Friday, July 15, 2011

I gave up!

For many months now that I was having the thoughts of giving up and only recently, I declare that I truly gave up. Don't get me wrong, it's not me who gave up first. I only make this decision after months of being gave up by God, church, friends and people arounds me. If you are one of them and this is what you wish to see and get, you have it your way. I can tell you now that I gave up on you because you gave up on me months ago for few months now. It's not a short time trying to fight not to give up, but I guess, I am encouraged somehow by you all to give up. So, I do. I gave up! I hope you are proud to have done this to me.

- I gave up! -

Best week of the year!

No no no... it's not that I have won a lottery nor earned a million this week. It's not I found a lover or having some friends around. None of those make me having the best week of the year. The best week of the year is made out by me found myself. What does that mean? Haha.... well, only those have lost all those important things and people in the world will understand what it means when he/she found themselves again after all the losses. This is the second time I lost 'everything' in my life. Compare to the previous one, this one is worse as the previous one was lost of possessions and my past, but this time, I lost people, health, friends, parent, myself, career and all.
It's the best week of the year because I have make it a point that all that I lost shall end. I am glad to have some friends who tried very hard to get me out from the apartment, to try to cope with me, to suffer the terror of waited at the airport for one hour plus, to suffer my last minutes cancellation of meeting and fellowship, etc. Your patience is amazing. For those who left me when things first started, you have shown me you are not needed in my life and you have put all the efforts to make sure I stop bothering you, you have it your way now. I appreciate your efforts for telling me I am not wanted in your life and you want to get rid of me. I appreciate the truth you told me all these months. You have it your way now and so, you can now stay away from my life forever...
It's a week that I found satisfaction of living once again. The regaining life with the 'bad sectors' feeling is... amazing!
- Best week of the year! -

Monday, July 11, 2011

Exhausted but satisfied

It has been for so long that I have not been feeling so exhausted because of work before. Travelling, drafting, meeting clients (including attending people who are not our clients), arranging things in the office, attending courts, researching, etc... and it has not stopped. Glad that I am asked for dinner tonight. Otherwise, I think bread would be my best company tonight.


I am exhausted but satisfied!


- Exhausted but satisfied! -