I walked into a Bank recently, just because I was asked to go and get my credit card and at the same time, I was trying to get my debit card sorted as it is expiring. While the officer was trying to sort things out for me, she didn't waste her time asking me if I have planned for my retirement. To be honest, I did, but I thought, due to me having so much sickness in me, I do not think I even need to think that far. Practically, I will just keep my focus on staying alive for now. Of course, I did not stop her from sharing, because I am sure she needs a little practice and I don't mind listening to what Bank can offer these days too. Interestingly, she told me you can invest a sum of monies with time for a long term (30 years) and you will get a return based on the interest of 4.99% per annum every year. Her reasoning of why we should start saving and investing now of course because we are unable to see the future, we might need more in the future, the interest rate in the saving account or fixed deposit is too low, etc.
She then asked me if I have invested at all, which I told her, not at all. At least not financially. Seriously, I think the package that she is trying hard to sell to me is kind of interesting and that kept me thinking for a week at least of whether I should invest in it.
That's us, human, who in many time in our lives accepting a fact of the world that was put in our face and kept us away from feeling secure by just being in the dwelling of God. We tend to plan for the future we are unable to know about and if we do not get what we planned for, we lose faith in the world or even God and started to blame God for not providing enough. Just like what happened in 2020. I remember we all were very happy about what we planned ahead for the year 2020. A career advancement, a wedding, a reunion party, a family holiday, and big profit on the way and suddenly, not that plans had to be cancelled, but some of us also faced with unpredicted problems and issues including the passing of our loved one, physical separation with our loved one, lost of job, lost of income, facing bankruptcy and winding up of your company, and others. You started to ask the question, "why me, Lord, why?".
As ironic as it sounds, I can somehow hear God says, "Is that my plan or yours that it didn't get through, my Child?" If it is yours, why are you pointing the question to me now? If it is mine, why can't you let go and let me be God and follow my plan? Either way, I find it that's we as human, never learn from past history when it comes to relationship with God. Don't you think?
Let me ask you a question. What's your life goal? To accumulate enough wealth so you can enjoy the rest of your retirement days until you died? That's what the Officer in the bank was telling me about. The whole of your life, all you do is this? Waking up early morning, sleep so little, and worked so hard, just so you can have a little more monies and enjoy the remaining time on this earth? Sorry to use 'remaining', but that's exactly the word that I deem appropriate to describe our remaining time here on earth before we die. Or, to get married, have children and worked the whole of your life just to see them grow, have their own children? Or what exactly is your life goal? How much can you plan to achieve it? When you do, did you not making yourself as the idols? or did you not make the money you earn (which is supposed to get you food to sustain your life), the wealth, your children, your grandchildren, your wishes and dreams as your idols? By putting them as your idols, did you put God as one of the 'methods' or 'tool' in getting what you want instead? Let me simplify this for you. Did you plan things ahead and then pray that God will give you what you wish for, or you have nothing planned ahead and just pray that God will direct your path and bless you? I bet most of us are doing the former than the latter. You will ask me, how can one not have a plan? I need to plan ahead for many things and if God loves me, He will fulfil my dreams and all that I am asking for. See, that's the problem of the human being.
That's my problem. I was kind of frustrated and angry with God a few weeks back when I realised that I might need to go for another surgery to get myself fixed. My almost immediate reaction was, "Come on God, again? Can you be nice to me at least once?" I got even more frustrated when I came to realised that, I have no control over my own health and own physical body because we all know that, even though the body seems to be ours, it is actually belonging to God, and I guess I have forgotten about it. I thought I have full control of my own body and health. That's how wrong I was.
Today is Good Friday and throughout this holy week, I have taken so much time pondering over (a) how much He loves me (b) how much I have to submit myself into Him and His plan (c) I have to focus on Him and His plan alone and nothing else (d) There is no other thing or no other person in this world is more important for me to give my life to (e) I should focus in preparing for the eternal life after death and so, it is important to meditate and memorise His words and worship Him more.
Last Sunday, after I told a friend to pray for me to keep my focus on Him (because I think I did lose focus on Him but unable to comprehend what exactly that I lost focus on), another friend texted me the next day and said she dreamt about me, wearing a one small hole pinhole spectacle as if it tells me to focus and not being distracted by things that are happening at my surrounding.
Yes. Along our journey of life, we can be made blind or cannot see clearly, unless we see through that tiny hole, only then we are able to focus and mind you, it is very important to put all efforts to see through that tiny hole because the surroundings are very attractive and we might lose focus on why we are here on earth for. Yes. I was worry about income for the next few months or probably years. Yes. I am worried about my health. Yes. I am worried about a lot of things, but today... as we remember Jesus died for me on the Cross because of our iniquities, I am telling you that I am not even afraid of death, so what should I afraid of exactly? The victory is in Him and He is my father who loves me and taking care of me, not just on earth, but in future. So, why should I be worried about the future, the future that I cannot control, the future that only He knows and has planned ahead?
My retirement plan? It has to be 2 Timothy Chapter 3 and 4. First, Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction. Secondly, keep my head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of my ministries. That's my retirement plan and my retirement did not start at age 65 because I might not have time till then to execute such plan. It has to be now and I hope if I am blessed to retire at 65, I will still be able to carry on this plan until the coming of Jesus or I died, whichever is earlier. For now, that's my only focus in life.
- Retirement Plan : on a Good Friday reflection -
