<2 days>

Oh NO!!!! I missed yesterday's opportunity to publish something on this blog. Erg... must be too busy with something. Well... let me tell you what happen yesterday...

In the early morning, I came in office thinking I will be very free today as I cleared my work assigned to me the day before yesterday. I was having my peaceful morning until 11am, where my boss called me in and passed a file to me. It's RESEARCH!!! God knows how much I love research... my boss gave me the research and asked me to visit the Court Libruary to get some information. Well, my leg refused..... hahaha.. and ops... my boss is in the court libruary now... hahahaha... Well, not that I didn't do anything. I searched the online engines and now I have about 20 cases to read. OK.. just when the clock turn 12pm, I heard a loud alarm sounded outside the office. I rushed out after my colleague said there's a car crashed to the road blocker and hit the car opposite. Smoke came out from the car, a girl was trying to open the car door and she couldn't. The car locked inside and out. She was in despair... Among 20 + people surrounding the car, one person rushed to his shop nearby, brought out a metal and broke one of the window of the car, open the doors and people start trying to get the driver out. Not long after that, an ambulance came by and rushed the driver to the hospital. Just when I was watching this dramatic circumstances, a friend from KL texted me... telling me that, Air Asia is giving out 200,000 free seats and suggested that I should check that out. Without hesitation, I did and ... I have been trying to log in since then ... but yes... guess the web is sort of congested at the moment... so... still trying.. still trying...!!!

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Right after lunch, I was talking to my parents and I really hate it when they raise the issue of me, not being RICH after a long fight. I hate it because they are not supportive with me going into pupillege and what I am doing. Hmm... as if I don't really want to be rich now. I suffer every moment all these while also. Can't they understand that? I think that's the main reason why didn't I try to discuss my future with them anymore. Yes. I didn't tell them about the offer my current boss is offering for me. And I didn't also tell them my plan of going back to KL to join other firms and not my ex-boss's firm, etc, etc. I think I am just tired talking to them, since they are not being understanding and pressurising. ... well...............that reminded me on what I want to walk away from home 10 years ago. ...

I thought after a long while, I would miss my family and I will be closer to them. But.. NO.. I was wrong. I shouldn't expect so much......it's just so disappointed. Hai... well? .. i am just an alien in this family. ... ghoosh!!! I hate those feeling... I can't deny that they do love me... but I just don't like the 'discourage' and 'disappointed' feelings that they unintentionally transferred it to me... if you know what I mean... well...........although I love them... but I think, to maintain that, living together is not a good idea... I feel that I am closer to them when I stay apart from them... really!!!

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Money....

Sensitive issue all the time. ... I was thinking to join my ex-boss's firm, getting a fix amount of money and spend most of my time serving the Lord, etc... But when I come to think of the issue of money ... I think I better re-consider of going into a "better" firm...

A friend reminded me that it is not easy to be a Godly lawyer and that... has really reminded me of what's the most important thing of my life. I always thought that money is not as important as God and I should serve Him first ... But what I am getting now a day just lead me to change my preceptions on this matter. I am asking myself, shall I just go and work in this law firm that I might cause me to work on Sunday? Didn't I fight not to attend Brickfield because I didn't want to sacrifice my Sunday with the Lord? And after such a fight.. what did I get? Disappointment ... discourages... etc, etc. hai... yes, indeed, it's really not easy to be a Godly lawyer. It's really like asking for "ABC panas".

I really don't like all these feelings...........

- upset, discouraged, disappointed -