I guess.. after the last conversation with mom 2 weeks ago, I didn't manage to call back. Of course, due to the last conversation, I got my parents to worried about me badly. The only thing I remember saying was that I am quite frustrated with works and situation arounds me and that I feel like quitting. Of course, as usual, they did said something not very positive to me, as if I am the one who wanted to be lawyer in the first place, etc. etc. I remember after I failed my CLP the first time, they actually urged me not to continue, and in fact, they urged to look for job instead. Of course, my first job was fun... but I still take the CLP again the next year. After I got my CLP, I was in the midst of deciding if I should quit the company and go for practice. Some of you do remember that I have to let go of my good paid salary and went for a RM1000 pupillege for 8 months... and later an additional 3 months in Sabah. It's not a very encouraging moment I had... someone, I got through all ... and still surviving today.
However, despite all these, now that I am telling the whole world that I am frustrated with works and wish to change professions, of course most of you will think that I am crazy. I too think it's not a very sensible thinking. What's gone wrong in my mind?
Anyway, since the last conversation with my parents 2 weeks ago, I didn't call home, simply because I know I don't like to hear what they are going to say and I do not want to argue with them at the end. I guess, somehow, I got them worried about me (trust me, this rarely happen). Due to that, my dad sms me at about 2pm today, checking if I am doing fine. I sms him back saying I am fine, just that I am a bit busy. He replied asking me to take care.
Well, it proved a friend's sharing yesterday about even though parents angry at you at time and not really happy with the decision you made, still after a while, they will be able to accept it as they do love us.
Seriously, along the whole journey to become lawyer, I shall say... most of my encouragement comes from myself and the Lord instead of my parents and brother. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying they are not supportive at all. They do and in fact, I really thank them for all that they did. But I guess, in terms of encouragement I got, it seldoms comes from them. Eeerr... may be they don't express it ONLY. hahaha...
Anyway... it's really bad of me.. of making my parents worried about me today!!!!
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By the way, Congratulation to Flora and Desmond on your wedding. I know I know... I promised to be there for like a year ago and you have sincerely invited me. So sorry.... last minute, I just couldn't go away. So many things around and with change of new firm, etc... My apologise!!! I promise, your next trip to KK, it's ALL on me.
- bad -
4 comments:
every parents sure will worried the children one...hehe...anyway, pity you oh...from the first time you work at kk at tanjung den until now at centre also you unhappy...pity oh....is better find a job tat can work happily one la...if not whole life working unhappy also not good oh..hehe...will support you...gambateh..
I am happy lah. Just that..i am working as if I need to work, ... hahaha...
cheers buddy.. u hv ur frens here..:) it makes me coming back to ur blog was bcos first, ur preseverance amazed me since i first knew u. ha ha.. second, mutual feelings of wat u hv gone thru. ha ha..
alwiz tot i was kinda like harbouring bitterness towards my life, n how lonely i was walking down d road which i deemed appriopriate for myself.. eh, nobody understand me better than myself rite..
YET, at d same time it is like there's a SWITCH there bside u, waiting for u to LAY your little finger to make things flow easier. ALL U NEED TO DO IS TO GIVE UP WHAT U R DOING NOW.. (N ppl who have never gone thru roller coaster in life based on wat they hv chosen wud never understand how badly i want to PUT MY FINGER THERE.. esp when u r so down, n noone is there.. n sometimes whinning say.. God, just make my life easier a littleeeeeeee bit wil do, just a tat bit..) sometimes, tears wud do d saying for u.. so cham hoh.. hahaha.. human mah...
BUT u always tell urself, just tahan a while more...u can do it.. this is the path u wanna try out no matter wat ppl said. U knew wat's ahead, yet u oso knew right fr d starting point it is not going to b easy. YET U STILL WANNA GO FOR IT. hehehe.. itchy backside.. haha
Cheer up BUDDY! do u see how different d situation has moulded us to b nowadays. u r stronger now, u r much more patient, u r more calm when u r in d hot soup compared to as before, though sometimes we do lotsa whinning.. hey, only human wat..
sometimes, u hope how nice it is if d person u hope wud understand u, said something nice abt ur situation..it is only at d time which u felt onli u urself is wat u hv, to go thru thgs ahead.. makes u realise d things below...
few weeks ago, i found somethg meaningful in a fren's blog.. it says, "I know this is my life and I will be the one charting and walking through it all by myself.." I found it meaningful. Asked my fren where the hell she got this phrase fr..U know wat she answered, "U la.. Got from ur blog.." Hahaha..We laughed so badly. I WROTE IT WHEN I WAS SO DOWN, SO ALONE.. was word of anger n depress, but now it bcomes word in my heart.. change me lots lately...
Wif where i m standing now, i felt as if i hv bcome a small piece of puzzle fitting into d big puzzle map..I realised the refinement process was NEVER STOPPING!
When I looked back, I can only thank God for the footprints in the sand..:)not easy.. but d set of footprint was not ours either..
cheers mate.. :)
I guess the only thing makes me presevere to the END should be... the Love of Christ. Hmm...no one guarantee a life to be easy, more so, it's this life of mine. Same parents, but still my brother's life is easier than mine. So I guess, God loves me more. hahaha...
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