Testimony?

Last year when dad admitted to hospital due to stroke and while he was in ICU, there are quite a few non-chinese came to visit him and my mother.  Well, my parents used to teach them in school and they respect my parents a lot.  The parents of those children still remember my dad until today because of what he did.  Everyone of them told me, "bapa awak ni, adalah guru besar yang paling bagus."  A few incidents flashes back in my mind, remembering one time, dad looked out and saw a school girl standing there waiting for transport and it's already 6 and she's the only one left there, standing, waiting.  Dad took me and went to check out with the girl and ended up, he sent her home.  That's the first time I went into the Tawau's Ice Box's water village.  Remember when there were a few times, kids were naughty and were asked to go into the headmaster's room, all dad did was a talk, ... no punishment.  But the talk somehow was intense enough to make them cried and apologise.

Few days ago, a lady who push a cart of vegetables in the Taman to sell her harvests.  After mom bought some vegetables from her, she requested to come in and visit my dad.  Neighbours' maids who knew about his condition, often come over and visit him.  Everyone who came back from oversea and other places, came to visit him.  

My dad, lives a life where not only family members loves him, but also whoever's lives that's touched by my dad.  All his students, all his co-worker, all those who know him, etc.  Every year, my dad will send out letters and greeting cards to friends and family that is staying elsewhere.  I learned and adapted the same since young as writing greeting cards together with my dad was one of the best memories I have.  He is such a living testimony for God.  Mom said I am exactly like him but to me, I am not only 10% of him.  

I am glad and proud to be his daughter, really.... I probably didn't have the best first half of my life, but I am going to make the second half worth living... at least living to be a testimony for God. 

It's OK for me to give, to help, to provide, to guide, ... whenever anyone needs it.  Even today, I will stop my car during rainy days to offer someone a ride.  It's ok that they do not appreciate me and my help or take me for granted.  It's up to them to decide.  My decision remains to be, help as much as I can and able.  

I am greatful for those who gave me help all these while... to even let me 'scold', let me get my anger out, and not angry at me.  Thanks for Jane for getting someone to help me start my car in Semporna, thanks for Sophia to tell me I did saved her once.  Thanks for those who remember to inform me that their father has passed away, etc.  People that really know, i do care and want to help if I can. 

I want to be like my dad, who is being respected by everyone who knows him.  For those who loves my parents and gave my parents support for the past few months, I am very much appreciated.  Your help and care and concern and love to them, means... lighten up my burden.  Thank you. 

- Testimony? - 

Who did - 2

Who have come along in helping me until today? These people have not been around in the beginning, but they have tried very hard in making sure I don't do something stupid, and to help whenever they can and available.

(1)  Thomas C (Ranau), for being around for months with not knowing my condition and stick around after he knows of my condition.  His full support in being presence and to take care out of love, is undeniable and really encouraging.  Being understanding, listening and don't do anything in purpose or extra to make me feel uncomfortable.  At least, he has not trying to avoid me purposely or to do anything extra.  Being normal has somehow helped and make me feel I am 'normal'. Taking some time to come down to help me with certain things, to seek help from me, to go taking photographs, etc... simply make me feel that I am normal and I am who I am.  I really appreciate all these.

(2) C.Yen Li, for realising what I am facing even thought she's in KL and we have not contacted each other more than once a year.  She stepped in to care, especially after knowing my dad's condition, etc.  She managed to identified my sickness through one sms conversation, for not been avoiding me like I have a deadly disease, but took time off and spend and help me with ikea shopping, let me disturb her peaceful family time and busy schedules and open her phone line for 24 hours for me.  With all the worries I caused her (the most serious time, I had 24 missed calls), she didn't even scolded or anything but keep on, not giving up on me.  That makes me not to give up of myself.  Such encouragement, I really appreciate.

(3)  Anne and Sarah C, for being around since day one and still around, trying very hard to help me to 'retrieve' myself back.  Telling me what I like to do, telling me what will help, telling me I can always call them or count them on whenever I need it, be it they are in HK or in Melbourne.

(4)  Stephanie Liang, without knowing my condition (not sure if she knows, I have never tell her) for not giving up on me even thought i shouted at her once or twice.  She still made herself available IMMEDIATELY, be it for basketball, for lunch or for dinner, etc.  Even though I can't share much with her, but she stick around, being a great company.  Always asked me how is my dad's doing, etc.  That kind of care, I am encouraged and feel loved.

(5)  Vivienne Y, for always being around to care, to give advice, to help.  She is the only one i can count on in worse time in life.  Her advice and care something divert my attention completely from killing myself. All she did was to sms me, occasionally... not a lot though.  Whenever I met her, she has acted normal and she is accepting me as who I am, despite the sickness, the suicidal thoughts once or twice I told her about.  I feel accepted and I feel normal.

(6)  Yien Loong, I must have prayed hard enough that God at the end sent an OLD friend back to KK since July last year.  She has accepted me as who I am and she has confirmed that I am normal and more than normal.  She has been my guidance on what is right and wrong in my thinking and thoughts.  With her asking for help as tour guides, etc for her is new in KK, makes me to have diverted my concentration on works more. I am glad she has been a good friend and good company.  Not only her, her whole family, including all her uncles, aunties, etc... all are very supportive to me.  I won't run out of food, or support.  Everyone in the family is just there, whenever I need.  I am loved!

(7)  Jonathan, David, Auntie Nyet Choo, uncle John P, for providing and supporting me financially, for loving me unconditionally, for making times to understand my condition and to understand what I am going through.  For loving my parents.  Giving me the full mental supports are the best!

(8)  For Oi Shong, for still loving me of who I am, for loving me despite all the worries I caused.  Treating me, honouring me still despite I told her what did I do and how bad I can turned myself into, etc.  She has been giving me lots of mental support, financial back up whenever I needed, advices, guidance, ... etc.  Believing in me, listening to me at all time.

(9)  Ching Tshui, for being 'around' even though she is in Singapore.  'Reading' my blogs/thoughts and trying to understand me and trying to give me mental support until today...

(10) Lucie Liwanpo and Jessie, for giving me financial support for the 6 months of no income and extra expenses.

(11)  my spiritual children, for remembering me and to treasure me still.

(12)  Eric, for spending new year eve with me, and being around to 'protect' me from the crowd.  Your presence once in a while in this town somehow has given me something to look forward to.

(13)  my dearest mom, for loving me unconditionally... believing in me than all the rumous, etc.  Always stand by my side.

(14)  my dearest dad, for being around to see me through these.  For suffering stroke just for me. (This, can only be understood by him and me alone, and God of course). That has somehow shows me how much my dad loves me.  Thank you, dad.

I am glad some people come around to help and to encourage and to love, there are some which gave up half way.  I don't blame them for giving up on me.  To them, I nothing in their life.  I am now treating them the same way they did it on me.  I know this is what they wants me to.  For those who treasure me and support me and stand besides me and encourage me, I sincerely want to thank you for your efforts made.  I love all.  Thank you for being 'around' and stand by me, believing in me.   

For those who keep telling me my expectation is too high for them to achieve, I can tell you, you are wrong. All I need is just a simple acceptance from you, not being neglects, not being excluded, not being opposed to.  I only ask that you will accept me of who I am.  I know I have done many wrongs... so are you.  But I have forgave everything you all did... but I know you have not.  Your call... I am accountable to God after all. 

- Who did? - 

What did? Who did?

The reason i finally gave up on a few friendship before this year starts:-
(A) Lee Chiun, for giving me lots of shits and stresses knowing that is the last thing i want in life then. More so, she demands for more than what she entitled for, and yet after receiving, she did not even appreciate it, but demand for more. Sorry, i can 'give', out of love, but it is time, i shall love and protect myself from being taken for granted again and again. I good hearted andloving, but i am not stupid.
(B) Debbie Yong, for taking the step to leave me alone regardless how many times i told her not too. I have to protect myself when she not only wasn't helping, but created more things for me to bear. Worse still, she used all other ways to make others to believe in her lies and boycott me. May be i should show everyone what she wrote on her diary. But i am not as nasty and heartless as her. Pity her husband though...
(C) Irene Chung, for forcing me to do things i wasn't able to and to annoyed, irritates me to the maximum. Expecting me to take care of her was the biggest mistake. I have stop loving anyone except myself.
(D) Caroline Lee, for not believing me at all and told me 'you are great, you did it all by yourself'. That's the most hurtful words/phrase for the past year i ever heard and received.
(E) Vanessa Liang, for not believing me at all and keep oppose to every words and things i said. I hate the most when she said, 'anything you like...'. Because when i did, she will anyway either silence or defend or oppose to what i told her. Each time she did that, it slash a deep wound in heart. She has made up her mind not to support or stand by me. Everything i said or told her, it just evaporate in the air. At the end, i feel more hurt and sad by telling then not telling. I decided finally stop all communication because she did it first. At times, i worried about her, but she has turned all my worries to be anger instead. I hates my sms or emails being ignored. That only means, i am ignored.

I gave up on these friendships, but i am not happy about it. I am forced to. If i am not doing this, i am feeling being so ignored by them and it only means, more hurts to myself. Yes, it is not fun to be PURPOSELY ignored by your closes friends. Well, i am sure not many understand the feelings.... i am somehow...

- what did? Who did? -

posted from Bloggeroid

What does left meant?

All these while, i was saying... i am being left alone. That simply meants, no one is on my side and no one understand me. This includes, no one ever try to understand me. I was left with no support. Everyone opposed me, on every single word i said. That's what i meant by everyone left me alone.
- what does left meant?-

posted from Bloggeroid

Good Samaritan

Today's preaching was about being good samaritan and about loving God and loving people. Today's sermon is preached by bishop john yeo. Sorry to say, i agree totally of the teaching in the bible, but every word the preacher preached, it makes me start judging him. Such a hypocrisy! Speaking of loving God, well.... i am so sure there are so many who is willing to serve God in His church, but the church do set certain rules now governing who can and who cannot serve the Lord. Seriously, i always take the heart and willingness to serve as the primary requirements to serve God, but our church today has become a place where they first pass judgment against people and then, they will see if they will approve you on your 'application'. If you have done wrong once or twice, which means you do not achieve their standard expectation, they will not give you a second chance. There you go, you won't have the chance to servr Him in his church anymore. More so, if you are sick, mentally or physically.... you will be asked to pass your 'duty' to others who is more capable. At least this is what i am being treated now.
In terms of loving people? Well, they will only get along and be with those who are priest, working in the church and those who can financially contributes to the church. I.e., they only love those who can give them tangible support. If you called them for help, i.e., if you really need them to give you mental support, forget about it. They will call you as satan who disturb them in serving their God. They will tell you don't waste time in them, the 20%. They should know how to focus on God themselves. They have better works to do. They won't love you. I have never seem them being with orphans, hugging an orphans or widow, or anyone that's poor. My brother scolded my mom telling her, her rice is too old and not fresh. Asked my mom to cook nice rice for him. Seriously, i have eaten that package of rice with my mom for the past few months and i never complain. By the way, i am the breadwinner for my parents. I can just buy another package, but is that necessary? About loving people, i cannot see this apply by my brother to his parents. I bet my sister in law won't even do the courtesy to bring the grandchildren to visit my parents tomorrow.
For thr past 36 years, i am taught, i apply the teaching of God in my everyday's walk. I love without condition, with lots of hurts and wounds. But i do believe, it is time for others to apply the words of God nd it is time for me to love myself. Yes. I am tired, discouraged and lost focus. Don't just blame that on me though....
- good samaritan-

posted from Bloggeroid

Again?

I just realised i am a very self conscious person. I do check on myself regularly. I admit that i am not always right, but at least i try to learn from mistakes. Hence i always give people second or third chance. Because i know and wish to be given second chance too... especially when i know i was wrong. I hates to hurt others with my words and actions. When i knew i did hurts a few when i started to retaliate, i did check on my emotions and behavious. I knew something is wrong with me. I remember telling dad i wasn't reacting as myself, as if i am controlled by some spirit. I did told him what i did, i told a best friend what i did, etc....and dad told me 'it is me that is wtong'. It is very normal for people to expect a friend telling them she is going to die. Everyone scares.' Dad asked me to continue with seeing docotr and seeking help. Of course, knowing that i will be feeling the worse at night about 7pm to 9pm, he usually call around 8pm to just chat. This happen just about the same time last year.
To be honest, i am glad i seek help and get my sickness treated, even though i have to be very cautious and take control of myself even more these days. Yes, i am still very much needed the medicines because besides the medicines, i don't have anything else to help me to stay alive and healthily at the moment, especially these critical moments. Well, at least, i am in control of myself now. Even though the past 1 year wasn't the case.
Unlike some people i know, whom they do know they need help but refuse to admit that they are sick. Some, they do know they are sick, but they refuse to get treatment. Some, they keep telling others they are healed by God and yet still having problem with their emotions. Some, they lied to others and themselves because of pride. All these people, they lives in their own lies.....they are not only suffering, but they also made others suffer. The most ridiculous thing is, they were telling others how to be witness for God. Goodness, if they cannot even do it themselves... in a family, who are they to tell me that taking medicine is not good? At least i am better than them. Until and unless you acts like a wife, a daughter in law and a mom, whom you should be, i won't respect you of who you are,really.... ! Shame on you!!!
- Again?-

posted from Bloggeroid

It's time to pray like this...

I have made this prayer once in my life and God really listens to my prayer... and now, I guess it is time to pray this prayer again... :  Lord, I need some good friends to be physically around to help me out here.  Grant me some good friends please Lord! 

- It's time to pray like this... - 

Target!

No no no.. it's not about target for this year.  I don't need to set any because God somehow is too powerful and whatever I planned won't work out anyway. So, I don't bother to set any target to achieve this year, except, "stay alive".  Well.... what sorts of target?  Target to achieve during Chinese New Year.  There are certain people I need to meet.  First, I was invited for the first time for the primary schoolmates gathering.  Why first time? Hmm.. I am not someone many likes... hence, I am never invited.  hahaha.. nah.. that's just my thinking.  The fact is, we never have any gathering before and it's so nice of Rev David to think of me. hahaha... Oh, we have the same group of primary school friends by the way. hahahaha... second, I have to meet this brilliant friend who will come back from KL for gathering.  We always end up meeting up each other on the 3rd day evening for meal and my birthday celebration (my chinese birthday is on 4th day) together with her husband who passed away 2 years ago.  We are still keeping that tradition, even without KP.  Third, I am going to meet up with Jestina Foo.  I was shock to met her 2 weeks ago.  Wow.. someone probably who have the guts to pin point me of my weaknesses.  The most famous phrase she uses against me is "Emo". hehehe.. Yes. I am always EMO since young. That's Pei San in general. Forth, I need to meet up with my cousins from HK ... heard they bought me a gift from Taiwan... hmm.. and I am going to snap a few more photos of Ellie, my dear little niece.  Fifth, I need to set up a video conference for everyone across the world to meet my dad. I hope internet is good enough, and I don't need to put my pocket router outside the house. hahahaha...  Seventh,  I need to meet up with 2 of my crazy friends to get ang pao from them.... hahaha.. no lah no lah... one of they helped me to get the new notes from bank, i need to get it from them. hehehe...  Everything is so handy in Tawau.  Just a call away, and things will be sorted. Nice! 

So, that's about it... Now, ... what to bring back to Tawau? hehehe... 

- Target! - 

Witnessing for God?

Hmm... it's a good sunday ... with good sermon.  Glad that my brother was preaching again.. otherwise, I don't think i can 'connect' to this powerful message at all... well, ... i heard the other preacher from the hakka service was just talking about sharing gospel by words... and not by actions.... he had not been giving us any good impression since 2 months ago.. and we all know all he does was just 'talk' and not 'doing'.  That's the main thing that pissed me off.  Remember when my dad was hospitalised, and a group of brothers and sisters who were really loving and caring... they even set up a fund to help us out.  They have come up with taking turns to help my mom with changing diapers and all... and they have even gave us financial support knowing that I was without job, etc.  They have even offered to send and pick me up from airport, etc.  Well, in general, all that we needed, they provided.  Church somehow felt jealous about it and they started to 'step in' when they realised and came to know that a group of friends were financially supporting us.  They were not happy about and they told those 'friends of my dad' that what they did was not proper and they want to take over the 'task'.  So, whoever wants to give us monthly support, they should pass all the money to the church and the church will pass it to my mother.  Seriously, I do not know the amount until today because I don't really care much and it's for my parents, not me.  But why church needs to do that?  Well, still, we do have a few others who came to our home and gave my parents gifts from their heart directly.  I must says, I appreciate all these a lot.  At least, it helped me in many ways, supporting my parents financially and physically.  It's hard work because we expected the worse and yet, God let him lives and he somehow gets better each day.  Why did I said on FB one time that priest and drs are the most heartless people on earth?  Well, they have seen too many people die.  Seriously, if you ask me, attended funeral more than marriage ceremony.  Everyone can be my witness because everytime my dad goes for funeral, there where I was... I follows him, to learn how to be compassion, how to comforts others, how to give support to the family, etc.  That's probably born in me, I don't know.  I only know I cares a lot of how others feel ... more than what I feel.  Dad taught me to love others more than ourselves through what he did.  He gave despite the fact that he has nothing else to give.  He provides, he always be the peace maker, he solves problems, he listens, he gives, he always 'be there' for others.  That's make me being so sure, what 'being witness for Christ' truly mean.  

When I came to KK and he knows I am settle down in Christ Church Likas, he knows... I was there to give and not to receive because basically, the church has nothing to offer to me.  I will end up with lots of complains and complains.  From the first Alpha meeting, to the first caroling.. etc.  You can ask my parents how much I complain about... and the amazing 10 people youth.. which is even less than a cell group, it took me a long long time to accept the fact.  From the moment my umbrella was stolen from the church, goodness.. i already label this church as .... "a thief dam". There's nothing edifying from this church.  I must say, if it is not because of my love for God, I would have left long long time ago.  It's God's love that pushed me to push forward, to do MORE for the church. 

But when every single time after I sacrificed and GAVE out to the Lord, the people keep stabbing with and wanted to kill me... you know what exactly persecution is... not from non-christian, but from your beloved brothers and sisters in Christ.  Each time I felt so 'dead' after each PCC meeting and I realised, this church can't be helped anymore.  

God's witness? It's not just about words or sharing.  It's about action... John Sung didn't just PREACH and SHARE the gospel in China.  He turned himself as a Chinese man, speak the language, lives the life of a Chinese in order to 'share' the gospel.  He ACTS, he was there, as witness for Christ that His love is great! 

During the most difficult time in my life, I only heard people telling me, "we do love you".  But what was acted out from the statement was completely difference.  There's no action, no messages, no communication, nothing... all I knew was I was de-friended from FB, being cut off from their groups, being completely forgotten.  The church and the people in this church... is merely trying to lives their life according to their own ways, not being witness for God.  

I am very much disappointed.  Very disappointed especially on those whom always said they are the BEST ... they are the most LOVING people ... ! 

Bishop Vun told me "You know I love your dad.  But I really pray that God will take Him back.  His condition is not glorifying God".  Really? Which part is not glorifying? Now you are the JUDGE is it? Sorry to say, I am disappointed.  Very disappointed.  Oh, that was spoken during Faith Revival time, sometime in May 2011 right?  I am speechless really.... Are we God's witness? Yes.  I am no longer His' witness... but before you judge me.  Examine yourself and see if you are one.  

- Witnessing for God? -

Interesting!

Many had called and told me they are so jealous with my life. Simply because i can do anything i like any time i like... without a schedule. I don't have to follow anyone's schedule and needs.... and with no neighbour yet, i can actually put on hi-fi to the maximum. Looks like i really enjoy myself...! The only thing is, the security guards are checking on me every night... just make sure i don't jump off the building.... well, i should have done it successfully the first time. Hahaha.... anyway.... i am enjoying the last bit of my life, that's it!
- interesting-

posted from Bloggeroid

Excitement!

It has been for a long long while now that i haven't been having the sense of excitement. I was telling many for the past years that i have no sense of excitement.... 2 weeks ago, my nephew and niece came to visit me, they walked straight to my car and said good bye to their parents and insisted to accompany me that afternoon after we all had lunch. They obviously gave their parents a shock! Well, i had a great great time with them... and after a series of challenge we had on wii, i promsed them i'll bring them to the play ground and to the lake. We did.... but they were not excited because they have seem many better one in England, in Paris, etc. My newphew told me, my playground is nothing and he made a hand gesture that it's really means NOTHING. Well, i brought them to the lake and they both told me, the lake is dirty and the fishes are not big enough.... in a way, those gave them no excitement....
Yes, i probably had gone through too much too early and therefore i find no excitement for anything you probably feel excited about. Throughout my life, i have had experienced many things, circumstances, feelings, obstacles, successes, failure, etc. more than anyone else. At least, i still have more experiences that no one has ever experienced before....
Tomorrow, i am going to experience something i have yet to experience before. I am being subpoena by the court in Shah Alam to attend court and give testimony and to produce documents in support of my testimony. I have been to court many times, conducting a trial, calling my witness, asked my questions, etc.... but i have never been called as a witness. Somehow, this gives me sense of excitement...., something new....!
This excitement and experience is so fresh and new in my life,much better than being pushed into an operating theater .... , or flying to somewhere alone, by myself or exam being called off because of bomb, or lost my cargos... being diagnosed with sickness....etc. somehow,i am excited about tomorrow...
- excited-

posted from Bloggeroid

Marriage

" Wow.... court is quite full today..." A statement i made this morning in front of a senior lawyer... and she said "today is friday... they are all here for their divorce petition". I turned my head and i saw someone very familiar walked in and she was shock to found me sitting in the court room... i asked her a stupid question "what matter do you have in here today?" Hoping the answer she gives can be something like, being a witness for a patient, etc..., but unfortunately, with hesitation, she told me she's there for divorce.
How much does a marriage cost these days i wonder.... it used to cost you a life time committment...but now, it can only last for days or 2 years...only. The senior lawyer later told me that divorcing someone or marrying someone for a year or two is just fine. Even her, she told me she advised her children to just go for marriage for temporary satisfaction. After all, to satisfy the thirst for sex should be the ultimate focus, more so if there's any other 'benefits' by getting married. After all, divorce is such a simple process and it only cost RM3k to 4k. That's how much it cost for a marriage.
The doctor i bumped into was borned on the 29 January 1977. She is a professional.... pretty, smart,nice... kadazan.. local.... and believe the moment she announced to everyone that she's getting married few years ago, it's like the best moment in her life, being loved, feeling good...excited, nice, happy, etcetc....she probably used a few months or years preparing for the big day...on the wedding day, it must be the best day in her life... with hiring the best photographer in the world, with best arrangement for everything, etc.... and now, just in few minutes time, your application for divorce was before a high court judge and he gives you order in terms on your application to divorce. Which one leaves them with stronger impact or memories? Marriage? Divorce?
My question is, what does marriage means these days and what is it foundation base on? Feeling? Or love? Or desire? Pride or happiness? Where is God in your marriage life? Is there God in the first place? Or just selfishness or self desire and self satisfaction?
Seriously, i am very sad to know someone i know got divorce today.. relationship can be so selfish and so meaningless these days...
- marriage-

posted from Bloggeroid

Birthday Present!

Ah... I have been always think for others.  For the past few years, I have been spending money, time and all for others, for their spiritual growth, for helping the church, for helping people, etc. etc. and yet, all I got when I was needed help was silence and silence and ignorance and neglects and being pushed away.  So, this year... I am doing everything for myself.  Refused to take up cases if deposit not paid first, refused to pay up money or fees for poor workmanship and wrong design (I am can even ask them to take everything off if i want to) and I have bought myself a Christmas present (Canon 7D) and now, I am getting myself a birthday present (Peugeot 207SV).  Why think for others? Seriously.... I have learned this... that I shouldn't think for others.  If they do not have the money to sue and the time is running out, just tell them forget it ... i will only do when money is in.  Yes.  I am taught to be realistic and rational.  No point being nice to others and at the end, I am the one suffering from depression.  Yes, there's this client that still owe me RM30,000.00 and I so wanted to sue him ... but my ex-boss disallow me to and I am seriously wonder WHY? And I am holding this client's RM400,000.00 now without releasing it to anyone including his bank for a reason, until and unless he PAY MY BILL!  Well, he did shout at me, but so what?  Last week, I even scolded 2 agents who refused to pay up a con man, yes, he was trying to threaten me with his action, but I still not giving in.  I will remain not being 'used' and I am not paying him back what he has paid me.  He can file a suit against me .. by all mean, go ahead. I am not the previous nice, easy to bullied Pei San.  I have changed after a year, to be a dragon woken up from the sleep. So, beware.... If you think you can take advantage over me, ... it's impossible.  I will only suck out all your money and take advantage on others.  It's revenge time... it's playing smart time. 

Well, it's time to finally give myself something I will enjoy and happy about.... a new car... while my little blue, will go back to Tawau to serve my Mom.... and Dad! Yoohoo....!!!  Little blue is ROCK!!!!

- Birthday Present! - 

A Great Christmas Story

A Great Christmas Story

 The old man sat in his gas station on a cold Christmas Eve. He hadn't been anywhere in years since his wife had passed away. It was just another day to him. He didn't hate Christmas, just couldn't find a reason to celebrate. He was sitting there looking at the snow that had been falling for the last hour and wondering what it was all about when the door opened and a homeless man stepped through.

Instead of throwing the man out, Old George as he was known by his customers, told the man to come and sit by the heater and warm up. "Thank you, but I don't mean to intrude," said the stranger. "I see you're busy, I'll just go."

"Not without something hot in your belly." George said.

He turned and opened a wide mouth Thermos and handed it to the stranger. "It ain't much, but it's hot and tasty. Stew ... Made it myself. When you're done, there's coffee and it's fresh."

Just at that moment he heard the "ding" of the driveway bell. "Excuse me, be right back," George said. There in the driveway was an old '53 Chevy. Steam was rolling out of the front.. The driver was panicked. "Mister can you help me!" said the driver, with a deep Spanish accent. "My wife is with child and my car is broken." George opened the hood. It was bad. The block looked cracked from the cold, the car was dead.

"You ain't going in this thing," George said as he turned away.

"But Mister, please help ..." The door of the office closed behind George as he went inside. He went to the office wall and got the keys to his old truck, and went back outside. He walked around the building, opened the garage, started the truck and drove it around to where the couple was waiting. "Here, take my truck," he said. "She ain't the best thing you ever looked at, but she runs real good."

George helped put the woman in the truck and watched as it sped off into the night. He turned and walked back inside the office. "Glad I gave 'em the truck, their tires were shot too. That 'ol truck has brand new ." George thought he was talking to the stranger, but the man had gone. The Thermos was on the desk, empty, with a used coffee cup beside it. "Well, at least he got something in his belly," George thought.

George went back outside to see if the old Chevy would start. It cranked slowly, but it started. He pulled it into the garage where the truck had been. He thought he would tinker with it for something to do. Christmas Eve meant no customers. He discovered the the block hadn't cracked, it was just the bottom hose on the radiator. "Well, shoot, I can fix this," he said to himself. So he put a new one on.

"Those tires ain't gonna get 'em through the winter either." He took the snow treads off of his wife's old Lincoln. They were like new and he wasn't going to drive the car anyway.

As he was working, he heard shots being fired. He ran outside and beside a police car an officer lay on the cold ground. Bleeding from the left shoulder, the officer moaned, "Please help me."

George helped the officer inside as he remembered the training he had received in the Army as a medic. He knew the wound needed attention. "Pressure to stop the bleeding," he thought. The uniform company had been there that morning and had left clean shop towels. He used those and duct tape to bind the wound. "Hey, they say duct tape can fix anythin'," he said, trying to make the policeman feel at ease.

"Something for pain," George thought. All he had was the pills he used for his back. "These ought to work." He put some water in a cup and gave the policeman the pills. "You hang in there, I'm going to get you an ambulance."

The phone was dead. "Maybe I can get one of your buddies on that there talk box out in your car." He went out only to find that a bullet had gone into the dashboard destroying the two way radio.

He went back in to find the policeman sitting up. "Thanks," said the officer. "You could have left me there. The guy that shot me is still in the area."

George sat down beside him, "I would never leave an injured man in the Army and I ain't gonna leave you." George pulled back the bandage to check for bleeding. "Looks worse than what it is. Bullet passed right through 'ya. Good thing it missed the important stuff though. I think with time your gonna be right as rain."

George got up and poured a cup of coffee. "How do you take it?" he asked.

"None for me," said the officer..

"Oh, yer gonna drink this.  Best in the city. Too bad I ain't got no donuts." The officer laughed and winced at the same time.

The front door of the office flew open. In burst a young man with a gun. "Give me all your cash! Do it now!" the young man yelled. His hand was shaking and George could tell that he had never done anything like this before.

"That's the guy that shot me!" exclaimed the officer.

"Son, why are you doing this?" asked George, "You need to put the cannon away. Somebody else might get hurt."

The young man was confused. "Shut up old man, or I'll shoot you, too. Now give me the cash!"

The cop was reaching for his gun. "Put that thing away," George said to the cop, "we got one too many in here now."

He turned his attention to the young man. "Son, it's Christmas Eve. If you need money, well then, here. It ain't much but it's all I got. Now put that pea shooter away."

George pulled $150 out of his pocket and handed it to the young man, reaching for the barrel of the gun at the same time. The young man released his grip on the gun, fell to his knees and began to cry. "I'm not very good at this am I? All I wanted was to buy something for my wife and son," he went on. "I've lost my job, my rent is due, my car got repossessed last week."

George handed the gun to the cop. "Son, we all get in a bit of squeeze now and then. The road gets hard sometimes, but we make it through the best we can."

He got the young man to his feet, and sat him down on a chair across from the cop. "Sometimes we do stupid things." George handed the young man a cup of coffee. "Bein' stupid is one of the things that makes us human. Comin' in here with a gun ain't the answer. Now sit there and get warm and we'll sort this thing out."

The young man had stopped crying. He looked over to the cop. "Sorry I shot you. It just went off. I'm sorry officer."

"Shut up and drink your coffee " the cop said.

George could hear the sounds of sirens outside. A police car and an ambulance skidded to a halt. Two cops came through the door, guns drawn. "Chuck! You ok?" one of the cops asked the wounded officer.

"Not bad for a guy who took a bullet. How did you find me?"

"GPS locator in the car. Best thing since sliced bread. Who did this?" the other cop asked as he approached the young man.

Chuck answered him, "I don't know. The guy ran off into the dark. Just dropped his gun and ran."

George and the young man both looked puzzled at each other.

"That guy work here?" the wounded cop continued.

"Yep,"  George said, "just hired him this morning. Boy lost his job."

The paramedics came in and loaded Chuck onto the stretcher. The young man leaned over the wounded cop and whispered, "Why?"

Chuck just said, "Merry Christmas boy ... and you too, George, and thanks for everything."

"Well, looks like you got one doozy of a break there. That ought to solve some of your problems."

George went into the back room and came out with a box. He pulled out a ring box. "Here you go, something for the little woman. I don't think Martha would mind. She said it would come in handy some day."

The young man looked inside to see the biggest diamond ring he ever saw. "I can't take this," said the young man. "It means something to you."

"And now it means something to you," replied George. "I got my memories. That's all I need."

George reached into the box again. An airplane, a car and a truck appeared next. They were toys that the oil company had left for him to sell. "Here's something for that little man of yours."

The young man began to cry again as he handed back the $150 that the old man had handed him earlier.

"And what are you supposed to buy Christmas dinner with? You keep that too," George said. "Now git home to your family."

The young man turned with tears streaming down his face. "I'll be here in the morning for work, if that job offer is still good."

"Nope. I'm closed Christmas day," George said. "See ya the day after."

George turned around to find that the stranger had returned. "Where'd you come from? I thought you left?"

"I have been here. I have always been here," said the stranger. "You say you don't celebrate Christmas. Why?"

"Well, after my wife passed away, I just couldn't see what all the bother was. Puttin' up a tree and all seemed a waste of a good pine tree. Bakin' cookies like I used to with Martha just wasn't the same by myself and besides I was gettin' a little chubby."

The stranger put his hand on George's shoulder. "But you do celebrate the holiday, George. You gave me food and drink and warmed me when I was cold and hungry. The woman with child will bear a son and he will become a great doctor.

The policeman you helped will go on to save 19 people from being killed by terrorists. The young man who tried to rob you will make you a rich man and not take any for himself. "That is the spirit of the season and you keep it as good as any man."

George was taken aback by all this stranger had said. "And how do you know all this?" asked the old man.

"Trust me, George. I have the inside track on this sort of thing. And when your days are done you will be with Martha again."

The stranger moved toward the door. "If you will excuse me, George, I have to go now. I have to go home where there is a big celebration planned."

George watched as the old leather jacket and the torn pants that the stranger was wearing turned into a white robe. A golden light began to fill the room.

"You see, George ... it's My birthday. Merry Christmas."

George fell to his knees and replied, "Happy Birthday, Lord Jesus"

The beginning....

I have decided that i will put everything in 2011 behind me and start a new life and journey in 2012.  After a 6 months test on the running of the firm, i know God wants me to continue running the firm myself even though i have to worry about getting income, lets not mention about profit. My aim remains as "blessing others through what i do". To run my own firm is also mean i am controlling the amount of stress i might not be able to take anymore. i.e, i rather pay someone to attend cour for me if i am too worry about that. For church, regardless of whatevef issues, i am doing whatever that i feel comfortable with, i.e., doesn't care much about the consequences and all.  For people that i have lost, i am putting a full stop in trying to gain them back. Efforts made and that's it. Wish them well and clean the dust of my shoes and leave. i have made myself return to ME after one year ... (that's the deadline i gave myself anyway). On the first day of 2012, it marks the new beginning, the new challenge ahead and the new breakthrough in life....with God. This year, my only resolution is, be nice to myself, enjoy life to the fullest and breakthrough in the journey with God!

- The beginning-