Discomfort!!!

These couples of days, I was suffering some illness and discomfort, physically and emotionally. Physically, I am feeling a bit discomfort of my stomach. It's weird because I have been having a regular meals but still, it haunted me especially on Sunday. Ghoosh....!!! When I got up yesterday morning (Sunday morning), I knew it's not going to be a good day because I started to feel the pain. That sort of pain, it's nothing like a stomachache. It's just discomfort I shall say. So, I dragged myself to the service, play the guitar, listen to the sermon, went for lunch and shopping with friends. Though it's suffering, but I thank God everything is UNDER CONTROL. When I got home, I had really good rest and since I manage to get myself a book to read from Salvation Book Store, it has been of full used.

Emotionally, I am feeling a bit of 'not me' lately. Over what happen to me for the past few weeks, I have understand myself a little bit more. But honestly, the more I know that part of myself, I started not to be able to like it. Hmm.... what am I talking about? A few of you might have know that I am someone who doesn't like to be take care of too much. Or shall I say, I like to have a private life? or shall I say, I need a private life? Or may be I just like to have my own private time alone at most time. hahahahahaha..... well, I will just say, I love being with friends at most time, but I don't like being with friends ALL THE TIME. Hmm....put it in another way, I am not someone who knows how to handle committment. Eh... Apparently, I can handle committment when it involves non-human though, i.e. car loan. hahahahaha.... But in terms of wanting me to 'report' to someone about my life, it will really frustrates me and make me 'sick'. I think that's how communication breaks down once I was pushed to do such things by someone. i.e. my parents and brother would know that I do not like to be tied down by people. That's why they never force me stay with them. Perhaps, my definition of CARE and LOVE are different from others and hence, I demand differently when it comes to CARE and LOVE. hahahahahahahahaha....

So, yes. I am feeling a bit of discomfort still. Today, it's neither the abovelisted. It's lack of sleep. I went to bed earlier than usual, but the weather was so bad and humid until I couldn't stand the heat. Woke up, switch on my aircon and went to bed again. Woke up early this morning to work. It's just a terrible night last night. So, I am feeling a bit ... sleepy.

I can't wait to go home to be honest. Last week's works were too many until I really needed more rest this week. Rushed so many works, went to court a few times and my nephew and niece were here. Ghoosh... with all that, I was really really tired. Glad that I am going back home this week. I can't wait. The only thing that I can't seems to feel comfortable with is my account in the office. I won't be around for 2 days this week while the office is still open, so, that's my only worry. But why? hahahaha....

- discomfort -