Birthday!

I cannot remember when was the last time I celebrated my own birthday with fun and happiness.  Last year, I remember I can't feel happy at all because my dad was still in critical condition and both my mom and I were just couldn't have our mind focus on anything else.  I was also still sufferred from getting the right medication for myself and with all the being de-friended issues, my heart wasn't even want to lives for another day, what more, to celebrate my birthday? 

This year, somehow is a celebration to me.  I arrived Tawau in the afternoon today.  Fetched by a cancer survivor, we both went for a drink.  When I reached home, I told my dad, 'I am home, dad... and today is my birthday... I survived another year!  I am a winner...' .  He put a smile on his face when he heard that.  Yes.  That's exactly the reason why I celebrated it.  It's a lot of hard work for the past one year.  To survive physically, financially, emotionally.... it's the biggest challenge I ever had in my life.  It's also a best feeing I ever had, to know that I managed to overcame it completely! The hardest time would be a week plus ago I suppose.  After so many months of 'well-ness', i forgot it would come and haunt and tried to destroy me.  I forgot.  I almost lost the battle.  Almost... thank God for pain.. that caused me to pass out completely until the next morning. 

To Mel who tried very hard to make me seek a second opinion, I still stand very firm on my ground.  I am sorry... I know many are trying very hard to push me to get 'better', but, I really don't wish to, ANYMORE.

Set Fui who asked me to make a wish this year so that my wish shall come true.  Haha... She knew me very well.  I never have any wish and she always wish I find a man and get married - knowing that I can't lives without being loved and being taken care of.  I didn't tell her, but my wish is... to be with the Lord soonest possible (I guess everyone knows this? hehe...)

Today can be my last birthday...  no one knows.  Hence I am celebrating it!  Thanks for a bunch of good friends who stand by me all these while and to cheers me up on my birthday eve (due to my return home schedule for cases).  This year, I had 2 cakes.  Both, my favourite chocolate cakes.  Finally, everyone knows I hates cheese cake. hahaha... If I survive another year, let's celebrate again next year!  I promise I will try... as my motto this year is to stay alive!!!

Thank you for those who remember me today.  Thanks for the most dearest one who delivered Caleb on 14th Feb (Malaysia time) to cheers me up.  Well, Caleb wins.... he got all your attention and I am not jealous. hahahaha... :) Thanks for bringing joy and happiness, friends and family.... love you all so much!

- Birthday! -

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