A friend used to tell me that whenever she saw me, she can feel the passion in me. Well, we are talking about passion for the Lord basically. If you know me well, you know that I do not have much passion for anything else, but for the Lord. Due to passion that I have, I always strike my best to serve Him with what I have and slowly, it has builded my committment in His service.
After a worship practice last friday, I overheard a conversation between a member and my leader. Well, he told my leader that he can't make it for next week's practice because he has programme. So, my leader asked her what's his programme and we found out that it is farewell party. To him, as he is an 'influential' type person / very people oriented person, farewel party is VERY IMPORTANT. I understand that, but I can't seems to tolerant the attitude he shown or shall I say, my mind wander all the way to the point of what is his committment.
Last Sunday, we ran through every details before we play on the service. I was once against disturbed by him as he played without his heart. He plays as if he is playing alone and goodness, it truely disturbed the whole team and the congregation as we were obviously not playing in one unity. I question if he really has the passion to play for the Lord.
As a leader for many years, I seldom question anyone's passion for the Lord and how much committment he has for the Lord's services. But this member has truely disturbed me and he really make me think. Well... what should I say? A friend told me that not everyone will be able to 'feel' what I felt. I must have had certain burden into it in order for me to "feel" it. Just like, if you have a burden for the youth, whatever the youth is doing, you will want to know. I guess in a sense, she is right. My heart sore when I know that such a person is serving the Lord in the worship team. He doesn't know the reason why he serve. He is playing for the sake of playing, may be even for his own pride and enjoyment. He doesn't understand. When I thought of that, I can't seems stopping my mind to come out with few methods which might be able to help him and the team to 'upgrade' ourselves.
Well, I do not know what has happen to me for these few weeks. God is certainly speaking to me, but what? There's only one thing I am asking now, that's an opportunity for me to take a break by going for a mission trip. I want to experience something that I have not experienced. May be my eyes will be opened to see different things. But at the same time, when I asked for that, I also tremble because I do need financial support. So ya... I am not sure if I shall put down my firm and go. What do you say, Lord?
- passion? comittment? burden? -
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