Who have come along in helping me until today? These people have not been around in the beginning, but they have tried very hard in making sure I don't do something stupid, and to help whenever they can and available.
(1) Thomas C (Ranau), for being around for months with not knowing my condition and stick around after he knows of my condition. His full support in being presence and to take care out of love, is undeniable and really encouraging. Being understanding, listening and don't do anything in purpose or extra to make me feel uncomfortable. At least, he has not trying to avoid me purposely or to do anything extra. Being normal has somehow helped and make me feel I am 'normal'. Taking some time to come down to help me with certain things, to seek help from me, to go taking photographs, etc... simply make me feel that I am normal and I am who I am. I really appreciate all these.
(2) C.Yen Li, for realising what I am facing even thought she's in KL and we have not contacted each other more than once a year. She stepped in to care, especially after knowing my dad's condition, etc. She managed to identified my sickness through one sms conversation, for not been avoiding me like I have a deadly disease, but took time off and spend and help me with ikea shopping, let me disturb her peaceful family time and busy schedules and open her phone line for 24 hours for me. With all the worries I caused her (the most serious time, I had 24 missed calls), she didn't even scolded or anything but keep on, not giving up on me. That makes me not to give up of myself. Such encouragement, I really appreciate.
(3) Anne and Sarah C, for being around since day one and still around, trying very hard to help me to 'retrieve' myself back. Telling me what I like to do, telling me what will help, telling me I can always call them or count them on whenever I need it, be it they are in HK or in Melbourne.
(4) Stephanie Liang, without knowing my condition (not sure if she knows, I have never tell her) for not giving up on me even thought i shouted at her once or twice. She still made herself available IMMEDIATELY, be it for basketball, for lunch or for dinner, etc. Even though I can't share much with her, but she stick around, being a great company. Always asked me how is my dad's doing, etc. That kind of care, I am encouraged and feel loved.
(5) Vivienne Y, for always being around to care, to give advice, to help. She is the only one i can count on in worse time in life. Her advice and care something divert my attention completely from killing myself. All she did was to sms me, occasionally... not a lot though. Whenever I met her, she has acted normal and she is accepting me as who I am, despite the sickness, the suicidal thoughts once or twice I told her about. I feel accepted and I feel normal.
(6) Yien Loong, I must have prayed hard enough that God at the end sent an OLD friend back to KK since July last year. She has accepted me as who I am and she has confirmed that I am normal and more than normal. She has been my guidance on what is right and wrong in my thinking and thoughts. With her asking for help as tour guides, etc for her is new in KK, makes me to have diverted my concentration on works more. I am glad she has been a good friend and good company. Not only her, her whole family, including all her uncles, aunties, etc... all are very supportive to me. I won't run out of food, or support. Everyone in the family is just there, whenever I need. I am loved!
(7) Jonathan, David, Auntie Nyet Choo, uncle John P, for providing and supporting me financially, for loving me unconditionally, for making times to understand my condition and to understand what I am going through. For loving my parents. Giving me the full mental supports are the best!
(8) For Oi Shong, for still loving me of who I am, for loving me despite all the worries I caused. Treating me, honouring me still despite I told her what did I do and how bad I can turned myself into, etc. She has been giving me lots of mental support, financial back up whenever I needed, advices, guidance, ... etc. Believing in me, listening to me at all time.
(9) Ching Tshui, for being 'around' even though she is in Singapore. 'Reading' my blogs/thoughts and trying to understand me and trying to give me mental support until today...
(10) Lucie Liwanpo and Jessie, for giving me financial support for the 6 months of no income and extra expenses.
(11) my spiritual children, for remembering me and to treasure me still.
(12) Eric, for spending new year eve with me, and being around to 'protect' me from the crowd. Your presence once in a while in this town somehow has given me something to look forward to.
(13) my dearest mom, for loving me unconditionally... believing in me than all the rumous, etc. Always stand by my side.
(14) my dearest dad, for being around to see me through these. For suffering stroke just for me. (This, can only be understood by him and me alone, and God of course). That has somehow shows me how much my dad loves me. Thank you, dad.
I am glad some people come around to help and to encourage and to love, there are some which gave up half way. I don't blame them for giving up on me. To them, I nothing in their life. I am now treating them the same way they did it on me. I know this is what they wants me to. For those who treasure me and support me and stand besides me and encourage me, I sincerely want to thank you for your efforts made. I love all. Thank you for being 'around' and stand by me, believing in me.
For those who keep telling me my expectation is too high for them to achieve, I can tell you, you are wrong. All I need is just a simple acceptance from you, not being neglects, not being excluded, not being opposed to. I only ask that you will accept me of who I am. I know I have done many wrongs... so are you. But I have forgave everything you all did... but I know you have not. Your call... I am accountable to God after all.
- Who did? -
No comments:
Post a Comment