Total Loss!

It's huge lesson, not for anyone, not for everyone... but I do somehow has the privileges to experience this ... from God of course.  It took me years to get over with the issues of losing EVERYTHING belonging to me in England when the cargo was declared has been destroyed in a shipping accident.  I remember that was the first time my mother called and calm me down before telling me the 'bad news'.  And to make sure I was ok, she called my brother to call me.  3 years properties, that includes all my assignments, my awards, my belonging, all those gifts, memories, photos, books, etc. etc.  You name it.  Pain... that pain...! It took years to slowly adapt and accept the fact... and only after years when I started to forget what's in the 2 big boxes.  That was the first experience of how I lost everything that I took as the most precious in my life.  After the incident, everyone said I have turned into someone who doesn't care much about things and people around me. I agreed because it taught me that nothing last forever, ... especially tangible things.  Nothing last.... and of course, i guess that's the main reason why all relationship matters falls apart too.  I can't seems to trust anyone, anything, any situation....
After losing everything and start from having 1 laptop and some clothes, I started to look at life on different angle. All these of course started with how God 'found' me again when I was in England and how He moves me back to Malaysia, with my step of faith of course.  It's challenging journey instead.
Last year, God made me lost everyone, every single people I treasure and love so much in a few months time. It's even more challenging that the "pre-warning total lost".  What I treasure a lot? (a)  Church life, (b) my dad (c) certain close and supportive friends (d) my own sound mind/myself.  Yes.  I lost them all.  First with the departure of Kiat Ping.  A best and awesome and supportive friend whom I can always relied on and whom I had relied on for the past 15 over years.  Be it I was in England, or back in KL, his "presence" through the internet (mRIC then), etc, and physical presence has somehow cause a huge support in my life.  Losing him is unbearable.  If you wonder why I know so much about computers and all, all credits goes to him, including hacking and all.  I remember how he manage to send a motherboard to me from Malaysia just to get my computer fixed while I was in England, with detail instruction given. Musics, etc that was sent to me so that I won't feel bored. How can I forget? Other friends who left me because of my sicknesses all at once (Not only those in KK, but also everywhere... great ai?), losing my dad who can give me advices, etc. (but he still remains the best support I have still), I am basically left with no one around me.  Not to mention of course losing my partners at work, a church, a group of church friends... etc. Well, at least i know who is my true and real friend now.. none!
I wonder for a long while why He makes me losing everyone, everything....
No. I never lose my focus on Him.  Don't judge too soon ... I have never forgotten why I am back here for and what makes me come back here for.  I can't seems to understand how does the 2 relates, but I can tell you now is that, I survive until now even with 2 times of total loss! But how long can I last? I really don't know. hahaha...  of course no one knows. hahaha...
- Total Loss! -

Two sides of a story!

After being a litigation lawyer for the past 7 years, I realised.... many contentious matter in court are due to misunderstanding, from a minor misunderstanding, it has rolled and rolled and rolled and has turned to be a major misunderstanding... each party's lawyer only gets one side of the story, which is their client's story.  The procedure however, will leads us all to disclose facts and particulars at one stage of the matter, which is when the case is almost reach the trial date... and only then, both parties lawyers will have a full picture of what's going on and how to advice their clients to settle instead of going to full trial.  Of course, some lawyer will stick on and rather go for full trial as it will cost more.  But that's generally, not how I practice.  I usually try to help my clients to solve their 'problem' instead of argue until the end and get broke (hence I am not a very 'good' lawyer and people says, I 'spoil' the market).  

I remember a year or 2 ago, people has been hearing nothing from me nor seeing me, but rumours about me, was travels as far as England, UK, Australia, New Zealand... etc. etc. Just like an international news, .... most of those who knows me well, know that the rumours WERE and remain as rumours and it's nothing true. Those we believes, ... I can only say, they are as 'fake' as those who spread the rumours. There are always 2 sides of 1 story, or sometimes, more than 2.  Even in a murder case, ... there's always another side of the story, hence, provocation, insanity, intoxication, could be one of the defence for murder.  When one manage to raise any of those, sentence will be reduced.  i.e.  it is a way to say, their action is reasonable in certain degree.  Hence, from a lawyer's point of view, I won't believe in one side of the story.  Even judges wants to listen to both sides of the story to make their judgment and decision.  Witnesses will be called, evidence will be tendered/admitted, etc.  Even with witnesses seeing things happen, without them knowing what make the person has such reaction, will only means, there's actus reas, ... 

A friend recently told me she had a big argument with her husband and she admitted, sometimes... it's her that caused him to get angry.  She agrees that, sometimes, it is people who made us goes insane and reacted differently.  Hence, the cause, the what lawyer calls, the law of causation is important.  I remember hitting a friend as young as I was in primary 4 because he teased me so badly that I ended up hitting him a few times until he stops.  I call that provocation.  It doesn't matter how good or bad you can control your mind.  Everyone has a limit.  You won't get angry with certain things, doesn't mean I can handle that.  When I said, "stop shouting at me".  I means it and you don't need to see how far I can go in order for you to make a stop in it.  If warning is given, just stop doing it.  You don't need to know the history behind.  All you need to do when you are given warning is to stop shouting.  

So, what's with Pastor Kong Hee and Bishop Vun? Are you hearing one side of the story or all sides? I don't know.  I am not going to judge too.  I am just feeling sad that sometimes, because we did not legalised 'good intention', ... things turned out badly.  Is 2/3 agreement on AGM or EGM is good enough? Are these documented properly? I am sad not because of what they did.  I am sad because many see them a 'model' and not Jesus.  No will take Jesus seriously anymore... all see churches, leaders.... etc. as their example, their model ... it's sad.  Now, are you seeing a different direction and 'side' of this story?

I really hope there's less and less people judging... but more people who work for Him.... 

-Two sides of a story! -

Tragedy!

Tragedy has never strike me at the same time except last year of course, where not only one issue, but at least 5 issues came at the same time, lasted for 10 months... wow... it's crazy!  This time... losses of contacts and phones at the same time strikes me.  Good.  Now, i will know who i am still in contact with and who is not.  Those who are not, i will not have their numbers.  For those who are contacting me, i will of course save it one by one.  Phew, i am sure this time, my contact will have not more than 500 and I can save it on my SIM card. hahahahaha....

Yes, life without a phone.  It's peaceful but yet... but then I have to constantly checking of whether there's fax, there's phone calls from office, etc. Interesting, but, i like the peaceful few days. 

So, I have lost everything before.  And I have lost all friends and support before. And now, contacts? haha... I know I can survive anyhow.  Amazing! He sure loves to make jokes with me. 

-Tragedy! -