Loss!!!

I am in this new office on the first week and I am not feeling comfortable at all.... I am still not sure of the cause of it... but I really cannot wait for a break. May be I am stressful and/or may be I am really need time to get used to new office. hai... after all.... I am miserable still.

This morning, I went to meet a dear 'mother'. I call her mother because she has always been encouraging and always good in her advice. I went to deliever a DVD to her actually and ended up, we chat for a while and she did encouraged me a lot in my ministries and/or works and/or life. I really thank God for her. She teaches me music, she teaches me piano, singing, etc.etc. Of course she was shock this morning when I told her I am playing BASS these days... hahahaha.. I guess she has never thought I will play bass... obviously, that has made me think that I have truely changed a lot over the years.... hai... sometimes, I wonder if it is a good or bad... may be I like to be who I was.... it's really sad...

Well, ... I really am loss....

- loss -

Hmm.... satisfied?

I am seriously not very satisfied with life lately... due to the change of firm. I am not sure if it is the work specification or is it because of my heart. I doesn't like to be in the office and doing drafting, meeting clients, getting businesses anymore. I don't like chasing after all these thing... I am not so sure if it is because I am too tired with works or what...may be going for a break will change all these? I don't know. I am PRESSURED. I am lost... in a way...!!! The happiest thing I get now a day is a time to be in church, with my church members, serving the Lord even thought I don't get any pay from it. ... what happen to me???????

I really don't know.... but I really can't wait to go mission.... to England for a year... or anywhere else for mission.....

Now I am praying really hard that the revenue/profit I earned in my old firm will be able to pay up 70% of my debts.... and then... I shall have no worries to do what I need to do.... (some of you know what I mean... please pray for me, ok? )

- not satisfied -

New Start... New Chapter...

The feeling I have today is a bit weird and funny. Firstly, I am working and seeing different people then those I used to seen and meet. I travel through another road to another building. I do not need to travel all the way to somewhere near the airport anymore. I don't have sounds made by the airplanes and I do less travelling now a day.

It's also weird feeling because after so long of a time, I only have the feeling of "I am a lawyer" today. Since yesterday, I was panic with the case hearing this morning and I realise I have failed to serve a document to a special body and that has caused me prepare myself to be scolded. However, I was... but I also got what I was asking for. So, it's a lesson.... Well, after I came back from court and breakfast, I was stuck in my office and doing lots of research and drafting and faxing and filing... and wow... I once again being 'revived'. hahahaha....

Well, still... I am worry about this month's income though I thank God for giving me part time teaching months before hand. He has certainly done something for me... even before I know it. So, yes... I shouldn't worry, should I? God will provide somehow.

Well, pray for me... this job and profession is getting tougher and tougher... I don't think I am 'fit' for it... if it is not because of Him.

- new start, new chapter -