New Year?

Hmm.... I have written something ... but I don't feel like putting them up. Don't ask me why...

Anyway... just want to take this opportunity to thanks those who has always been supportive and encouraging me for the past year. Some of you of course do recall my most despaired moment this year and without you, I don't think I survives well enough. So, thank you very much.

For those who have hurted me (of course you won't be able to know if you are one as I am a good liar somehow... a trained one), thanks for making me realise my weaknesses even more. I shall try to do better in the year ahead. hahaha....

Anyway.... Happy New Year!!!!

Holiday?

It's so weird.... I purposely took today and tomorrow off to 'rest', but I ended up working since 8am although I went to sleep only at 3am this morning. Goodness... It's not very easy to put myself in holiday. A few friends called me and asked me why I went back to Tawau instead of going for holiday. I seriously don't know. May be it's an OBLIGATION for me to go back to be with my parents?

Oh well, I keep on telling myself that I need to put more efforts to make sure that I have holiday until 02.01.2008. Please remind me... anyhow, I do need to go land office for an appointment at 8am tomorrow and teaching on this Saturday from 9 to 1:30pm. hai...

Anyway... Christmas at home was ok. Meeting OLD friends is always good... and meeting those kids who remember me was fantastic... hahaha.... Check out the link below of the drama St.Patrick did. Very well!!!

http://picasaweb.google.com/peisanlin/StPatrickSChurchChristmasEvent

- holiday ? -

One more day...

After today, I have one more working day before I go back home for Christmas. Last month and this month are suppose to be my 'honeymoon' moment as I do not want to stress myself too much in works and ministries. Somehow, I get to escape from all Christmas functions, both in KK and Tawau. So, I hope I'll have a good, relaxing Christmas this year. 2 to 3 months ago, I was seriously stress and completely burned out. With unforeseenable and forseenable circumstances came to my way at the same time, I almost fail to handle my emotions and rationalism.

Oh well, I guess almost all those arounds me didn't realise how difficult I was. As leader, I was taught ways to handle situation like this. Suprisingly, those close one has failed to realise my 'situation' but some not so close one somehow got my stress de-stressed. Weird!!! Of course there's one or two who has always concern about me do follow up with my recent news. Don't get me wrong. I am not blaming anyone. I am just saying... we have certain friends on certain time/occasions. Some just happen to forgets about you when you need them and some just happen to be around when you need them. It's weird how thing works.

Well, since Christmas is around the corner and I will be 'disconnected' from the internet soon... I do want to take this opportunity to thanks those who happens to be around during my time of 'suffering' and also to wish everyone else, a blessed and merry Christmas!!!!

- merry christmas -

stress? exhausted?

Well, well, well... finally, the most busy week of mine has gone past. Thank goodness everything went well althought not to my satisfaction. hahaha... well, ... what can I say? I wasn't in a good state of health the other day.. and in fact, for the past 3 days. Just went to see doctor, nothing serious. So... not to worry!

I am going back home this coming Saturday. Therefore, this week is my shopping week. I need to get all the christmas gifts ready, both for KK and also Tawau's friends and relatives. I am seriously looking for a good, delicious Christmas cake for my godmother. Hmm... Not to forgot also my great grandaunt and some close relatives. I have yet to visit the new born nephew since he went back home. Oh well...

busy week... and according to doctor, my 'sickness' is highly due to tiredness. hahahaha.... I need some sleep... But I know it's hard to get sleeps at home... everytime I go back, I will need to fulfill some obligation. Speaking of which, I just being reminded that I need to get a DVD. OH NO....

- stress? exhausted? -

Tips of Borneo

Nice trip.... althought I was driving (I found out that I seriously love to drive while I am stress), but being with friends whom I don't know much is truely FUN. hahahahaa.....

I had fun. Thanks for everything...

- tips of Borneo -

Pre-Christmas!!!

I guess in a way, my body is trying to avoid things that I am facing at the moment. When I said Body, I mean it. I have at least manage to control my mind to face the challenges ahead, but my body has failed me. It started with a slide flu and later, cough in the middle of the night and these few days, it just rejected everything that goes in, including water. I cannot remember when was the last time my body rejected water. The moment water goes down and reached my stomach, it pushed it all out. Hmm... well, yes, due to that and a 3 days trials for the past 3 days, you can imagine how weak my body is now. However, it does seems BETTER today althought I woke up a few times during the middle of the night.

This weeks is pack. Pack with works, ministries and so on. I couldn't help it but to assign works to someone who is facing exam this week. I couldn't help it but ot assign works to someone whom I know has a busy schedules. Even though I felt the pain of doing that, but I can't help it. I just cannot do it. Usually I can force myself to do all, but just not this round. I am seriously 'weak'.

Friends who came over and expect me to have a meal with them ended up going shopping alone. "I am sorry" is what all I can do for now.

Oh well, thanks for those who are always around to give me support and encouragement! It has been for a long time now that I did not receive 'suprises'. You just did well on that.

By the way, I have just decided to go back to Tawau on 22.12.2007. It is a one way ticket though... hmm.... well, it's all because I have the whole Christmas week off from work. So...

- pre-christmas -

Facing v. Avoiding

I almost manage to get away from the past, but it came back to my mind lately of how painful things was in the past to me. I thought I was not of myself these few days because I am sick, but I guess it's more than that. I thought I started to get used to this new firm, but nope. I am not. I thought I have ended the issue of my "next step" for the time being but nope, I don't think so. Things just hitting me back ... again and agian these few days until I really wonder what I am doing now.

There are issues that struck me hard and strong years ago which just haunt me back these few days... there are issues which I thought I have forgotten, has just 'eating' my brain cell off. It's not easy somehow to understand why things still 'troubles' me today....

OF all things, I am sure only God knows every details of my life. It's so amazing... some people knows me during my primary school time, some only in secondary, some only when I was in my Uni time, some only when I was hurted, some only when I was happy, some only in church, some only at home, but God knows every details...

I guess, therefore, only God understands me....

- ... -

Finally...

Signed shown to me earlier on and I knew it's going to come my way weeks ago... I tried my best to prevent it but unfortunately, I am really too exhausted and with the lack of sleeps, etc... and things just turned to the way it is... I am finally down with flu!!! It all started from my ears... ghoosh... I have hearing problem these few days and especially TODAY. Serious throat infection I am sure... though no sign of sore throat as yet. Well, stop nagging me... I did tried to rest this morning but someone woke me up earlier. I did drink lots of water... till everyone is asking why I visit the toilet so frequently today.

Appetite came back today as I feeling hungry almost every single hour. Goodness me... finally... it reminded me that I should take a break SOON.

Speaking of which, I haven't tell my parents whether I am going home for Christmas or not. They didn't even call and that's not a good sign.... Oh well... I do know some people do expect me to be home for Christmas this year... but if I don't, I am sure they understand too... I have schedules to have 2 weeks off from my college during the Christmas season... and since that's done, ... may be I should really take 2 weeks off from work entirely. Hmm.... if you ask me what I want NOW... i really dunno.

- finally ... -