When I look at my clock, it's 2 something to 3 in the morning when I quickly shut down my computer and went to bed. ... When I was still in the stage of 'sleeping', I was woke up by a phone call, asking me if I can be the driver for the children cell tomorrow. I was woke up by the phone call and I therefore, being submissive and got up.
There and then, I start cleaning my room. This is really something I never done to this room. I basically put everything outside my room and start cleaning and re-arranging all my things. You are not going to believe how much time I spent to get the Hi-Fi set up to my 'satisfactory' level. I want the sound be good (otherwise, I don't need a Hi-Fi) and I set all the 5 speakers to a very good position and I switch that one and continue my room cleaning and re-arranging. It took me about 6 and a half hours for all these. However, it is satisfying !!!
After all these, I sat down and start reading my bible and do my devotion (yes, I should have done it the first thing in the morning, but I didn't). This passage however, struck my heart so deeply... as it reminded me that, if I expect God to guide me, I should first willing to be submissive.
Of all the things that happen to me for the past few months, I keep on asking God to guide my way, guide me to the path He has planned for me, but did I submit myself? I asked myself the question and to be honest, I think I didn't. "WHAT IF" God asked me to go into full time ministry now, am I willing to go NOW? I started to fear... I fear and feel afraid that I am not walking on the path He planned for me. I scare that I am using my own understadig in finding 'the path'. Am I? If I am, I am a doom...!!!
At about 5pm, after all these, I went out with 3 friends for a fellowship. I had the most expensive meal I ever had for the past 5 months. hahaha... but it's a good one!!!
- fulfilling -
No comments:
Post a Comment