Welcome 2009?

As I was standing there witnessing the fireworks being released, the beauty of it has brought me back to the year 2000 where about 5 of us were standing on top of a building situated on a hill witnessing the fireworks just at our eye level. I was sick after that, but the moment... where hand shakes, hugs and so on ... just won't leave me until now. My heart, my soul, my mind are still remain there and then I suppose... perhaps, I am still in denial of the fact that I have left those people behind me, I have left the time, I have also left the warmness and so on ... After so many years, ... somehow, tonight I felt a bit lonely... guess because I missed certain people, certain place and certain moment...

Yah... guess I am still in denial .... even after so long... !

-welcome 2009-

Last day of 2008!

It's the last day of 2008 and I was thinking this morning if today is going to be GOOD! Well, I came into office and realise I have many loose papers on my table and I went through one by one of it and realise, besides loose papers, no one actually make payment to me so far. Furthermore, I saw a copy of the Order and Judgment put on my table. It's the case I lose in November and I have to call my client to ask them to pay the other party. It's something I do not want to face really... well, I called my client and almost immediately, he came with cheque book and he issued cheques and we chatting for a while and I must say, he is such an an encouragment somehow and instead of scolding me, he made the payment and he also shared a bit with me about life, about some nasty people in the world and how we should deal with it and so on. And he left by wishing me have a happy new year! I ended today by sharing a bit of gospel with a client. Can you believe that? hahaha.... Well... boss came in around 2pm and told me office is closing at 3pm today. How nice.

Well, ... Happy new year everyone!!!!

Life!

After a week of holiday, I must say, I am 70% charged for the months ahead even though, I am looking forward to go home for Chinese New Year next month. Well, I had a rather 'usual' Christmas AGAIN this year. It just gone past...with no suprises and/or suprising joy. haha... I asked and told myself again this year that, Christmas is all about the birth of Christ and nothing else. Hence, my joy shall be that and that alone. Well, ... I guess I have gone through too many 'wonderful' and 'suprising' Christmas until I found it rather "usual" for the past 8 years. Ghoosh... why is that so? Anyway... I consider myself had a good Christmas this year though, at least, I had Turkey and friends around. hehe... so, yes... theGodlyLawyer, stop complaining!!!

Well, I went back to office on 26th to collect a file for court hearing on 30th and so, I was also looking through some other files to see if anything need my urgent attention. Yes, yes, yes... this lawyer whom I asked him to service a document for me did his job last minute INCORRECTLY... and the next hearing date is on 7th January. I quickly called him and tried to sort things out. Now, if he has failed to perform accordingly again, goodness, I am going to sue him for sure. So, yes, what a good news after a good Christmas!

Life continues... with another news received at about 11:30pm on 26.12.2008, that a close friend, someone whom I knew since she was a baby, played with her throughout her childhood, lead her in Girls' Brigade, etc... passed away at 1:30am on 27.12.2008 at Sydney, Australia time.

Life goes on... I believe... and when I thought of the difficult future of mine ... and I can only think of the phrase "life goes on!" which was always spoken to me by a dear sister in Christ from Zimbabwe, Marlene Chitonga, with a pat on my shoulder. Yes... suddenly, I do miss her...

Life goes on huh? ... ya...

- life! -

Merry Christmas!

I know it is too early to greet everyone Merry Christmas ... nevertheless... I guess today is the best time to greet everyone though...

May you all have a blessed and merry Christmas!!!!

- merry christmas -

Dealing...

I was bad dealing with things when it turns bad... guess it's all because of my harsh words... or wait.. may be because I never know how to put a right words on. I have failed once again to put my thought across... from an alleged misunderstanding caused by someone, it has now turned to words that I said... well, I have no explaination on this. I do not want to blame the past, I do not want to make it sounds like I am right... I am infact, wrong... in the beginning. Due to heavy work loads, with operation, with caroling preparation and so on .... I really wished for a long weekend. I was there and ... it blew away already... ! The happiest thing.. of course was that I finally can drive and I have got my freedom.... !!!! None... of course none... what do I expect here.. hahaha.. none will be able to understand how much works I have in hand that keeps my mind not stopping in deriving for a right ways in submission, the filing cause papers, etc... due to the operation I had... goodness... shall I say I regret doing it? No... someone once told me, when I have decided, go for it and never regret it's result, be it a bad result... if it is, swallow it down your throat. Hmm... well, I guess that same goes to the words I spoken and the words other spoken. Everyone said they are hurts by my words... but none... remember what words and actions they put acrossed that hurts me. Well, who cares about Lin Pei San's feeling anyway, right? hahaha... I know CL agree with this...hahahaha....

I always failed to tell others how much damage they caused me before they tells me how much MY words hurts them... I wonder if this is a lesson to learn.... being able to swallow each and every words people hurts me seems like a norm to me now... after I grew up like that... Hai... may be the next time a person hurts me, I will tell them immediately that they hurts my feeling. How's that?

Something to learn.. always!!!! Another weekend to come... and I seriously am thinking of going back home... this feeling of wanting to go home is there for a week plus already... I asked myself if anyone has bullied me recently.... I guess the answer is yes after all!!!

- dealing -

What do you expect this Christmas?

As I was listening to the sermon yesterday morning in church, my mind somehow wander to the the many years of christmas I celebrated. There were christmas I spent in Tawau, with my family, with relatives, with friends, with lots of events, celebration and there are too christmas I spent alone in Kuala Lumpur, there are christmas I spend in England, be it alone, with relatives and/or friends, there are happy christmas, sad one, angry one, frustrated one.... and I wonder therefore, what do I expect on this coming Christmas!

For the previous years, I have spend a few away from home and this year, I somehow decided to spend Christmas in Kota Kinabalu. For the past 2 years, I left Kota Kinabalu for Tawau on either 22nd or 23rd of December and this year, I am only coming back to Kota Kinabalu on 23rd.

Seriously, when the question of "what is my most memorable" christmas posted to me about a month ago, I seriously couldn't recall one very significant event.... Could that be the Christmas I spent in England? Which year? Could that be those I took about 6 months to organised? Could that be those I spent when I was much younger where I was asked to act as Mary and sing in the Choir? I have... spent Christmas for many years, at least 25 years if not 30 years.... and I couldn't somehow recalled a Christmas where I was completely filled with joy.

The reason could be because I know we were celebrating the birth of Jesus and somehow, Christmas related closely and deeply with Easter... where Jesus died for me in the cross... and hmm..... so? are we suppose to be happy?

I wish I can be happy to celebrate the 'festive occassions' with gifts, wishes and greetings... but, more so, I wish I have room for Jesus at this coming Christmas!

A friend commented that there's always terrible disasters at year end... and Christmas is at year end........ there are many out there in the world, do not even know what Christmas is... and they too, do not experience happiness or joy on Christmas! I hope therefore, that this Christmas, my gift to them would be to pray for them...

By the way... I really wish, I can have a joyful christmas this year (for a change) !

- what do you expect this Christmas? -