Heartbeat!

I wonder if everyone realised we cannot really control our heartbeat.  We are told our heartbeat is normal or abnormal from the way it's beating.  Most of us have a usual heartbeat since young, but not all of us.  Some of us, have a different heartbeat for different things or persons or matters.
I called a friend asked her about some new rules on the Rules of Court 2012.  Simply because I am the only litigation lawyer who has yet to have gotten a copy of the Rules of Court 2012.  Well, I am a bit greedy.  I want a copy that's error-free, that's why and unfortunately, the Sessions Court Rules has yet to be out and hence, we are still expecting some amendment on the Rules. So, yes, I failed to force myself to get a copy, yet.
So, a friend who is in KL asked me why do I sound excited and happy.  I told her I ran out of Pills and I am excited because I am drafting a statement of claim to sue someone.  To her, that's MY heartbeat.  To her colleague, I am destined to be a litigation lawyer.  Whatever that means... that's what they saw, my 'heartbeat'... that's beating fast when it comes to work, to drafting a statement of claim to sue someone or some company.
I used to have this passions, a strong heartbeat to serve God in His church.  That heartbeat somehow stopped when I realised, people or leaders are corrupted in their services and I just find it so difficult to serve with them.  I do not want to be on the same 'road' as they are to be exact.  So, after coping for a few years, I gave up, completely.... That heartbeat stopped!
I went to court yesterday morning and I looked at the music shop next to the court house and suddenly I realised, I have not been playing my guitar for years now.  Sadly, I don't even a a single guitar pick with me anymore.  I used to have at least one in my wallet.  But now, I searched the whole condominium, I couldn't find a single one.  My heartbeat for ministries in church has stopped.
I have met some people whom have known me for many many years and whom has saw my strong heartbeat before lately and they asked me how am I coping with both ministries and going back to Tawau every now and then.  I told them I am not serving in Church anymore. They gave me a very shocked expression, in disbelieve.  Yes.  That's because I have never stop serving Him in His church.  I have always been asking and praying to God that He will give me a ministries and the opportunity to serve Him.  He has been giving me a lots of opportunities, even today. Just in another way.
Many people has different view about serving God.  Some people has stronger heartbeat and some has lesser and some do not have.  My brother has strong heartbeat in certain areas in ministries which I happen to have none on it.  Some people has the desire to walk the road Jesus walked.  I don't. hahaha... Some people has stronger heartbeat for missions... and some don't.
Somehow, not all who look at us know our heartbeat.  When they cannot see our heartbeat, they can't understand which way we are heading to.  They will tell us, we are having an abnormal heartbeat.  But to us, they see it as abnormal because they have made their own 'rules' and 'line' to determine where 'normal' should be.
We gets stronger heartbeat when we fall in love with someone.  And i am having a stronger heartbeat for Jesus, for God, because I am seriously in love with Him alone.
Are you having the same heartbeat i am having or are you having a stronger heartbeat because of anger and dissatisfaction? I choose, not to be bother about anger and dissatisfaction, but continue to be filled by His love.
I hope your heartbeat for God is 'normal'.  If you are not, please aligned your heart.
- Heartbeat! -