Find something to do when you do not have anything to do.

No.  That's not exactly what it's supposed to mean even though in English, that's how it is phrased.  It is supposed to be : 沒事找事來做。 This HK series reminded me so much about what I step I took when I was down, cannot fall asleep, etc.  I ended up, cooked a few cakes, cleaned a few places, builded a few cupboards, read a few books (9 books in 3 months), painted a few rooms, fixed a few door knobs, etc. etc.  I have agree with the HK series that, it works.  When recalled those days where I can only fall asleep at 3am and woke up at 5am, having no mood to watch TV and yet feeling energetic.  If not because I keep myself busy, I wouldn't have get over that period so soon.

I cannot remember when was the first smile or first laugh i put on my face after I took that step.  I cannot remember how long it lasted too.  But I do realised my laughters got louder and louder, to a point SM and VT always have to find a place in the corner when I tagged along for dinner. hahahahahahahahaha.......  I don't care.  I just wanna laugh.  Let the whole world jealous.  Let it be.

Well, is my current situation improved so much compare to few years back? I don't think so.  But I can smile and laugh louder and louder these days.  I guess, I am just not as stressed and I am not as bothered about the 'situation' anymore.  Having to know someone is loving me and caring me (which I can very much feel) has somehow added to the laughters, despite the difficulties in life.

I guess, I just need to learn to keep finding something to laugh at.  My mom is my best example.  She has really laid a very good testimony for me (but she stopped me from laughing to loud at night some time. Hahaha.....).

So, if you are having sleepless nights, try find something to do.  Go out to have a walk, buy something, go Tuaran to look for a friend, go Kudat to look for friend, go Tenom to look for friend, etc.  I always pushed myself to go Tuaran to look for Lisa Kong.  I also pushed myself to go out to play some pool with Danny, etc.  There's just so many people who has contributed to my "to-do list". I am forever thankful and grateful of having them around.

- Find something to do -

A long drive....

It has been for quite some time since I last travel a long distance journey without driving, being a passenger.  It has also been quite a long while since I travel in the early morning before the sun is up. I was to attend a hearing this morning at Tongod Land office and so, client picked me up at 3:30am and we travelled by car to our destination.  We chatted for a while and I fell asleep around 4:30am. When I open my eyes around 5:30, I saw sunlight..... and it reminds me of my younger days....

During my younger day, the church was run by a group of wonderful and faithful God's people and dad and mom are the 2 who has been around during those time, especially when we do not have any residence priest at that moment and even when we did, they are all English or Australian who doesn't speak chinese.  My dad therefore was being given a license to preach and started his journey as a preacher.  He was required to travel to other places to preach as those churches are mostly chinese speaking congregation and there's not many preacher then.  So, we used to travel a lot in the very early morning..... by car, to Semporna, to Lahad Datu, and to some other interior places.  Those days, those churches do not have a full time worker, what more priest.

While we were on our way, one of the best thing we always do or play with is, to count the stars. We also try to focus on a star until the sun come up and it disappear. Of course, besides we sleep and fight in the car. hahahahahaha.... This morning's journey just reminded me of those days... i travel with my parents and brother to places just to worship the Lord. Listening to my dad's preaching has been one of the big part of my childhood memory. And I know, many were blessed and encouraged by his preaching too.  That's I learn too.  Do what we can to serve Him, do not bother about the 'result'.  Being a pioneer tends to be forgotten by others when it get succeeded.  But being a pioneer, it's a privilege, even though many hardship was endured. Seeing churches these days has at least one priest and a few full time workers.... I am sure that's one of the best thing my dad is happy about in his life.
- a long drive ... -

Intense!

It has been a long while since the last time I have initiate a suits which caused everyone so intense.  All I can say was, the whole court this morning only fill with voices from me, and my opponents.  I have initiated a suit against 3 parties, 2 are banks and 1 is the DGI.  Interestingly, the 2 Banks have no objections to my application and they are on my side.  But DGI is making things difficult to everyone despite the fact that they agreed with our application a week ago when we were in the meeting.  Last minute, they sabotaged by filing extension of time application and also application to strike out my application, which to the 2 Banks' counsels and me, it's just wasting of time and they do not have basis to do that. 
Too bad, even though I know I shouldn't be harsh to DGI (as I have many other matters with them), I have told the senior officer that, as much as they have a lots of pressure from the headquarters, I too have an integrity and justice to uphold and I rely completely on the Rules of Court 2012 and the laws.  I am standing very firm, even to the extend, I refuse to let the 2 Banks go for the time being (despite the fact that I did agreed if DGI allows my application, I will be ok to let them go, but thank God they are wonderful senior lawyers who understand why am I not letting them go at this juncture).
Intense. But my fighting spirit is back.....
- Intense -