Stranger?

I wonder how everyone reacts towards meeting someone you do not know for the first time. Strangely, I reacted differently when it comes to different kind of stranger. If the stranger is a client whom I have never met before this, ... I reacted quite naturally, talked to him/her and I manage to start a few topics to make sure they feel comfortable while talking to me. When it comes to people I meet for the first time in church, most of the time, I reacted quite ok with it, but it all depends on whether the person is willing to open up and talk. But I tend to react very 'weirdly' or 'strangely' around close friends of those whom I am close to, which I have never met before. Yup... I feel somewhat... not comfortable with people like that, as if my life is in danger. Ya, insecure you might want to put it. Worse still, when the close friends keep talking to my friends and they made me feel like I am not welcome. There's a few occasions, where such situations happen and I have to excuse myself silently and retrieve to my 'comfort zone'.... to my own car, sit there and play games, .... or walked away from them and stand somewhere, trying to get myself busy and all....

Well, .... I always thought it is something WRONG with me...(my mom always told me I love to be in my own world and doesn't like to be with people) and I started to do some examination on myself by meeting strangers...................MORE! I have no problem when it comes to getting along with new bosses, getting along with new colleagues, getting along with new students.... new comer in church, etc.... and I started to wonder.... if it is really me that's wrong or people arounds me that's wrong. hahahahahaha.... Well, ... I guess, we reacted differently when we are to face strangers.... and I happen to be someone how is so not open to meet people who do not sincerely want to meet me and know me (have to say "hi" to me because I am so and so's friends and it is impolite to not to say "hi").

I happen to joined 2 strangers for lunch a while ago and while they were talking, I feel instead of them being stranger to me, that I am a stranger in the table and I am not welcome. OF COURSE I do know they do not mind having me around.... but ... it's that feeling I am saying.. that makes me feel awkward!!!!!

I seriously need to know how to deal with stranger, still. At least from the stage where I don't even dare to go in a shop to buy things myself .... until now, I can go pump petrol myself, it's such an improvement. But I think I need to put more efforts huh?

Ya....

- Stranger? -