Expertise

I sometimes get questions from others like, "what you are doing is simple, why do you need to charge so much?"  or "Why lawyer always charge so much?" or "It is standard right?" or "All you need is just to copy and paste". 

I got a pupil a few years ago.  She always thinks she is more capable than anyone else and definitely, smarter than me, academically wise, I am sure she is.  So, since she was full of confidence that she can get things sorted easily, I gave her tasks and works that I think is easy for her to accomplish. After all, it is just copied and paste right? So, I gave her some tasks, together with at least 3 samples.  It took her more than a month to come back to me.  What's more bizarre was, there's tons and tons of mistakes and points that are not properly assessed and done.  When I asked her why? She said she doesn't know how to do it and I wasn't guiding her.  I wonder how am I suppose to guide her.  If I guide her, it is basically telling her to just follow my idea, my methods and copy everything verbatim.  What will she learn to do then?  After a few times of what I thought I am giving her an opportunity to explore and to learn, not that she doesn't appreciate my efforts, but she compliant that I did not teach her much.  The problem is, she refused to try and make some mistakes and learn from them.  It is all goes to her being too proud of herself.  She thinks by avoiding doing it, she can do better in future.  That's not my way of teaching and certainly a wrong way for someone to try to learn something (in my opinion).  So,  I gave up giving her the opportunity (because I do run a business in case you don't realise and matters do need to moves on).  I can't wait for her to sit on the files forever until she gets to know how to do it.  If she didn't put effort into it, it's not my problem.  At the end of the day, it's her future problem.   Of course, she is not practising now.  

Is my job easy to be done?  A practising lawyer who is in her 8th year, that I was trying to coach in the past few months will tell you now that, it is not.  Regardless of how many samples, how many ideas, how much analysis, meetings, etc with her, she is still unable to conduct a full trial to her satisfaction because there are so many surprises along the way, so many issues to deal with that she eventually missed out and she has to call me to ask, "Ok.  This is it, I am not trying anymore.  Can you please take this case". I am not saying I am good.  I am saying, that's what I have been doing and I know how to get it done rightly and accordingly.  That's me, I am an advocate, a counsel, a barrister.  I think differently and it is just difficult for me to unplug from the skills, training, knowledge, experiences that I have.  Something that I have done in the past 16 years.  

So, when the headhunter company called and asked me what's your expertise, I can tell them, besides attending Court, I am no good at anything at all.  That will also mean, no corporate company will want someone like me in their organisation or company unless they want someone to make sure they comply with regulations, laws and others and so their products, their client's benefits are protected or, someone to advise them since this is the issue, what's the best-case scenario and what's the worst-case scenario and what are the steps to be taken.  But how many will need people like me in the corporate world? 

While waiting for an opportunity to leave law practises, I do, however, need to focus on what I can do now in helping others to get out from their legal issues faced.  No. if you think a layman can do a lawyer's job, from the drafting of an agreement to going to Court, then go ahead, save some money ... and you might lose long term clients or you will end up paying more fees at the end.  Lawyer charged according to a scale fees here in Malaysia.  Compare to other countries, Malaysia's fees scale is really cheap and yet, there are still many people trying to save up that money for other things instead of using a lawyer's expertise to secure their own interest.  To me, that's a very stupid investment.  

Even a trained lawyer might not be able to do certain works.  What more a layman? So, don't be stupid and tell the judges that you want to defend yourself.  The option is there, doesn't mean it is beneficial to you because a case does involve issues of facts and laws.  What are they? If you don't understand that itself, you need a lawyer. 

- Expertise - 

The outsider who might need to move out of her comfort zone

After approximately 20 years of hardship in life and finally being able to settle down in this place and having all that I have now, I can tell you, I am very much satisfied with life and I do not mind to lives like this until I died.  At least, that's what my plan was and I have been doing very well in keeping that status for the past few years.  Stepping out of my comfort zone is not something in mind and the most I can do is probably for a few weeks and that's all.  I always reckoned that God has finally let me have the life I wanted and I can now settle like this until my last day on earth.  

Even if I am thinking about going to the mission field, I probably put my first choice in the top list with no other 2nd choice or 3rd choice because I thought, that's would be a very comfortable zone that I think I can cope with and God will not give me something I am not able to cope with anyway (according to the bible).  So, yes... I am so unwilling to step out of my comfort zone.  

The past 2 months, life has been a bit unpredictable and I started to think about the future and while praying and meditating on His words, there's two passages and wordings that came to mind constantly, i.e. sharing the gospel with the outsider and going out of my comfort zone.  Seriously, it doesn't make sense to me at all.  Not until one day I received an email from a foreign country asking if I am available for a phone interview sometime that week.  I replied, received no answer, but the phone rang one afternoon and I got the phone interview done.  No.  I have yet to hear from them ever since and I always think chances like that will never come to me unless it is God's will. I am, however, happy that I get through the assessment (bloody difficult one) and got myself into that 2nd stage (phone interview).  I am happy because I applied to the same place in the past 3 years many times, and I can never get through that assessment stage or even before that.  So, yes.  It's an achievement, regardless of whether I get the job or not. It would definitely be interesting and exciting if I am given that opportunity, but at the same time, it brings fear.  I told a friend about it and she asked me, between country 1 and country 2 (i applied to both), which would I choose.  I told her, both are out of my comfort zone and she said, she would think so too and she said, I might, however, need to prepare for the 'worse' though because if God wants me to go to those places, I better be ready to move. She reminded me of the passage of being an outsider reaching out to an 'outsider' too, what more totally out of my comfort zone.  

If you ask me, I think I would love to have the job.  But at the same time, I am terrified because I know nothing about the job and nothing about that country or not knowing how to settle down, etc.  But what I am more excited about is that I probably finally be able to reach out to the people God places in my heart for a long time to reach out to, probably in the past 25 years.  I was reminded that both my dad and my uncle did mention this to me before they passed away.  "You go out to evangelise but never forget these places."  I do hope I have that opportunity to serve Him in those places, regardless of my comfortability.  

Having received no news from the recruiter for a while now does make my faith shakes a bit and thinking again, that no one will want to give me that opportunity because I am not good enough for the job they are offering and/or I am not able to contribute much because I don't know much of the laws in those countries.  I don't want to lose that faith, knowing that He can move mountains and seas if that's His will and desire for me.  All I need to say is probably, yes, no matter how difficult it is, I am willing to go for you, Lord. 

At the same time, of course, I have to make sure that I am prepared to step out when He moved the mountain or the sea.  

- The outsider who might need to move out of her comfort zone  -