Anniversary

When I look at the date today... GHOOSH....it's 30th September 2007... It's the date I was first called.... in the High Court of Malaya... I cannot believe time flies... and that.. things, people, surrounding, place are all different now. I was worried so much about salary then and I was just being told the pay in KL is still very good to lawyer. At least, all my friends are getting about RM4000 per month for the time being. Of course we all do know that, it will soon reached the maximum pay and if we are good enough, we will be offered a place as partner. Well, what can I say? I am still not over with the issue of 'future' YET.

However, as today is the Vacation Sunday in our Diocese, the preaching today has really spoken to me. I was thinking for myself... when is the right timing for such move. However, to my suprise, I found that I am not called to go now. May be at the time when I need to leave everything (my success) behind me and not now when I needed comforts and encouragement.

Well, my pastor in church has spent me for dinner and we managed to share a bit about ministries, etc. Well, I guess though she keeps on reminding me about full time ministries, she does understands that what lays in my heart for God also.

Well, I really don't know 'what's next'. I wonder if I should tender my notice of resignation NOW. I always get emotional on things arose... I had a lesson before and I was warned of my emotional action and consequences that it might brings. So... I better give myself a few more days.. or may be weeks.

Lord, show me the way....

- anniversary -

Weird...

Yesterday, my left foot was painful and that has caused me almost cannot walk or drive. However, without realising what happen, the pain was gone this morning... and before I notice the pain was gone around evening, my right foot was feeling painful. I couldn't remember if I ever injured my foot intentionally or unintentionally. Ghooosh..... what happen to my foots? Thank God I always carry the chinese medicine with me wherever I go...and after applied it, now I am feeling much better...!!!

********************

Without telling you in details... I guess I have just made a decision today. This decision might or might not be good to me, but it will surely nourishing my spiritual life... if it didn't nourish my wealth. The conclusion is... it will definately impact my future. Ghoosh... I used to love having 'unpredictable' life... but honestly, I feel a bit frustrated with UNSETTLED lifestyle lately. I can't seems to have a good and stable and predictable lifestyles.... what I am saying? Hmm.. nope.. i don't wish to have settle down as in get married, have my family, etc... I just wish to have a stable lifestyle... as in I don't need to worry about so many things at the same time. Ghoosh... and these few years... I have different things happen at the same time ... and every year... I seems to be in a different place, different job, different lifestyle and so on. It seems like I cannot do ONE thing at ONE place, living a same lifestyles of life for a period more than 2 years. It's that weird.... Why is this happen to me? It must be something to do with ME... !

Many issues came into my mind because of this. Be it.. whether I run away from something that caused all these, or whether it's my attitudes and characters problem, etc. etc. Or did I missed some important messages from God, etc.etc. Or may be I shouldn't even come back from England? Or may be I shouldn't even come back from KL? etc. etc. What and where and when did I made a WRONG move?

Anyway... I won't be able to get an answer NOW, that's for sure. ... but weird... I started to 'worry' about my future. hahahahaha.... (some of you do know what I mean)

- weird -

Be Warned!!!!

It was last year when I first arrived in KL that a friend in KL called to asked what he should do in a case were his brother received a phone call alleging that it's from the High Court, asked for details, etc. and his brother gave all the details asked. Well, a friend has called me recently telling me that the same thing happen to her father lately and I heard from a few friends that they are also receiving similar call. Together with this call, there's another call from whatever shopping mall, telling you that they are doing survey, etc, etc and that they wanted your personal details. First, let me warn you and tell you that, this is a scam.

The court will not initiate proceeding to sue you if you didn't do anything wrong. On top of that, even if you done wrong, it is IMPOSSIBLE that they do not know your details. If you tell me you want to sue your neighbour or someone, as a lawyer, by whatever details you gave me, I will be able to get all his IC, Name, address, etc... so, it is impossible that the court will call you for details.

All the phone calls are speaking in Chinese, Mandarin to be exact and hello... Malaysian... I heard you complain why court today need to use BM and with that in mind, why would you want to trust that your court has improved until they can use Mandarin or ONLY knows how to speak in Mandarin?

So, please... whoever calls you for details, ask them to request by writing with their letter head.

I seriously received 2 calls yesterday morning. One through my KL line phone and another, my house phone. At the SAME time... one from the shopping mall and another from the court (that's what they said). I heard 2 of ther versions with my own ears. It's a scam!!!!!

*********************

On no warning and cause, my left leg (not my broken leg) was feeling pain since yesterday to a point that I couldn't walk this morning. Well, it's like a pull of muscles then broken bone for sure. But the pain is irritating and ... I can barely walk. This morning, I even had difficulties driving... I almost couldn't press the clutch to the end. Whatever it is... I hope I can be home safely later. hahahaha...

- be warned -

Weekend Challenge

It was 2 weeks ago that I have decided to join the Medical Camp organised by the Diocese Welfare Board, Diocese of Sabah, although it was published and calling for volunteer months ago in all churches across Sabah.

The journey started at 1pm though we gathered at Wisma Anglican at 12pm. It was because I have to take photographes of their departure and also Annie was taking video of the departure of the team. We stopped by Ranau for a drink and snacks before we continue our journey to Telupid. We reached Telupid, the Valley of Blessing at about 6pm. We were all being warmly welcomed by the Archdeacon Melter Tais and his family by a small but yet very tasty BBQ buffet at the church compound. We had a short briefing after the dinner before we head to our bed and sleep.

The next day, we woke up at 6am and got ourselves ready to go to this village call Entilibon which is about 1 1/2 hours drives from Telupid. The road was bumpy but we thank God that it did not rain. Otherwise, I cannot imagine how difficult our journey would be. When we reached the community hall at Entilibon, I was shocked to see so many people were gathered in front of the hall, waiting for registration and waiting to be attended by the doctors. It was a challenge for me as photographer to go around every single 'department' to take some shots of their interesting 'encounter'. However, about 700 villages turned up just that morning and that many has their medicines picked up and went home happily. I can see how happy they were although they were sick.

It was a very tiring trip but it was not only fun, but also very meaningful trip. It was my first time seeing a tooth being extracted because it was joined with bone. It was interesting to see people lined up to get their eyes to check up because there's free spectacles to be taken home. It's interesting also to see the kids playing around, and asking for candies, etc. The people who is born and grew up in the City though they were there to so call help, but I can see that they are not used to the environment and the situation. But they had stepped a very brave step to at least turned up. To me, the villages' life is not something strange to me. I used to play around with those local people when I was younger. I get along with their lives easily as I did got around with them when I was younger. I like their food. Treasured their food and surrounding. It's sometimes weird to found out that I am really alright with their kind of living. hahaha....

All photos can be view at http://picasaweb.google.com/peisanlin/SabahMedicalCamp

Well, because of the challenge in Entilibon, I have missed a good friend's wedding. So sorry my dear... I know you don't mind because I really am not absent from your wedding purposely. You know that... anyhow, Contratulation and God Bless, Felicia and Nicholas!!!

- weekend challenge -

Pressure!!

It's rather easy to give me pressure... just gave me more than 200 matters at one time, and keep on asking for the result and works and rushed me till I couldn't get up in the morning but forced myself to get up no matter how, then you are successful. But if you give me only 10 matters at one time and wanted to fulfil your mission to give me pressure, forget about it. hahahaha....

Well, this morning however, I realise that I can easily feel pressure when it comes to loss soul. There are millions, brilliant, tons lost souls in the world and and yet because of the amount of the loss souls and my failure of reaching out to them and get them to be saved, I am very much pressured. In fact, I shall say, I am very much frustrated of not being able to reach out to them and that people arounds me, also has less care of them though they know they are not saved. A cell member used an illustration last night.... imagine that you are seeing a group of people inside the burning house, would you be able to just sit there to watch them die, or at least pour some water over the house and try your best? I believe some people will just sit there, enjoy themselves and rather go shopping just like they didn't see the burning house and heard the screaming of those who are inside the house. I saw a car blocking the way of an ambulance lately. The car was about the 9th car in front of me. All of us, tried out best to gave way to this ambulance but this car, in front, just stop there without moving... caused the ambulance have to horn it for a few times, still, it didn't move. I am thinking if the driver would have thought that, the patient is not someone related to him/her and therefore he/she doesn't want to care at all. I guess, some people are this selfish. If he/she is on the ambulance, I wonder what he/she would do then.

Many Christians today are just like this. It's good that we are christian and that's good enough. Now, we are busy with other things, we will keep our faith, we will pray, we will read bible, we will go to church, we will involve in ministry, but the rest of the time, we want to use it for ourselves. Don't ask me to share the gospel to others or bring somone to Christ or church. It cost too many of my time to take care fo them. I don't even have enough time for myself, etc.etc.

Most of us, have forgotten what is the Great Commission. In fact, we just thought believing in God is good enough. This is really saddening....

I am somehow feel the pressure given me to me lately... to lead this group of people who are not only stubborn, but also arrogant and selfish. Most of the time, I really feel TIRED and Frustrated... !!! They thought the group owe by me. And because of that, they will not do anything to help nor volunteer themselves to help. They will just have this "don't care" mentality. I can understand if a non-christian is having this mentality, but I just cannot tolerant it when the mature christian (they claimed themselves matured) are doing the same. It's really pressuring when I need to attend to this group of people.

- pressure -

Frustration!

Usually, I will shown my frustrations over some people when I really feel frustrated, but these few days, I guess I am really too tired to even think or feel the frustration even thought I know I am very much being frustrated.

Since young, we were teached that new comer in church will be the TREASURE and therefore, all schedule has to be put down just to take care of new comer. New comer, new soul is the first priority. However, I guess I have forgotten that not everything being educated the same way we are because most of the christian today has forgotten about the Great Commission. All they remember is to 'enjoy ' themselves with what they 'feel' like they want. They do not want to bother about some other things, especially new comer because taking care of a new comer will take away all their 'privacy', their 'freedom' and it needs attention, sacrifices and so on. I guess that's the main reason why in this church that I am attending now that there happen a 'cold' section and that the church is struggling in its breakthrough.... only a few noted the word and work of 'sacrifices' and ... more over, most are so reluctant to 'give' and to 'sacrifies'.

I was told by some KK people that this is KK culture. They are selfish and they only care for themselves and their own feeling. May be I was brought up from this small town that we tend to care for each other more (until sometimes, we really do not need newspaper to spread over a news). I am honestly feeling very frustrated over their attitudes over the weekend.

The second issue of course is that the court matter that I attended in Tawau yesterday. Well, since morning, I was being bothered by delay and postponment .... first the hearing was postponed to the afternoon and later, it was postponed to other date which will be notify later. I was of course glad that my friend didn't come because at least, I have a home to go back to for a rest and good meal. If my friend attended, she would have needed to hang around in town. Thirdly, my flight to come back to KK was delayed... everything is delayed... postponded and waiting...

Goodness.... so frustrated over things... !!!!

- frustrated -

Satisfaction

It was a huge responsibility and pressures when I was told that I am the official photographer for the Mooncake Festival in my church on 15.09.2007, which was just ended about 2 hours ago. I was very happy to knows that I do not need to be in any of the functions. Hence, I do not need to attend all the rehearsal, setting up, etc. etc. However, I was "pressured" these few weeks with the task assigned to me. Mainly I guess it was because I know I lack of a very important gadget, the flashlight. I did consider getting one but I really do not have such budget for now. But the Mooncake Festival is at night and I was told the children will be playing with 'Tang Lung' (Lantern) after the colouring competition. However, nothing I can do about it. I just need to use whatever I have to the maximum to achieve the BEST quality possible.

I woke up this morning by a call from this client. Thereafter, another client just when I finished the first call. The third one came in about 30 minutes later, then another two 30 minutes after that. It was suppose to be my ONLY sleepying day but I ended without achieving my 'resting' and 'sleeping' time. Anyway, after the second call, I realised someone sent me a message. After I read it, I was sadden by it. A sister, Sister Oi Chin has passed away this morning around 6:45am. I forwarded the message to my parents as they know this sister very well. Thereafter, I went to get all my things done with 2 friends, then to church, start my photo capturings.

To cut the story short, just today, I have taken around 721 pictures from 1:30pm until 10pm. After I downloaded it to my computer and browsed through them, I am kind of satisfied with most of them. I must say, I have to invest on flashlight. Apart from that, I am satisfied. I realise that I really love photography. Such a satisfaction I had.

Well, time to sleep. Have to wake up at 6am tomorrow as there's this Hong Kong Group attending our chinese service tomorrow and yes.... I am sure you have guessed it, I am assigned for another task. It's great!!! No regret buying the new DSLR though it really cost me ... hahaha... Anything that is used for God's kingdom is a good investment. Don't you think so?

- satisfaction -

Suprise...!!!!

Suprise, suprise... I have not been reading my friends' blogs for a long long time. Time flies and things changed. I wonder what kept me occupied for the past few months. Some said I shouldn't take a 'job' so seriously. Some said, I shouldn't take 'religion' so seriously. Some even said, I should treat myself better, at least give myself time to rest. I wish all that came through deep down from my heart but it is just 'impossible'. Simply because the 'job' that you mentioned is actually a responsibility. The 'religion' that you talked about has impact to lives and that time for myself has always been given to both the 'job' and 'religion' so as my family.

A friend has reminded me that I should treasure my time to be with my parents more. Suprisingly, I have been travelling back to hometown the 4th times this month. Out of the blue, a friend offered me to go back to Tawau for a case on behalf of her. I guess she is giving me chance to go home. Isn't that a blessing? Therefore, as decided yesterday, I am going back to Tawau again this Sunday afternoon, after the sunday service.

Well, ... 'suprise'!!!!

-'suprise' -

Frustration

It's not long ago that once again I was challenged to work faithfully with this ministry. However, I guess people didn't realise that they could be the cause why things cannot be advanced and that they have became a hindrance for people to serve God MORE.

I met lots of these people since I came over to KK. I won't say it is totally the KK fault but I would say, it is the attitudes that the KK people developed that makes it such. People in small place or especially those who never seen the outside world thought they are already the BEST and that it is ENOUGH to stay where they are. I guess, it is good enough for small places who developed a high quality to stay where they are FOR A WHILE. But they shouldn't stay there for the rest of their life. When generation passed, things changed, technologies advances, things and methods need to be improved. However, what I encounter so far is that they LOVE to think that they are the BEST and they wanted to keep it for the rest of their life and that's what made me frustrated.

Seriously, it's 'frustrated'.

- frustration -

Great man of God!

During my last visit to Tawau, my hometown, a grandaunt passed to me and my dad a booklet. A booklet which has a record of Elton Hill, a missionery who served in Borneo. He has made such an impact in today's churches across Borneo. The reason this grandaunt gave us this booklet, not because of Elton Hill, but it's because it has records of my great great grandfather. (My dad's grandmother's father) His name is Fong Hau Kong. He came from Guang Dung, China around 1890+ and served God here as missionary and later, he was ordained as Deacon and Priest and became the first Priest in Kudat, Sabah. He was made Deacon after a few years of serving, but only ordained as Priest after 20 years of serving as Deacon. The moral of the story of what he did was his faithfulness to the Lord!!! He is a great man of God.

Now if you ask me how many of us in the family who is a Reverend/Priest, I really scratching my head. But it's clear that I am at least the 5th generation's Christian. Now I started to know why I have such burden for people in Sabah.

It is continuous....

- Great man of God! -

Lately...

It has not been a 'predictable' weeks for the past 2 weeks. I cannot remember when was the last time I post anything on this blog. My mind is filled with too many details and works, be it works and/or ministries, friends and/or clients.

I attended the Worship Conference last holiday. It's great to have been able to play, learn and enjoy music. Music... is something I don't think I can lives joyfully with if it is not around. It's something I believe not only God loves, but all of us loves. I had really learned so much during the whole worship conference. Thanks for those who is willing to share and teach. I really thank God for them. However, after the worship conference, once again I am challenged to do better for the Lord in this ministry. What I had, was a truely busy holiday.

However, I had a 'genuine' holiday (unexpected) las weekend. Everytime when I planned to go back for holiday, I ended up working crazily until I had no time for anyone in the family. I remember how much I missed the change to play with my nephew and niece the previous time. I didn't even have time to pass urine I shall add.

Well, last weekend, it was a sudden arrangment for me to go back to my hometown to bring 3 groups of people to see a piece of land which my uncle is selling. It's too sudden until arrangment was really upside down. At first, it's schedule to be on Monday but last minute, it was arranged to Tuesday, then Tuesday afternoon. So, I ended up to have Monday and Tuesday free. Glad to have some really nice and close friends to hang around with as it's their day off and holiday. So, I happen to have an unplanned holiday.

Mom of course cooked what I long to have since a month ago... CRABS!!!!! It's so delicious and nice... !!!!

So yes.. that's all about what happen lately...

- lately -