It's weird, in two weeks time, many were surprised to find out that I have fully recovered from my major depression months ago and I have stopped taking medicine for dunno how long now. Everyone thought I am still having the med can going for review and I am still not well, etc.
Fortunately and unfortunately, they all found out I have not been taking any med for months now. Oh, and that includes my mom. hahahahahahaha.....
Yeah, I guess, I just didn't bother to 'announce' to the world of the recovery. No big deal really.... at least to me. hahahaha...
For those who knew someone who just committed suicide last saturday and and admitted to hospital, and who have known I have recovered, did asked me about how I get out from it. Oh well, .... did i went for church counselling? Did I involve myself more in prayer, etc... answer: NO. I just being me (the original me before I get sick) and remember all my doctors' advice : One step at a time. It was not easy if you ask me. If you ask me if i can get out from it by my own? Obviously not. Thanks for those who has constantly remember me in your prayer, occasionally text me or call me, and God who went angles around me for a year plus.
I knew many who suffered for years and never get well. I know that 'pain'. I recognised the 'unacceptable' and 'uncontrollable' pains.... when it came in, ... I truly understand that feeling and how much one want to just end it for the sake of releasing themselves from that pains.... I understand how much people who have just walked away not wanting us to be their friends anymore because of the sickness. I understand how much pain it is to need to cope with both the pains and also the additional of losing loves one around us because of the sickness. But just like what bible says about love in this world.... and guess that's what it draws me closer to God still....
Everyone can leave us .... anyone, everyone.... whoever ... except God. I am glad despite my dad had a stroke, he gone through the hardest moment of my life with me. Can't get out of it if not because of him. Can't get out of it if not because of God who no matter how much I tried not to bother about Him, He has been showing me His amazing, faithful and unconditional love.
Life, after all these... has a different meaning to me ...ever since.
So, if you ask me about living life in this world.... don't expect I will give you a 'general' answer.
In gist, we don't give up if God hasn't...
- Revealing... -
No comments:
Post a Comment