Dad's?

I keep asking how come my father is not rich!!! He started to work as a teacher since age 21. How can he not be a rich man? How come he has to struggle to life so difficult until he retired? How come he earned respect instead of being rich? Where are all his monies? 

It's Father's Day two Sunday ago and I saw my youngest uncle wishes my dad happy Father's Day and said my dad has always like a father to and for him. That reminds me my mom's complains... That my dad always gave all his monies to his siblings. If not because of my mom, we wouldn't even able to survive well. So, where are my dad's monies? Yes.... Never get to save up because of his siblings.... Until even to take care of my grandma when she grew old, it's all my dad's responsibilities. 

From school to being married and have their own children, my uncles and aunties don't do much to contribute or help out my dad, including us. 

I never get any help much from them. Instead when my grandma passed away, every grandchildren of hers get some money because they came back for funeral, and I didn't get a cent out of it. Everyone of them said I don't need it. I never forget that moment. Not that I need the money, but it's all about fairness. 

It has been 5 years since dad had stroke. I can say, they have not being bothering much with us and how we cope. May be the first year they care a lot, but definitely not for the past 4 years. We can literally know who cares and who don't. I don't blame them.... Because my own brother also don't bother much. Even if he get most of my parents' monies to study oversea. He never need to work whole studying. Unlike me..... Worked like a cow always...

So, my life is deprived of all that I need and wish because of this bunch of people. I certainly won't ask help from any of them. Instead, I won't do anything good for them either.

But just because I am a lawyer, my  beloved uncles and aunties always take things for granted. I have somehow realised this: no need to treat other good including my sibling. I need to have extra before I can give. So, uncle and Aunty, stop trying...... 

Life is too tough for me to give away what I earn. 

- dad's-

Lives as if it is your last moment

That's exactly how I have lives like for the past 4 years.  Lives as if it is my last moment in life.  Ever since I know that I could have been dead and/or I will one day be gone has made me lives everyday like it is my last.  I treasure every moment in my life, making sure it's 'lived' without any regret.  This, should not be the way it is for those who has some disease in them.  This, should be for everyone on earth.  No one know how and when we are going to die.
A friend's mother just past away after a week of being admitted to the hospital.  She was shocked to be told her mom got admitted.  I urged her to go home the next day before i left to a half day trip to Sandakan.  When I reached airport, she's at airport waiting for her flight.  We chat.... and she doesn't seems to be ready for the departure of her mother, even though she do know, her mother has not been well for the past one year.  Life is unpredictable.  I am glad she went home, spent a day with her mother before her mother collapsed completely and was admitted to ICU without the ability to breath by her own.
Today, she's sorting out things for her mom's funeral the whole day.  That's how short life is.  I am not sure how ready we all are, to face the death and also to lost someone we hold dearly.  It's no surprise to see my dad in the current stage, knowing that his condition will only deteriorate.  But it is somehow, heartbreaking to see how my dear mother coping with life as such.  Having the needs to take care of her husband, taking care of her daughter who is always in the run, worry about her son's family, etc.  Is that all of a life? If I didn't call her today and if she is gone tomorrow, yesterday would be our last communication. But well, who can guarantee we are still living tomorrow? or .. the next hour?
Life is shorter than what we expected.  We all thought having been in a different stage of life, our life is 'longer'... but that's not right.  According to His timing..... we only have 'a lifetime'.  Are we doing what we ought to do or rather, are we doing what we are assigned to do by Him? What if you haven't finish the assignment and He has taken you away? Is that mean we have missed the 'greatest' opportunity?
How do we lives or sustain our lives? By worrying about whether I have money to pay my staff next month or whether I will get pay next month or whether the loan i apply will be approved? or are we focusing on whether we have done what He has assigned us to do?
I am reminded again .... today, of what I should be focusing on.... and not what 'life' generally focuses on.

- Lives as if it is your last moment -

A good start?

I have recently took up the efforts to finally get the firm name, Kenneth Thien & Associates to change to PS Lin Chambers.  It has been about  5 years now that I have practise under the name and style of Kenneth Thien & Associates.   The main reason I didn't get the firm name changed 5 years ago because I wasn't sure whether I will want to continue to practise law in Sabah.  I have not been wanting to practise law as it has in many ways, 'depressed' me.  I cannot accept the fact that this country, even churches are not doing things in accordance with law, in upholding justice.  It seems like, the law I have been studying, is inapplicable to the practical lives we have in this country.  So, I gave myself 5 to 8 years to 'test' if I should continue to practise.  

Please do not get me wrong.  By changing the firm name this month, does not mean i will practise law in Sabah for the rest of my life.  Instead, it is a platform for me to proceed to quit and/or to proceed to the next step in life, i.e. a better living. 

I sent out an email notification last week to all law firms in Sabah that we have changed our Firm name, some friends and fella counsels called up to congratulates me, and some even approached, referring some cases to me.  I guess, i am not alone.  What surprised me was that, some, knowing that it's me who deal with the matter, knows all I need is to sort out the matters and not complicate matters.  Some, knows corruptions and briberies will not compromised my integrity and ethical practises.  I might not be a very famous lawyer in town.  I might not be a rich lawyer in town too.  In fact, I probably is the lawyer who is well known to be 'working alone' all the time.  Judges knows me as 'still new and dare to fight' for justice, but lack of experiences.  No one knows who was my master before this and who taught me how to stand up in court or conduct a trial alone.  In fact, I have learned by practising them, observing my opponents and learned from mistakes.  Those are always and still, my great teacher.  But I guess, I am well known that I will do the best for clients, I don't take up matters simply because of monies.  Of course, if justice cannot be uphold, I blame myself and the law system badly too ( I guess this happen to all my fellow colleagues too).  

It's a good start.  But as my mentor in KL told me once, "It is important to have a good start, but it is even more important to have a good end".  I hope, I will end up my practise and life of being known of the same, a lawyer with integrity and ethical.  

- A good start? -