I guess, even though I have been away from home for more than 15 years, my life somehow cannot be separated with my parents. I am 'labelled' as my dad's princess all the time. Everywhere I go, people will know who I am in town. Somehow, it's frustrated... but without knowing.... it will remains in me for the rest of my life because that 'cop' ... is 'installed' me forever.
Amazingly, I am still having all the kitchen accessories bought by my parents when I first arrived here in Kota Kinabalu. They came 2 weeks after my arrival, just to get me to go around to get all necessary things purchased. Not that they not know I can do all these myself.... since I have been by then alone in UK for 3 years, alone in KL for 8 years. But they just still see me as their little girl. I guess I will forever only bear the name of 'daughter' to them.... regardless how old I am.
So, when things went really wrong and bad, I guess I really got them so worry about me. Knowing that I can handle it and waiting for me to get over it and get it sorted, somehow, needs a lot of patience. Even when my dad had suffered stroke and needs care, etc. he has never give up. Without him being suffering from stroke, I don't know I get over with all these. He has been with me for the whole period of time... which I am really thankful and grateful for. Speaking of love, I guess he has given me more than 100%. His last concern before he went unconscious was whether anyone is picking me up from the airport.
And so, i promise him that I will not give up. I will strike for the best to run this race... until the end, accordingly to His Will. Not mine. So, no matter how much I dislike the churches these days, the leaders, etc. I am still getting myself close to God. I will not give up.
My return to home to visit my parents every 2 weeks each time is to update him on my progress. He has been supporting me emotionally and psychologically. My dad... today, I just being reminded of how much he spent time praying for me.
He knee down and prayed for me every single night before sleep for at least an hour (according to my mom). Knowing that my life was born in such a way that I need to go through so much trials in life, ... he prays harder and more for me. I love you dad... and I do miss talking with me. And yes, uncle J will definitely bully us if you are able to defence us.
- Remembering my dad... -
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