My guitar...

I remember it was 10 years ago that I asked my dad if I can buy a guitar as birthday present for myself by using his credit card. I was very bored and I was in need of some entertainment and some moment to praise and worship God in my own personal time. Dad said yes... and there I was... made my way down to Kuala Lumpur, near Lot 10.... to be exact, opposite Lot 10, not Sungai Wang... the other side, Bentley is the name of the shop. I went.... saw a guitar with a colour and sound and brand that I wanted. To many, it's not a very expensive guitar, but yet, to buy a guitar with RM890 10 years ago, was not very cheap for me...especially when I have yet to earn a cent.... yet.... Dad knows how much I need a guitar... and so, i told myself, RM890 guitar shall last me for the next 10 years or more....

I was being asked to do praise and worship at the prayer meeting last night and so, I went... with my guitar. I didn't choose a plug-in guitar because all those days, I only play bass guitar in church and so, I thought, a non-plug-in should be enough. After all, I will need to add another RM300 if I want a plug-in acoustic guitar... so, I only choose the non-plug-in acoustic guitar... When I reached KK, my cousin helped me with getting a pick-up and so, I have been using that for the last 4 years...

Last night, as I was listening and praying... after my leading... I saw my guitar in front... it has served the Lord 10 years now.... be it in the cell group, in caroling, or in services and prayer meetings..........RM890 has somehow lasted 10 years now....and I am sure it will last for many more years to come.... as I was looking at my guitar, I just can't deny the fact that, I really love my guitar.... I really like it... its colour, its sound, its brand and .... it's faithfullness....!!!

- My guitar... -

Record day!

2 records were made today.... First, a friend passed me 10 cases at one go. For the first time, we have to open 10 files just in one day. How encouraging to know.... friends do remember me when they have business to pass to a lawyer...

Secondly, I walked to St.Francisco Coffee after I made some enquiry in Bank and.... this guy asked me what I want, I told him I want a tuna sandwich and he asked if i want the one with white bread or the one with wholemeal bread. I normally will just take the wholemeal but because finances is very tight, I did check on the price and i told him I would like to have the white bread. After that, I ordered a cup of hot mohca... small size.... then i open my wallet and i couldn't find a single ringgit in the wallet......... i checked a few times, no. Not a cent. Where are all my money, i wonder.... and while I was checking, the guy told me the total amount to be paid. I was looked at him and asked him if he will accept credit cards and he politely told me, he would, if I made purchase of more than RM20, which I didn't and so, I asked him if it is alright for me to walk across to the bank to withdraw money while he makes my coffee. He smile and answered : "sure". I walked over to the bank, withdrew money, came back and he just finish preparing my coffee, I made the payment and left. He gave me a really ... 'smile'. arrgg... so embarrasing.............

- Record day! -

Studying law?

It's weird when a doctor asked me about studying law. Well, I only knew the lawyers will want to be a doctor and not the other way round, but.... well, ya, I was asked about studying law ... It's even more weird if I tell you that the doctor is not a normal medical officer. Well... guess people just never contented with what we have huh?

Well, I have recently watched the show "The Rainmaker", where a young lawyer took up his first case and made history. He was in court even before he got his license and the judge shouted at him and asked him to come back only when he got his license. Yes. He was that 'young' as a lawyer when he took up a trial. He made lots of mistakes, he can't get his questions rights (keep asking a leading questions), etc. He went through the whole trials and he won the case .... and that moment of joy, I am sure it was unspeakable. However, the following news came in was that due to that, the company being sued went bankrupt and they do not have money to pay them, including 1/3 out of the claims he is entitled to. At the end of the day, he only practice as a lawyer for that case and he quit his profession.

I have seriously not sure on what basis people keep saying becoming a lawyer or be in a law profession, the lawyer is rich and they have a good future. All I have experience these years is that, life is stressful and clients never pay and that leads me to go into 'bankruptcy' instead of others. Good future? How can it be good, I wonder.... I am not saving life... I am not helping anyone to ease their pain, be it their emotions, or they pocket. Be it they win or lose the case, the party involve is still suffering from emotional distress and also financial distress. I have recently billed a client after the trial of which she told me she only be able to pay me on the 8th December. I allow that arrangement because I know, we all know, that it is a huge amount of money. I have also another client whom I charged pursuant to the new Advocates' Remuneration Rules where the "no discount rules" apply, and she jumped, asking us to use all sorts of way just to get away with it.

That's what people will do to a lawyer.... but none, will do that to a doctor. When you go to see a doctor, would you ever thought of asking him for discount? Have you ever? So, lawyers ought to give discount (even with non discount rules applied) and not doctors, right?

Now, do you see why do I always feel like I am being bullied and no one respect me as a lawyer now a day? I seriously think people needs to respect their lawyer and pay them. Worse still, how many people manage or have sued doctors for losing their love one's life? And how many people rather sue their lawyer because they lose their money? I wonder which one is more important.

So, it is quite hard when the discussion goes with this doctor about studying law. He thinks studying law and practising law is a better option than becoming a doctor... and I disagree with that completely.

- Studying law? -

Stranger?

I wonder how everyone reacts towards meeting someone you do not know for the first time. Strangely, I reacted differently when it comes to different kind of stranger. If the stranger is a client whom I have never met before this, ... I reacted quite naturally, talked to him/her and I manage to start a few topics to make sure they feel comfortable while talking to me. When it comes to people I meet for the first time in church, most of the time, I reacted quite ok with it, but it all depends on whether the person is willing to open up and talk. But I tend to react very 'weirdly' or 'strangely' around close friends of those whom I am close to, which I have never met before. Yup... I feel somewhat... not comfortable with people like that, as if my life is in danger. Ya, insecure you might want to put it. Worse still, when the close friends keep talking to my friends and they made me feel like I am not welcome. There's a few occasions, where such situations happen and I have to excuse myself silently and retrieve to my 'comfort zone'.... to my own car, sit there and play games, .... or walked away from them and stand somewhere, trying to get myself busy and all....

Well, .... I always thought it is something WRONG with me...(my mom always told me I love to be in my own world and doesn't like to be with people) and I started to do some examination on myself by meeting strangers...................MORE! I have no problem when it comes to getting along with new bosses, getting along with new colleagues, getting along with new students.... new comer in church, etc.... and I started to wonder.... if it is really me that's wrong or people arounds me that's wrong. hahahahahaha.... Well, ... I guess, we reacted differently when we are to face strangers.... and I happen to be someone how is so not open to meet people who do not sincerely want to meet me and know me (have to say "hi" to me because I am so and so's friends and it is impolite to not to say "hi").

I happen to joined 2 strangers for lunch a while ago and while they were talking, I feel instead of them being stranger to me, that I am a stranger in the table and I am not welcome. OF COURSE I do know they do not mind having me around.... but ... it's that feeling I am saying.. that makes me feel awkward!!!!!

I seriously need to know how to deal with stranger, still. At least from the stage where I don't even dare to go in a shop to buy things myself .... until now, I can go pump petrol myself, it's such an improvement. But I think I need to put more efforts huh?

Ya....

- Stranger? -

Opportunity?

I was asking the question of whether this is my job or his job or their job thousand and million of time... because my boss tends to leaves everything in the office under my care for weeks every month and that leaves me wonder if it is my job to perform certain duties and work in the office, including some of his and previous colleague's files......well, to be exact, I am not paid for handling those files and work. More so, this morning, I have to go Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri to get 3 documents stamped because I need it urgently and my office boy told us he can't get it done in the morning. After the LHDN, I have to also made a trip to the bank to get a bank draft issued to pay Jabatan Tanah dan Ukur. All these, ..... i wonder if those are what I need to do...

Well, when I was rushing to finish drafting an Affidavit for client to execute tomorrow morning, my clerk brough 3 files up (same client) and she was helping me with confirming how much disbursement the 3 files has incurred so far and she made mistakes on it. A mistake which I noted without going into detail. I told her to make thorough check on the bills and all and all she told me in respond was, the auditor is asking her to check all the accounts and she wants to be excused from doing anything else but the accounts. I seriously told her that if account is what she needs to focus on and if she can't finish, she will have to do OT if that's needed. I told her i also brought works home and skipped lunch if I need to.

She thought doing bill is not her job. I see it as an opportunity for her to learn, to get used to things. But if she is not seeing it as opportunity, I won't give her that opportunity at all. So, i called her to bring all the 3 files up and I have done the bills myself.

I guess, we are reluctant to do 'extra' works.... we calcuate too much, don't we? ... haiz... Seriously, we tend to apply this more often when it comes to church ministries.... but God says, "I give you an opportunity to serve me, and you said, you are frustrated with the opportunity I gave you?"

So, it is extra works or opportunity?

- opportunity? -

Influences

It's a stressful week but for a change, at least, I only need to deal the stress at work and not others. It's weird... as it has never happen before. I guess somehow, people arounds me has been happy and so, somehow, the stress has left. I ponder however, during sleep for the past few hours.... what will cause a person to be sad, unhappy... and what will changed a person to be happy. I wrote in this blog few weeks ago about asking ourselves whether we are happy. It is a question I always ask myself. And the answer I always have is be it happiness or unhappiness, it will only last for a while and most of the time, it is influenced by what happen around us and ... also of what said to us by those we are close to.

I wonder therefore, if we have make others happy by what we did and what we said. Or are we influencing others' happiness and unhappiness because we are unhappy or happy, which was caused by others? Yes... it goes round and round and round.... and somehow, I am so bothers by it and I woke up around 4 something... even though I am very tired after the trial.

Well, I guess.... unless I lives all by myself ... otherwise, it is almost impossible to not to be influenced by others. I seriously hate this........

- Influences and/or impact -