Praying dad...

During the hardest moment in life for the past 30 years, I was always been prayed for by many. But today I just wanna tell you how much my dad had and has been praying for me and that has keep me from moving on and on and on and still on....
If you come to my house in Tawau, you will find a pillow that bas gone smaller and smaller each time I saw it. That's because my dad kneels on it every single night for more than an hour to just pray, for many and for me.
Since young, there's just too many things predictable and not predictable happen to me.  We can't change thing that ought to happen under His plans. But we can pray!  That's what God allow us to do and have given us that rights. So,  being  loving dad, my dad submit all his petition to God, asked for His grace and mercy.
Indeed, many obstacles were overcame.  Even for now that he had suffered a major stroke, I still  believes his is still praying for me.
Thats what one needed the most in life. A praying dad! Thanks, Dad!
- praying dad ...-

Wise advice and encouragement!

During the most difficult time at this moment, I can only remember what my grandma used to told me and what my dad used to told me.  I attended a few friends' grandfather's funeral yesterday.  I happen to be able to listens some of the stories of their grandfather and I am not only encourage and inspired, but I  am also being reminded what my grandma told me once.
I am never a favourite grandchild of my grandma because I am her only granddaughter.  The boys somehow captured her heart. Of course, it's also because I am not as girly and I am not as loveable compare to the rest.  Worse still, I am not pretty, I am not cute, i never know how to speak to make her happy, I am not smart and I am just a weird, little girl.
I don't have much recollection of any fond memories between me and my grandma.  But in one particular, I remember she cut some guavas for her to eat and I asked her to eat with us (all my other cousins were around too, but I was the 2nd eldest) and she told me, she likes to eat the seeds as they are sweeter.  I believed her. Later, i told my mom about it and she laughed at me said I get cheated because she just loves us and wanted us to eat the fruits.  My grandma is not educated.  She worked like a maid when she was young before she married to my grandfather.  She was 'sold' from China to Macau, to HK and then to Sabah.  But from young, I thought my dad was very educated, i.e. he has a lots of knowledges in him.  He knows everything. He can solve all problems.  He speaks many languages and his English is good.  He always do translation for others. I remember people came over to my house to ask him help with his tax filing, etc.
I was told my grandma was making sure every of her children goes to school and be educated, no matter how hard life was then.  She can let go of everything else or sacrifices everything to make sure her children goes to school and get educated.
I remember when I was about to go to England for my degree, she had her 3rd time to stroke then... and I was so afraid that I won't see her again after I left.  So, I visited her more often those days and one of the very last thing i remember she told me on the day before i left was that "no matter what happen, just study until you cannot study anymore." Knowing that I am never good in studies, she still encouraged me.  It's like a force for me.  When I came back from England, she was no longer able to talk to me.  And that's one of the words and advises from my grandma until today.
- to be continue.... -

Going bankrupt....

Yes. It has not been a fruitful and good year starting in February... after all the matters have ended... everything is so slow, especially the economic.... prior and after election.  I was hoping things will get better after election, but I realised, i was completely wrong... and after election, all government department are out here, taking a bite on everyone.  The worse is from Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri, the Tax department.  I am not only paying this year's tax.  But also next year... and by paying taxes, I seriously don't know how am I going to survive with paying mortgages on house and car.  Weird.  I wonder why do they want to do that... the only reason I know is that the government is ran out of cash flow.
With all these, my previous staff has left me a lots of mess to sort out.  including paying compensation, etc.  My fault because I have been too busy travelling to Tawau to take care of my parents.  He is not causing angers among my clients, but also messes up everyone's file.  Finally, i was overjoy when he resigned.  BEcause neither he wanted to listens to my instructions nor sort things out.  All he did was sit there and do nothing about it and make everyone furious and angry. I was being nice to him because he's a christian and he has room for improvement.  However, he's taking it too much and when he started to refuse to comply with every instruction I gave him and putting me in a mess, I just couldn't stand it.  Now that I am sorting out all the mess and suffering from the consequences.... here I am, in debts .... big debts... to a point i might need to go bankrupt if no potential business comes in ...
- Going Bankrupt -