The law

Law. 

Whenever I have a conversation with some friends about the situation in HK, I always think that some people are misusing their understanding of laws that they think they know better and goes against the police and the enforcement.  Oh well, not that the all the policeman are 'righteous' enough not to be accused of.  Some I am sure was emotionally challenged and acted out of control too.  Anyway, we noted that there are people who hate the law and there are people think the law is good and even need to be tightened.  

There are people whom we tried to reach out to always commented that, they do not like to be Christian because there are too many laws and rules and regulations.  "I won't be able to get drunk, have sex with multiple partners or even smoke if I become a Christian".  "I would rather keep that 'freedom' I have so I can enjoy a better life.  So yes, I can live without God".    

God never says keeping the law, and you will go to heaven or have your salvation.   There's no way that one will receive salvation and/or grace by what they do or not do.  The existence of the law is so that we realised how sinful we are, how weak we are, how much we need God's help and His grace.  Most of the people whom I met in Court who committed crimes know that they committed crimes but still maintain that they are 'innocent' and 'right' and they claimed all the rights they have and if a lawyer or there's no law that's available to get them out of their crimes committed, they blame the legal system, the laws and the lawyers.  Some of them even blame society, etc.  Some of them blame that they do not know the laws and that's why they shouldn't be subject to the laws.  They got angry and dissatisfied because the law exposed how guilty they are and how much sins and crimes they have committed.  

Only when sentencing and punishment are pronounced that they started to fear and ask and beg the Judge to give lenient and lighter sentencing and punishment.  They then begged for grace, by telling the Judge that, they are the sole breadwinner for the family, they have an elder at home that needs to be taken care of by them, this is their first offence, they were being cheated by the co-accused, they were sick, etc. etc.  

As a Christian, most of the time were are like that too.  Over the years, I have committed too many mistakes and sin and I have been telling God that, I am so not worthy to be your child and I do not deserve for you to die on the cross for those non-sense things I have committed. I have even come to accept that if God has decided not to love me anymore, that's on me and it's not Him who rejected me.  

The law was 'added because of transgressions" until Christ came (Galatians 3:19).  This verse has reminded me that if I have gone past the part where I will be punished by the law and come to ask for His grace and mercy and promise that I will do better because He loves me, then I am saved.  

I am glad that I am being vindicated of my sin and wrongdoing.  I am glad He never is faithful and He is still loving me like He used to love me.  I am glad He never reject me.  I am glad He is still with me and guiding me through.  He is the only one who still accepts me as who I am with all my failure, mistakes and sin, I finally feel how much He truly loves me and I am thankful that He is willing to accept me as who I am and continue to forgive me and love me.  

Thank you, Lord, for letting me know about your love and grace through the laws.  

- the law - 

The wrath of God

Romans Chapter 1

2 years ago (the feeling is stronger since April 2019), I have been prompt about the following: -

(a)  the harvest is plentiful but my workers are few;

(b)  Jonah and God's mercy; and

(c)  counterfeit God.

And when I started with Romans few weeks ago, it's about the wrath of God.

Interestingly, this is the first time I have read Chapter 1 in detail and understood that when we suppressed our acknowledgement towards the need of God,  one of the actions of the wrath of God is to make sure that we have everything that we 'over-desired' so that we lost God completely, that includes seeking blessing and salvation overly.

Over the past few months, I have been thinking about giving up the law firm I am managing now by end of May and I have been praying and hoping to have more time to prepare myself before the day to come as I have yet to know what He wants me to do next.  With the MCO, it is good that I have all the time to spend it with the Lord (verticle relationship) so I know how I can do to sort out the horizontal relationship on earth. 

I am, however, yet to know anything about "what's my next chapter of life".  But I do know that I do not want to put my focus on or over-desired to have a satisfying life other than making Him happy.  I am not sure about you.  If I love the person, I don't like to see him/her angry.  I will try to do anything, everything possible to make the person happy.  I just want to make God happy, even though I do acknowledge that I have limited and small 'power' to offer. 

Over the years, I have been making sure that I will not have the feeling of I need my career or firm more than God.  Obviously, it is a huge struggle for me because (a)  besides career, I don't have anything else (no family, no friends, no church, no ministry); and (b)  I do need financial support to lives a life. At times I do worry about not making enough money to survives a decent life, not just for myself but for my mom too.  Many times, it's always so challenging when I have to decide whether to take the job that I will suffer through it or just to do the job in order for me to have some profit.  While juggling between these, I still have to think about my workers, whether I have enough to pay them, pay for the expenses and others.  I have to admit that I have spent more time thinking or worrying about this rather than spending my brain juice in thinking about God.  

I realised I have this problem and expectation in recent years.  Yes.  Only in recent years.  I hate it when friends are telling me, "sorry for not being able to keep in touch these few weeks because I am busy and I will probably be able to squeeze some time for you in June."   It hurts me when I heard that.  Seriously? I am not insignificant that you can't even spend 5 minutes for me every day? Our relationship is not any greater than your work or your ministry or your other friends?  

I guess I was like those friends too when I am with God, in the past few years.  "Sorry God, I don't have time for you today or these 2 weeks.  Maybe I can squeeze some time for you in June, after my sorts out my family matters, my court trials, my friends who need me, fixing my house, etc."  Does that sound familiar? 

"Ouch!"  That's exactly what God will feel.  Hurt.  Not appreciated.  Rejected.  Less important. God gave us 24 hours a day and we used 8 hours to sleep (not compromising any minutes for other things), 8 to 10 hours to work, 3 to 4 hours to eat and other hours to do what you like, but we can't spend 30 minutes to 1 hour to be with the Lord? I am feeling the hurts.  Seriously... 

I repented on my first chapter of reading and studying Romans.  I repented. I am sorry I made you angry, Lord.  I know you love me and it's so painful when your loved one hurts you this way.  Forgive me.  

- the wrath of God - 

Counterfeit God?

We are on the 3rd phrase of the Movement Control Order (MCO).  I have to say that I am much blessed by this MCO instead of feeling constrained, isolated and socially distanced.  In fact, what I hope things that would happen, it happened and I hope this will last forever, that includes, the church services, the daily devotion and reflection, the resources online, the e-services, etc. etc.  Well, at least, I have been living in such isolation and socially distancing life for a while now, just that more services are now available online so, I guess life gets BETTER.  

I have seen and heard people complaining about not having a proper church service PHYSICALLY; not having the work to occupy themselves and therefore they are feeling they are useless these days;  not having been able to socially/physically communicated with their loves one such as yum cha, tea sessions, chat sessions, wasting of time sessions and/or interact with people through sports; mentally they are challenged to be confined in a small space (with or without others around); not having their private time; not having their usual routines, and the list goes down so much about how much to make themselves feel GOOD.  

Is attending church and go to work is all about making us feel GOOD? I am afraid I have the opinion that when people started to complain about the lack of all the above, it is because they have made all these as their counterfeit God - something/people that they cannot lives without.  So much so that we thought money, power and sex are usually those elements and things that we will make them as counterfeit God, but unfortunately, that doesn't just about it.  There are more than that, that includes ourselves.  Do we make ourselves and our needs/desire our counterfeit God?

I probably told some that I love being alone.  Yes.  I do get out of my 'loneliness' and went to work, walk around the streets or shops to get things, or to meet up with friends to have a meal or two, but I don't make staying alone and being alone all that I need.  In summary, I love being alone but I don't make it the only thing I need in order for me to be happy or lives my life.  I don't make it my counterfeit God.  Isn't money or making money important? Yes.  It is, but I don't devote myself to just make money and lives for it.  Is attending church services important? Yes.  It is.  Just that I am fine with virtue Sunday services too if that's necessary (due to sickness, inability to move, circumstances like MCO, etc).  I don't make attending Sunday service physically a must and if not, it's a sin. 

Furthermore, it is entirely something different between feeling social distancing, isolation and loneliness.  I can go to church to attend Sunday service but I feel more lonely being there than being at home and have Sunday service virtually and had a Zoom discussion after that.  My Sunday service in KK has been mundane.  I attended Sunday Service physically every Sunday still but I always feel lonely.  Never a time I feel welcomed or belonged.  It's just going and go home, just like getting business sorted due to obligation.  

During this MCO, I am so glad that the church in the UK has now having their Sunday services virtually and that I am not only able to attend the services once, but for both the services and have been following on their series without fail.  Additional to that, they have come up with daily reflection, posted questions for you to discuss among your group of friends/group members, and since more and more of my friends are on Zoom and Skype or whatever virtue platform, I have been somehow more 'socially active' than ever. Do I feel less lonely? I do.  But I am also happier because I have more 'connection' and resources that can help me to know and be with God better.  I love this the most during the MCO.  I really wish it will forever be like this, but no.  I don't want this to be my counterfeit God.  But for now, I am not complaining.  I am using this time and circumstances to develop a better and different relationship with God.  

I hope you are too.  Don't keep complaining.  See the good in all these and enjoy while you can. 

- Counterfeit God? -