Called to the Bar!

Oh well, I actually check through my previous posts for the past few years to see if I have actually written anything on today ever... I posted "Happy anniversary" to myself on Facebook and many asked me what sorts of anniversary am I celebrating. Well, ... I was called to the Bar in Malaya (first Bar) on 30th day of September. Together with me, was a friend whom we still keep in touch and share our expriences together. I sent her a text this morning as in previous years, she was the one who always reminds me of today by wishing me. Well, this year, with new environment arounds her, I have a sense that she doesn't even want to mention to-day.

I guess, without knowing what happen, we have gone through a few years of law practises without the sense of satisfaction at all. We lost the passions somewhere, sometime, somehow... and the system is killing us. Me in particular, when I read through what I wrote in 2008 and 2007, ghoosh................. I can't believe nothing improves since then... is this profession really that bad?

I am glad, today also marks the last day where lawyers in Sabah can give discounts to their client because starting tomorrow, we do not have to fight against the big law firms in town for clients. Fees will be the same anywhere within Sabah and as a small firm, you get the solicitor's attention and not the legal clerks'. So, I hope things will be better after today.

My dear friend has texted me and said it's anniversary but she is not feeling any bit of happiness in herself. I share the same feeling... just that, I am TRYING HARD to make myself a bit happier today. Starbucks after my class later is my own promise to myself later...

Oh well, the different between this year and last years is that, I am doing some part time teaching this year. I am enjoying it, even though i can see, all my students are NOT enjoying it. Either they hates me for making them read and understand or they really hates the law subjects now. Oh well......... it's not very difficult to understand how blur they can get as a first year law students though as I was completely blur during my 1st semester...

Well, it's a day to remember seriously as ... it's the first time, my parents went with me to court and it will be the last too...

- Called to the Bar! -

Weekend away...

Ya, I took the last weekend away from the usual routine and works and hoping that I will get a bit of 'recharge' from a weekend away even though I will have to spend lots of time at the airport and flying. Thank to my dear brother who sent me some airasia vouchers (got it due to delay) and hence, I joined some of my friends t Fraser Hills at Pahang. It's a 2 hours drive from Kuala Lumpur. It's a nice trip seriously. I thought I was at this little town in England but of course, besides the scenary and a bit of cooling air, nothing else looks like England. hahaha...

I must say, a get away trip like this is far more better than spending 2 days at places around KK. At least, I met different people, talked different topics, did a bit of update, unwind from dissatisfaction, anger and depressing moments with friends whom doesn't know whom or what I was talking about. hahaha... , you know... all that sorts and seriously, it helps, at least a bit more than what I can do by myself here.

Well, I am sorry to those whom was not informed that I will be in KL and Fraser Hills over the weekend though... yes, I didn't call or meet up with those whom I usually meet up and I know this is bad.. but well...............

Coming back to work today make me down first when I saw a pay cheque on my table but it's stated as "interim commission".... oh well................. to come to think about it, it is interim anyway... so, what's the big deal? I will still bank in the cheque anyway........ Will definately talk about it with boss when I got the chance to. Again, he is outstation until Thursday. Speaking about calculative, I can be the one who is the least calculative person in the world, but that doesn't make anyone can bully me on this........

- weekend away -

Law?

I had my second teaching class today and instead of a full tutorial class, I ended up have to do a bit of "re-cap" with my students as I was informed by the Dean that some of the students were completely blank after my 1st lesson 2 days ago. Why am I not feeling shock? Well, I guess it's because I was a blank and as blur as they are when I was in my first year. I have 10 coursemates and 10 of them, were children of some lawyers and it's my first encounter to not only children of lawyers, but also people who doesn't speak a word of chinese. All the discussion and teaching and all were conducted in English and no one ever explain to me what are the legal terms means. Worse still, I finished my STPM then and the other 10 took A Level and all of them has knowledge about law except me. Being a minority in the class, my lecturers choose to ignore my present all together. I beg your pardon, not only the lecturers, but also all my fellow coursemates.

I recall that they started to changed their perception over me, the chinese girl only when I scolded higher then any of them in my assignments. They started to ask me question, trying to includes me in their lunch appointment, etc. etc. However, I disregarded them because of the way they treated me earlier on.

My class this afternoon, consists of students from business class and also diploma in law. It's quite hard for me to 'communicate' with those from the business class as they were like me before, they went totally blank ... while, the extreme is, the law students found me a bit too slow in my teaching. It's so hard for me to find the balance point. I am still thinking what's the best way to help the business class students to be able to understand the 'langauge' - legal terms easier. There's no other way then to read and look into dictionary and keep writing.... , I think.

I really don't know what I should do! Hmm...

- Law? -

Overspent!

As much as I wanted to be debts free, I feel depressed over things and people over the past few months and hence, I realised, spending is a theraphy somehow to 'fill-in' the gap of 'emptiness'. Ah ha... and so, due to that, I keep spending ... for things which I wanted so much to things that I can lives without, i.e. horse riding, etc.

Yes, I am feeling much better after some crazy shopping, some doctors visit and making a bit hole in my pocket... however, instead of the previous 'pain', now I am suffering from the 'financial pain'. hahahaha... I think I really digged the hole so deep until a point i started to worry about myself now. Well, but to think of if, this is something to give thanks to because at least, i feel worry abotu it... and not sitting on the issue and let myself just go bankrupt. hahaha...

Ya, I think instead of usual spending, I literally overpsent. hahaha....

- overspent! -

Plan?

This is a joke... as much as I wanna get out from this place, as much as I can't go anywhere. I wanted to leave this place 2 weeks ago and on the same day, I received 2 sealed Summons In Chambers that I need to attend Courts on the 1st September. I am somehow stucked by a 10 minutes court cases this morning and I am stuck here for the whole long weekend. How great!

As much as I wanted a holiday, I am so much needed here for the event! Where everybody is relaxing and taking their own sweet time peacefully, I am left alone dealing with all these people who even called me on public holiday. Don't they have a life and respect towards a soul?

And now, I am still stuck and after the event, my part time will set in and that's it! Plan? I am not sure if this whole thing is destroying me or what... but I can tell you, I have finally collapsed. hahahaha...

What to plan? What to do? NOTHING that i wanna do can be done any way... !!!!!! YOO HOO!!!!!

- Plan? -