Busy?

Some friends whom I met yesterday asked me if I am busy lately. Reason behind was I guess, I have made myself 'disappear' from their sight for a while. Partly also because I was really busy. So busy until I forgot about so many things that HAD happen. Ghoosh............what a life I am living as.

This morning, I was chatting with one of my cell member who happen to have 'disappeared' for the past 3 meeting. He said he was busy. Inside me to be honest, I wanted to ask him who is not. But another me tell me that I should let him be because he is not accountable to me, but to God. Since he said SORRY to me, I just told him, no need to apologise to me. This cell is not mine, but His. He is one of the leader in church and I do expect spiritual maturity from him. But to my surprise, this is not the case in this church. Leaders honestly has disappointed me. I am not sure what caused all these, but leaders' spiritual foundation is low. Very low. It's easier to change things and to help them if they are willing, but I encounter so many difficulties in helping. My heart is burdended, but the people disallow my helping hands. That kind of feeling is so difficult to bear. It was the rejection from people that's difficult to bear, but the strong burden placed in my heart which I have not been able to 'release' it that's so difficult to bear.

I can't seems to find anyone who is in the same undersanding as me except one or two who also have the same burden. And I guess all these has made me feel so 'tired' and 'busy'. I never had enough sleep. I always feel tired. I wonder if my physical body is getting weaker and weaker due to the 'stress' of not being able to 'release' my burden. hahahahaha.....

Anyway... what should theGodlyLawyer do? Tell me....

- busy? -