Ended!

Yup! Guess it is time for those who wish and waiting for this outcome to arrive to celebrate their victory. I am sure they are proud of what they have done. All I have to say is, "well done". You got what you want and wish to. There won't be me around to disturb your life anymore and I know you are happy with your life without me.

For those who has sacrifies time and hard work for the past few months, thanks... but I guess the hurt is too huge and your sacrifies and hard work is in vain. I am sorry.... looks like God and your hard work somehow is not effective after all.

-Ended! -

Next step...

It has been for months now that the thoughts of sending in complains to JKNS and the Daily Express on breaching confidentiality by a doctor and a pharmacist was in me and my good doctor told me, may be I do not want to do that when my mood picks up. But I guess, he was wrong. My mood did picked up but the better my mood is, the better I feel like doing it and so, I have decided to do it. After all, they doesn't seems to feel regret of what they did and they think what they did is correct. So, I guess, they should learn the lesson.

I am sure, people that will get involved for the investigation will includes the doctor's parents, some church members, one or two of the priests and pastors and also the Bishop. Well, only if thing goes that far and I am sure, for Daily express hotline, I will have to put in the full story and coverage to includes all of them in the said 'story'.

The write up and letters are prepared. Schedule to released to the relevant party tomorrow. I am excited. Am I getting insane? Well, didn't I tell you I gave up few days ago? So, what's the 'problem'? right? After all, this is what they have been waiting for and that's what they want to happen to me isn't it? Not to be recovered and to give up and to be insane and kill myself? Well, let it be their ways then... They win! I just want to do one last thing I wish to do in this world, that's it. :)

- next step ... -

I gave up!

For many months now that I was having the thoughts of giving up and only recently, I declare that I truly gave up. Don't get me wrong, it's not me who gave up first. I only make this decision after months of being gave up by God, church, friends and people arounds me. If you are one of them and this is what you wish to see and get, you have it your way. I can tell you now that I gave up on you because you gave up on me months ago for few months now. It's not a short time trying to fight not to give up, but I guess, I am encouraged somehow by you all to give up. So, I do. I gave up! I hope you are proud to have done this to me.

- I gave up! -

Best week of the year!

No no no... it's not that I have won a lottery nor earned a million this week. It's not I found a lover or having some friends around. None of those make me having the best week of the year. The best week of the year is made out by me found myself. What does that mean? Haha.... well, only those have lost all those important things and people in the world will understand what it means when he/she found themselves again after all the losses. This is the second time I lost 'everything' in my life. Compare to the previous one, this one is worse as the previous one was lost of possessions and my past, but this time, I lost people, health, friends, parent, myself, career and all.

It's the best week of the year because I have make it a point that all that I lost shall end. I am glad to have some friends who tried very hard to get me out from the apartment, to try to cope with me, to suffer the terror of waited at the airport for one hour plus, to suffer my last minutes cancellation of meeting and fellowship, etc. Your patience is amazing. For those who left me when things first started, you have shown me you are not needed in my life and you have put all the efforts to make sure I stop bothering you, you have it your way now. I appreciate your efforts for telling me I am not wanted in your life and you want to get rid of me. I appreciate the truth you told me all these months. You have it your way now and so, you can now stay away from my life forever...

It's a week that I found satisfaction of living once again. The regaining life with the 'bad sectors' feeling is... amazing!

- Best week of the year! -

Exhausted but satisfied

It has been for so long that I have not been feeling so exhausted because of work before. Travelling, drafting, meeting clients (including attending people who are not our clients), arranging things in the office, attending courts, researching, etc... and it has not stopped. Glad that I am asked for dinner tonight. Otherwise, I think bread would be my best company tonight.

I am exhausted but satisfied!

- Exhausted but satisfied! -

1st programme of the month is over...

Wow... it's an interesting weekend. I attended a conference that cost about RM3,200.00 just over the weekend. It's very informative and I have learned so much about arbitration. The best part is that I get to talked to a lots of the registered arbitrators about how successful West Malaysia in doing this and how Sabah should do it together with the west Malaysia lawyers, etc. This is something very new in Sabah, but the law itself is not new. I gets to look at different countries across asia pacific of how things goes at their countries... learned so much.

Well, I managed to meet those truely good friends and get to go to the bookstore. I gets to eat what I wanted to eat and even thought the check in counter was closed when I reached airport, God has somehow moved the hearts of 2 very nice man to helped me out.... it's a smooth, wonderful, adventerous and fruitful trip indeed, even though it's only last 3 days... and I am exhausted.

All tickets to China was purchased over the weekend as well and I am glad, I managed to took a good deal of the tickets ... nice... this week's plan is to finish up the loan application and sale and purchase for my own case. That reminds me how wonderful God is, a brother in Christ and in law has given me a good deal of the loan legal documentations too...

Alright, I must admit, God exist and He is rock!

- 1st programme of the month is over .... -

Looking forward....

I have to set myself some goals in order for myself to feel that I am of such worthiness... and so, this month is sorts of full with something to look forward to. I hope by the time I get back to the office on the 7th, accounts and all shall be sorted out and of course, the arrangement in the office, including the arrivals of new chairs and computer. On the 8th, I will be on my way to the Asia Pacific Region Arbitration Conference in KL (by invitation). When I get back, that week will be a busy week for me to attend some courts and also to sort out the accounts for the office. Thereafter, a mission trip is confirmed ... at the end of the month. I guess, this month is full of something to look forward to.

As I am making progress and getting 'better', everything can be handle just so simple. Many people thinks weird why I needed some company and seems so dependent lately. Well, to be honest, it shock me too and that was just not me at all. For the past 20 over years, I have been living independently and alone and I always enjoyed being alone. There's no way, I am feeling otherwise just these few months (probably for years now). It's weird. I foudn it weird and something not of an ordinary. Since I am getting back to that 'track' now, I am seriously feeling I am back. I am not 'chain' by things and people arounds me anymore. I can just do what I want to. The feeling is great! I am once again feeling the 'freedom' I used to felt....

I am seriously looking forward for everyday of this month to come my way... and I will definately enjoying it ... to the full!

- Looking forward ... -

New Start...

I set today as a new start of my life months ago and so, when yesterday was ended with watching Transformer, today, it started with waking up late and great breakfast with a good friend. Thereafter, it's sorting out some office works as I will only be back to KK next Thursday. It's a transition period for everyone in the office as I will only retain one of my colleague and so, as a boss, I have made some arrangement. I have made the extra room as filing room. Moved the table and chair at the LA room to downstairs, to be used by my colleague. Bought some furnitures and trying to make sure, the office is 'active'. I am thinking of doing some painting on the office soon and to make a signboard with clearer address. I pushed everyone to work very hard in the office to make sure the office is running smoothly. The "bossy" me has came out once again to make sure things are in order.

After all the moving and running around, finally I got home around 6 something and I started to get ready to meet my brother and his family. They arrived around 8pm and we went for some grocery shopping (bought the kids some biscuits and breakfast) and brought them for dinner. It's a great night. Today, marked the first day of a new chapter of life in my life. Every 'bad' things seems gone... and I proclaimed that, everything which was 'bad', be restored as 'good' from now.

It's going to be a tough 6 months, but... I am willing, so willing to try it up. Unless God says stop, otherwise, I will be continue with what I am doing....

- New Start... -