Proof/Evidence!

There's one issue which has been resounding in my mind for many years and it often confuse me.  Everyone told me parents love me but past experiences (my younger days) proves that they love my brother more and because of my 'not so usual' characters, they always gave me the impression that I will bring them shame. Well, at least that's the impression I got.  So, to be able to accept myself of who I am, it is hard. More so, to make other to accept me as who I am. Well, one fact I cannot deny. I cannot change who I am to become someone I wish to be like.  So, since young, I am 'different'. It will be better to be 'different' in a good and acceptable sense.  But I reasoned that the majority do not like me. That's a fact.
So, over the years, whenever someone told me they love me, I know, it won't last long.  For the past few years, it's proven (a lawyer just need convincing evidence to justified certain facts) that even though people said they love me, they don't really love me.  Almost everyone left during the most difficult time of my life.  After that moment went past, people start coming back, asking for 'benefit' when they know what I can offer.  People take advantage of me.  There's always a reason why people call  me, why people ask me for lunch or dinner, etc.  I don't mind the 'sharing'.  Seriously.... because I cannot bring them with me to the grave anyway. After all, I don't need them when I see my Father in heaven.  I will have everything there.  But what I do not like is that, they 'used' my love and heart.  Where were they when I needed one the most? Why do I need them now?
I said Almost all....
For the past few years, I am always reminded of what my dad used to told me once when he realised how and what all the other did to me. He said, "Not EVERYONE.  At least I know there are some who really care and love you here in Tawau. As I can see, Hz always care and love you.  Not everyone left you".  It wasn't an easy 'fact' to accept and I guess it take time.  It's just so difficult to 'reopen' myself to trust that fact again.  I guess love is a life long journey and the package comes with other emotions either, including trust.
It's not an easy task to for me. It's probably easier for me to love others.  But it is definitely not easy for me to be loved.  It's been close to 40 years now that I only saw 'empty promises'.  Shall I trust another promise? I need more evidence to be convinced.
I guess that concluded that why I rather not to interact with people closely these days.... I don't want to listen and believe in another empty promise.
- Proof/Evidence! -