Born rich? Born poor?

Ever since I am a boss, since last year... life has been challenging because every month's collection will determine whether I can pay my expenses.  Speaking of expenses, it has been 4x more these days.  Furthermore, I will need to pay for rental, for workers' salaries, etc. etc.  Paying 3 to 4 phone bills, 4 house insurance, house loan, office rental, 3 houses' electricity and water bills, 2 cars, air fares, taxi fares, petrol, and others.  God somehow blessed me so much.  At least there's months where my account nearly came to RM0. But most of the months, it's sufficient and I still have at least RM200 cash.
I walked into court many times, met a few young lawyers who set up their firm on their 1st, or 2nd year of practice and they don't seems like they have the problem I am facing.  They are driving a Merz, a Lexus, a CRV, VW, whatever nice and good car we have in the market.  Their office is nicely renovated, they are wearing branded suits and shoes, carrying a classy leather bag.  All of them looks like a famous and rich lawyer.  I am too a lawyer, who has practice on the 8th year and yet, I struggle every minute and I wonder if there's fairness or justice in this world.  Some lawyer, put on craps all the way ..... and yet, the Court granted them what they ask for.  Innocent people get stuck in the prison and end up paying money to others because of the craps all these lawyers are doing.  The lawyer remain as 'good lawyer' to many because he wins the case, being famous and rich.
It's my life... who need to pay debts/study loan, etc. the moment I graduated.  I don't have a rich dad.  I do not have a dad who is running a business who can back me and my law firm up like others.  I do not have many connection because all my connection are church people, who will 100% not coming to me if they face a problem.  I bought my own car with my saving.  I bought my own house with my own's earning.  And I am still paying debts with no help from parents, from sibling, from friends, from husband.  I can only try harder and harder with my own ability.
For a moment in life, when my ability to think and ability to work was jeopardize by sickness, it really scares the hell lot of me.  I started to think, what happen if one day, I am not dead, but i lost the ability to work at all? Situation will be worse than last year.  No one is going to help me.  Just like last year.  No one is going to pity on me.  What if I am like my dad's condition now where I can't even kill myself? Damn... it scares hell lot of me man. hahaha... It's a fact, no one is going to be around when I face any problem. I need to solve it out myself.  I am not like other who has born rich and can have their family to sustain them financially, emotionally, etc.  But not me.
I can strive harder while I can now. I won't know when I will be paralyzed.
- born rich? born poor? -