Before seeing doctor for second opinion, I was in denial. When I was forced to do it (too bad, I was too honest and to straight and fast in my reply to my dr's questions), I was seriously scare. Was it seeing the neurosurgeon scary? Seriously, he's quite humour but, still, he way he questions me and the way he explained things, he was quite certain the previous neurosurgeon was right and he was right. But to confirmed, he want me to do another MRI scan. Haha.. 2 scans in 1 month... even the radiology department's nurses and drs recognised me and didn't me to sign anything or to change, etc. Was the seeing neurosurgeon, the MRI scan or the seeing the pictures of my brains and nerves that's scares me off the most? hahaha... seriously, it's these few days that's most scarier. Everyday i woke up, first thing I check was, whether I am still alive. Second, I will check if my head is giving me problem. Third, I will have to check whether I have painkiller with me. Which one is harder to cope? Major depression or this? Seriously, major depression, because painkiller can't help. This will eventually be in the stage where painkiller cannot help too, but until then... I am not so worry about it.
Hmm... seriously, what have been in my mind these few days? Trust me, of course whose whom I love the most. I really miss them a lot. I can't stop thinking and missing Van, missing Deb... a lot (wonder if I will see them again before I leave)! And it's depressing, seriously. So, to cope with all these together with depression... ghoosh... it's crazy! Well, I am seeing my parents tomorrow! Yoohoo! I am not so worry about miss them because I see them often... ! Apart from that, it's time going around the world to meet those I miss too. Which one is more difficult? Definitely AFTER knowing the result of the MRI. ARRRGGGGhhhhhhh....!!!!
- Which one is more difficult? -
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