Trust!

Ever wonder how much trust you have on a person? What's the maximum and what's the minimum? How much do you trust a traffic light? When the light turned green, do you ever doubt whether you should just go or will you doubt if the traffic light is malfunction or not? How much trust do you have on a close friend? How much trust would you put to your own client if you are me?

I seriously trusted some people very much and yet some, I don't trust at all. I remember months ago, there's this client instructed me to helped her in the job and I seriously trusted she will pay my bill because she did paid for the one piece of work I did for her previously. Hence, I trusted her. Well, I must say, she has yet to pay my bill until today. It's almost 3 months now. Another one, whom we in the firm know they always paid our bill and yet, this particular of bill, she has yet to pay me too.

So, when clients walked in to my office asked me to do work for them now a day, I always asked them to pay the deposit (used to be nominal, but not anymore). Just like this morning when a client walked in to ask me to sue someone for acted negligently in causing her dog died, I asked for a few hundreds just to send a letter out.

Don't get me wrong, I am not bothered very much by all these bills as the amount is really very small. Instead of the bill, I asked myself about trust. I suddenly realise I have very little trust on people arounds me. Some people I trusted, has certainly disappointed me, i.e. I trusted this so and so be able to handle this particular job well for me and yet, he/she didn't manage to even finish the job, not to say... to my satisfaction. Some people, I have trusted them by telling them things and yet, at the end fo the day, I only found out that, she has discussed my 'problem' with someone else. Betrayed? Hmm... that's such a strong word to use. But... I cannot really think of any word to replace it though. Well...may be not so of the real meaning of 'betrayal', but... may be just the feeling???

I cannot remember how hard it was for me to trust a person. I just happen to trusted some somehow and I hope, I really hope... I am not being disappointed... well, ... can't really control that can I? hahahahahaha...

I guess, what I need is to remind myself of the traffic light... of how much trust I have on a traffic light... and hopefully, I can build up my trust towards people arounds me. Yah?

- trust ! -