Communication...

For those of you who know me well probably know that I am BAD, VERY BAD in communication. If my mind is clear and sound without tiredness and with a bit of time allocated in a very romantic and quiet place, you probably will get what I mean clearly, precisely, but it still, might not be FULLY. I do not know how to explain it, but yes, my communication is always bad and misleading. I have on various occasions misled people in my communication, especially through email or MSN. I remember the last one has caused 2 parties need to be settled in front of the pastor and conflicts were on for a few months and years between few people. When I think back, it is actually merely because of a word , 'nevermind' or 'suan lah...'. Yes, my bad communication mainly caused by my attitudes of lazy to explain things and people just love to take my answer and manupulate it to whatever they think suits their mind and situation. So, basically, they tried their very best to put a blame on whatever I said. Sometimes, my words may be just a short YES or NO, but people can make it sounds like an "unwilling YES" or "willing NO".

I do know some people really THINK TOO MUCH. Well, .. this group of people, whatever you tell them, they will make it a long story and the story eventually ended in a negative way and not positive way. I am sure you encounter such a person in life. At most time, these group of people hurted themselves instead of others because they twisted their own mind to a think negatively and hurted themselves.

Since I came to Kota Kinabalu in June last year, I am not sure if this is the church's problem or my problem or the society problem, the Sabah's problem or whatever it is.... but I keep on meeting this same group of people be it in work, in church or outside. The worse thing is, I tend to meet this group of people more in church and less outside. I saw them not hurting me of course, but hurting themselves and caused themselves to have problem adjusting their own character, attitudes and emotions. I am sympathetic with them of course, but I do have to admit that, I also failed to communicate with them and this, has caused me discomforts.

I admit that I do have 'the rude' way of speaking at all time. I just seems difficult to lower down myself in talking, explaining things for those who are UNWILLING to listen and learn. See, may be this group of people is always here and they are among the BEST in town and that they think they are the BEST and so, when someone like me challenged their 'ability', they still think they are the best but failed to do the basic which I requested. But yet, they still not willing to listen or learn and get themselves into the HIGHER level. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying all I does is a higher level then their. I am also learning something from them. But because of my humble learning, they keep on having this "I AM THE BEST" attitude in them and that, they refused to change or improve. This communication has of course again FAILED.

I do know one or two who are really good. Whatever he/she doesn't know, he/she just post the question and let those who know the answer answers him/her.

My failure in communication is also caused by understanding. I wouldn't be able to answer a question which require some basic understanding on certain thing. For example, if you do not know a big of the music, whatever I talk in the music way, you wouldn't be able to understand. Another example, you think I am a boss of a law firm but you do not understand why a boss is more busy then the worker. If I tell you there are certain things that only lawyer knows how to do, i.e. drafting of Statement of Claim or do an Affidavit of Defence, althought it is an answer but you still might not get what I mean because your understanding on this field is zero. So yes, there are many times I tried to explain things when someone asked me and sometimes, I just feel 'lazy' to answer because I do know they don't understand anyway. (don't worry, if you have legal issue, I will explain to you very well of your rights). Don't get me wrong, at many times, I do tried to explain, but half way, I just gave up. It's just different level. A friend keep on remind me that, wei, only you read law ok? we don't know anything about it, so you still have to explain. hahaha.. I believe she is right.

A friend just posted me a question of whether I want to go to Nepal a moment ago. I told her, no. I don't want. No money. She then replied me saying, go lah, go lah... well, her reply seems like I PURPOSELY said no to NEPAL. See, I have a burden to go to Nepal ever since I was in England, but going there for travelling seems out of the main purpose. Plus, I really do not have sufficient money to go travelling. But I am just so 'lazy' to explain to her the burden I have but I just want her to know that I Don't want to go. I am sure she thinks that being a lawyer, we earn a lot, but she doesn't know exactly what I am going through. She doesn't really understand what a JOB means to me at this present stage and what kind of things that I am facing NOW in my present situation. And my "NO" is only a short answer and I just so 'lazy' to explain things. So, yes... that's why I said, the misunderstanding in my ways is just because i am 'lazy' to explain things.

For the past few months, I have been suffering from stress, from fear, from uncertainty, from a lot of other things. Whenever people ask "How are you?", my answer would be , OK. I AM FINE. Or when I was busy, I will just tell them, "I am busy lately" or some other similar answers. But actually, no one really gets what I am facing for the past month. No one really understand my situation. Again, I was so 'lazy' to explain things to everyone. Well, as you can guessed, I have caused LOT of conflicts and misunderstanding...

I am still in the midst of learning how to communicate well with people. I am someone who doesn't really know how to speak or talk properly. I have difficulties in explaining things and getting my mind across to others. I think too much, I always have idea in my mind, but I always failed to put it forward to others. And when I failed, I am 'lazy' to explain. So yes, I am weak in this and I do need a little help. To be able to speak properly, I will have to really get my mind clear at all time.

Well, ... me and my bad communication skills.

- communication -