Worries...

The definition of the word "Worry" according to Oxford Dictionaries: -

verb (worries, worrying, worried)
1. feel or cause to feel anxious or troubled about actual or potential problems:
[no object] :
he worried about his soldier sons in the war

[with clause] :
I began to worry whether I had done the right thing

[with object] :
there was no need to worry her
(as adjective worried) expressing anxiety:
there was a worried frown on his face
[with object] (worry something out) discover or solve something by persistent thought:
children should be allowed to pause in their reading to worry out a meaning

2. [with object] annoy or disturb:
the noise never really stops , but it doesn't worry me

3. [with object] (of a dog or other carnivorous animal) tear at or pull about with the teeth:
I found my dog contentedly worrying a bone (of a dog ) chase and attack (livestock, especially sheep)

4 [no object] (worry at) pull at or fiddle with repeatedly:
he began to worry at the knot in the cord.

Yes, I am worry... worry about the welfare of people especially those who are close to me, and those who are under my care. It is not very easy to be someone's friend, and someone's leader. Somehow, this burden in me to look after the welfare of people is IN me and hence, it is so hard to let me to just say, "Let him/her be" especially when I know something not good is going happen. No, I am no prophets, neither am I a superwomen or have some supernatural power that I can foresee things in the future. But the decernment that God has given me over this, is strong enough for me to 'feel' the different. Yes, I know you will say I should just trust them and let them accountable to God themselves. True, that's a good 'excuse'. To me, I don't see why one would accountable to God in the first place if they cannot be accountable to themselves and their friends and/or leader. As a human being, I won't talk about God because it's easy to be accountable to God then to people around us - God will forgives anyway and He will understands... (excuses I called).

Oh well, why and what makes me worry? Simple, I guess because I care. If I tell you I am not worry about you, there will be only 2 reasons for it. One, that you have gained my trust, 100% because you have proved that you can handle it. Secondly, I do not care about you at all.

Well, I get more worries when you have broken the former scenario. If the second scenario happen, of course, you won't get any 'concern' from me at all because I might consider you do not worth my concern at all (very rarely, but.. will explain later), and the worry part will not even steps in.

There will be time where I don't bothers and/or concern at all because you have decided not to accountable to me, nor wanting me to be part of it and ignoring every reminders I gave. When this happen, yes, I will not bother at all and I am adapting the "if you want to die, I will let you die" principle.

Recently, there's too many things to worry about and seriously, not all of those cause me to have sleepless nights... nothing worries me then the welfare of a person who is under my care and/or someone whom I consider as 'close'. When line was crossed and they seems perfectly alright about it (by giving me excuses to explained him/herself), that worries me even more because I know they are not in their right mind already and they have been brainwashed. Of course, I do believe, besides the party concerned, there's 3rd party who also contributed towards it.

Is it so hard to resist the temptation? I believe at all time, it is... when we put our brain aside and our feeling first...

Worries... I must say I am worry about others, more than myself ... and it is so hard not to worry!

- worries ... -