I wanted so much to sleep during lunch time but my mind can’t stop thinking on 1) what else to do before I leave 2) who else to meet before I leave 3) Is this sort and how about that one? 4) Should I do this and that? 5) Can I survive next month? 6) Who to contact? 7) Is my apartment pretty? 8) Is my car all right? How about my Cargo(s)? 9) Who is going to carry my guitar for me 10) when should I deliver my bed and so on to my buyers and so on. Yes. I am seriously stressed!!!
I cannot recall when the time I had such fear was. I almost cannot cope with the amount of stress and fear I am facing now. I do not expect anyone would understand my current situation nor I expect anyone to give me a pat on my shoulder because Love, Joy and Peace as I mentioned earlier on exist rarely among those lives in this city.
I wanted so much to have a break. Well, if you do not know, I never have a day of leave. I took 1 year (2000) to do my CLP course. Thereafter in 2001, I worked and study part time at the same time. In 2002 until 2004, I worked in a company with 18 days of leaves, but every year, I took about 1 month unpaid leave together with 18 days of my entitlement for my revision and exams. As a pupil in 2005, I was not entitled for a single day of leave. Until today, I have not taken any single day leave. Ha…!!! Now, I can’t afford to have even a half day leave. My last day will be this Friday and my first day at work is on next Monday, in a totally unfamiliar city. I still remember the last time where I was in such a situation was from my previous company to a law firm. I remember I wanted so much to cry in the office during my first week with the firm. I had so much difficulty handling my own emotions and psychologies. Now, I am entering into a more challenging situation, ie. from a very familiar place to a totally unfamiliar place.
I do not blame those who did not want to help me to get through all these, but I do find it difficult to tolerant those who saw me half dead and still take advantage of me, not to ease their pain, but to make themselves feel more comfortable. For this kind of people, I shall from now on consider them as my ‘pain’ and not friend.
People said only during your difficult times that you will see who is treating you with their heart. I have distinguished well now who is for real and who is not just within a short 4 weeks time. I guess it is time for me to place my ‘pain’ away from my mind. Thank goodness I only have one or two of those ‘pain’, compare to numerous of them who are my friends.
During these few weeks, I thank God for those who helped me to sort out things, to pray for me, to cheers with me, to comfort me, to keep me busy, to spent time with me, to encourage me, to advice me, to educated me, and so on even though you have to ‘sacrifice’ certain thing, time, event just for me. I thank God for you. I know I can count on you when I need help.
For my friends, do continue to pray for me. I need strength to go on. I need strength to move on. I need wisdom to run the business and to co-operate with my partner. I need clients, I need good friends, I need time to serve the Lord and I need good health for all the above. So, yes … Lord, have mercy on me!!!!
Just to keep you posted on the Professional Indemnity Insurance matter. My immediate boss took the step to talked to the management to reduce the sum so that I do not need to reimburse them any further and that’s mean, I still need to pay them, but I do not need to pay another RM500 extra, out of my pocket. Although it didn’t serve the purpose (I still lose my whole month’s wages), but I appreciate what he did. Some of you, I know you joined me in prayer pertaining this matter. So, praise the Lord!!! At the same time, I had a talk with Bar Council and the Insurance Company. They have yet to reply me (I am sure it takes a few months) but I do plan to visit them again tomorrow to check out the progress. I hope a full refund will be given by the Insurance Company. Do continue to join me in prayer.
I cannot recall when the time I had such fear was. I almost cannot cope with the amount of stress and fear I am facing now. I do not expect anyone would understand my current situation nor I expect anyone to give me a pat on my shoulder because Love, Joy and Peace as I mentioned earlier on exist rarely among those lives in this city.
I wanted so much to have a break. Well, if you do not know, I never have a day of leave. I took 1 year (2000) to do my CLP course. Thereafter in 2001, I worked and study part time at the same time. In 2002 until 2004, I worked in a company with 18 days of leaves, but every year, I took about 1 month unpaid leave together with 18 days of my entitlement for my revision and exams. As a pupil in 2005, I was not entitled for a single day of leave. Until today, I have not taken any single day leave. Ha…!!! Now, I can’t afford to have even a half day leave. My last day will be this Friday and my first day at work is on next Monday, in a totally unfamiliar city. I still remember the last time where I was in such a situation was from my previous company to a law firm. I remember I wanted so much to cry in the office during my first week with the firm. I had so much difficulty handling my own emotions and psychologies. Now, I am entering into a more challenging situation, ie. from a very familiar place to a totally unfamiliar place.
I do not blame those who did not want to help me to get through all these, but I do find it difficult to tolerant those who saw me half dead and still take advantage of me, not to ease their pain, but to make themselves feel more comfortable. For this kind of people, I shall from now on consider them as my ‘pain’ and not friend.
People said only during your difficult times that you will see who is treating you with their heart. I have distinguished well now who is for real and who is not just within a short 4 weeks time. I guess it is time for me to place my ‘pain’ away from my mind. Thank goodness I only have one or two of those ‘pain’, compare to numerous of them who are my friends.
During these few weeks, I thank God for those who helped me to sort out things, to pray for me, to cheers with me, to comfort me, to keep me busy, to spent time with me, to encourage me, to advice me, to educated me, and so on even though you have to ‘sacrifice’ certain thing, time, event just for me. I thank God for you. I know I can count on you when I need help.
For my friends, do continue to pray for me. I need strength to go on. I need strength to move on. I need wisdom to run the business and to co-operate with my partner. I need clients, I need good friends, I need time to serve the Lord and I need good health for all the above. So, yes … Lord, have mercy on me!!!!
Just to keep you posted on the Professional Indemnity Insurance matter. My immediate boss took the step to talked to the management to reduce the sum so that I do not need to reimburse them any further and that’s mean, I still need to pay them, but I do not need to pay another RM500 extra, out of my pocket. Although it didn’t serve the purpose (I still lose my whole month’s wages), but I appreciate what he did. Some of you, I know you joined me in prayer pertaining this matter. So, praise the Lord!!! At the same time, I had a talk with Bar Council and the Insurance Company. They have yet to reply me (I am sure it takes a few months) but I do plan to visit them again tomorrow to check out the progress. I hope a full refund will be given by the Insurance Company. Do continue to join me in prayer.
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