christmas is all about Jesus. His coming.. to be exact and it's time for us to be reminded of being happy and celebrate as this is the only reason we can be happy about.

Ever since I was young, I was always assigned to take part in drama, singing and any other programmes which the church and/or the inter-church has organised. Oh well, ... when I grew older, I was even given task to organise christmas event.... and so, it has been like this all these years until I came to Kota Kinabalu. hehehe... a place where no one knows me... (love it!) ... and of course also because I always try to escape by going back to Tawau for Christmas! hehe...

Ever since I came back from England, mood about Christmas changed. Somehow... I am still finding for the cause of all these seriously... most probably too many things happen during Christmas season over the years that I finally cannot take it anymore. Hence, I have never have a good Christmas ever since I am back from England. I don't even know what sorts of christmas I wish to have. To be alone? To be with friends? To be with parents? Away from KK? Awasy from Malaysia? Away from home? Feast or not? BBQ? Roast Turkey? Roast Lamb? What exactly will make me have a good and joyous Christmas? The worse part is.... this unhappy feelings will last until new year is over...

So... ya... even though I am going home this Christmas and I can't wait to go home, but to think of it... it will be another lonely and sad christmas. No, not that it's meaningless... just lonely and sad one... I hope!

Hmm...

- mood for Christmas! -

Spirit of rejection?

It was a conversation I had with a friend few weeks back that somehow, I told her that I have the sense of rejection lately... from everybody, everyone, anyone.... whom I know and whom I did not know, someone whom I sees as important and also those who are not important. I seriously do not mind not being known. But... somehow, people remembers me... not because of who I am, but of how good I can be 'used'. Well... as I mention earlier, I don't really mind being used because most of the time, I am WILLING to be used. But the 'after-feeling' that really haunt me terribly... because besides and after I was being 'used'... to fulfil whatever they wish and/or intended to 'use' me for, they just dump me aside.... let me be alone and do not even bother what I like, what I want, etc. etc. Well... I guess I am just feeling lonely huh?

Well, seriously.... I thought it is too... but I guess it is MORE than loneliness... I think my past has somehow haunted me... and yes, just when I thought I found some exceptions to it, those people just failed me... and hence, again, I am back... and the spirit of rejection is again back.... !

Hai... well, what can I say? I am just who I am... and I am as 'useful' as before, that's all. So? Who didn't want to use me if they can and dump me when they are ready to huh?

- spirit of rejection? -

The Blessed one!

Ever since I was young, I have the impression that I am the "pity" one.... well, let me tell you why. It's all because everybody besides me are better than me.. in terms of wealth, in terms of wisdom, in terms of talents, in terms of beauty, just EVERYTHING! My life has not been have any 'improvement' all these years though and hence, I always tell myself to accept the fact. That my life will not be any better anyway and I should just feel contented with my life. Well, don't get me wrong. I do... and I have always did. When thoughts otherwise came, somehow, God reminded me again and again....

Yes. I do not have the wealth in the earth as much as many arounds me have... but I am still better then the one who almost being adjudicate bankrupt this morning in court (I am sure there's at least 200 of them, in Malaysia alone...).

Yes. I do not have the wisdom many has. I never own an A in ALL my exams... but I am an advocate and solicitor today.

Yes. I do not have the many talents others has, but I do have some talents which no one has too.

Yes. I do not have a rich dad in monetary terms, but I do have one who is rich spiritually.

Yes. I do not have the love of my life YET, but I do have a wonderful family. There's no divorces, bad family members in my family. No one can imagine how close we are to each other... not only within our family, but we are close among our relatives.

Oh well... what else can I say if I didn't declare that I am the blessed one? hehehe...

- the Blessed one! -

Diocesan Youth Camp!

I was being asked to help with the recreation session at the Diocesan Youth Camp this afternoon. It was suppose to be only from 2pm to 4pm, but I was being asked to go at 8am to help them to take their group photo. Hence, I woke up earlier than my normal working day and went out and reached there by 7:45am this morning. After the photo session, I helped with the BLOWING balloons sessions, which was the preparation for the recreation session. Ghoosh...!!! We need about 500 balloons............. and it took us at least 4 hours to get all of them blown. hahahaha....

Well, while I was sitting with the youth before our lunch being served, ... I was talking with a few others about our youth camp years ago. Obviously, we thought we have more fun then then now... and .... while I was sitting with my cousin and his wife after lunch, someone came and said, "I think these 3 have joined the youth camp longer". hahaha... ya... well, since our youth time until now, huh? hehehe...

Somehow, I realise, not everyone has the privilege to join the Diocesan Youth Camp... I did..... and because of the Youth camp, I was here in KK for the first time... and throughout the years, I have known many friends whom I still keep contact with. Cool huh? hehe... hence, I can't quite get it why young people doesn't want to join the youth camp though... what can we lost for joining the camp? hmm...

- Diocesan Youth Camp! -

Wrong understanding...

I was telling a friend that I went to court this morning and the 1st and only respond he gave me was that I must be still feeling angry then. I ponder for about 5 seconds on what he commented and I asked him why did he thought I will be angry. His answer is simple. Because I went to the Court. Many have the understanding that Court room is a place where heated arguments will be at and many thoughts, we, the lawyers, only argue our case to the end, regardless on which stage the case is. Many have also thought that we lawyers, when we go to court, we will fight and argue and got ourselves and other party angry. I am not sure if that's what you understand law and the law profession is. If you do, let me explain to you a little bit of the MALAYSIA LEGAL SYSTEM and how it works in the court.

When we got a case in our hand, our first few court matters will be mention and/or hearing. Well, as simple as the word, it just means as it is.... mention, meaning, to mention the case to the court. Tell the Judge what this case about and whether this case shall proceed, etc. Hearing is a day fixed by the court to hear either one's application to see if your application should be allowed or not. The Judge will hear from both the parties of what they want to say. Trial, would be just like what the bible defined as, a TEST. What to test? To test which side is telling the truth and which one is not and which one can show evidence to support their 'story', etc. Well, that's what we do as a lawyer, to attend a few court sessions for respectives application, etc. etc. No. Not at all time we will have heated argument. Even in trial, sometimes, both parties' lawyers will be at peace, trying to sort out things and do their best to bring up their matters, evidence, witness, etc. We, the lawyers are thought to practice and exercise our duty and/or professions etiquettely, althought, we all know, there are some that's not.

Well, I was searching for a precedent on cost these few days. I was digging out all my old stuffs and realised, some of them, I have shipped it back to Tawau and hence, I have to ask around. I happen to met a senior lawyer this moring and so, I asked him if he has a copy. Trust me, I asked about 5 of them yesterday and 4 of them told me they have not done it for the past 15 years and not very sure about it. 1 told me what I should do, but have also not done it before. And this senior lawyer, apparently has a copy of the precedent ... in Bahasa Malaysia (BM) as it is a precedent from Kuala Lumpur while he was practising there. I tell you, I am so pleased to find out that he has a copy. hahaha... it's like a serious problem being solved.

See, we lawyers, do sharing too. We can't know EVERYTHING, of course, some will know more than the other and some know more on the particular area of laws then the rest of the area of laws. It's normal and we share. In courts, while waiting for the Court to start, we too, will ask around, chat around and searching for opinion about certain issues we encounter.

I was in court for the case which was being struck out few months ago. I thought it's a mistake which I shouldn't have made and I felt so bad about it. Still, I have to face the judge and all the other lawyers that particular day as when my case was called, I was asked to tell the court what happen, etc. and the other lawyers, none of them find it funny and disgraded me. Neither me nor my opponent knows what went wrong and what should be done but you can see, everyone is helping (No. I still haven't got the case reinstated YET). I made a mistake in my cause paper and I didn't know I made a mistake until the Judge told me. The rest of my fellow lawyers have somehow helped me out throughout (pretty obvious that's my first and only mistake). When we finish the court for the day, some of them even came and encouraged me.

Well, I hope, by now, you will know what "go to court" means exactly. No. It's not always about heated argument even though we can't avoid those sometimes (mostly the clients we have caused it).

- wrong understanding -