"EMPTY"

... I really do not have a single thing in mind this morning.

Woke up thinking it was still early due to the 'darkness' in the room and the house. It's a rainy day... was caught in the jam, then can't find parking space, late. Good thing is, I am earlier than my boss!

A client called for advice before hearing tomorrow. Got 2 files on my table that need attention. 2 bundles of cases and research need to be done. One written submission need to be done. But yet, I don't feel like doing anything. May be I should sort out the 2 files first.

Talked to my ex-boss in KL who gave me an offer about me trying to attend a few interviews if possible. He seems ok about it but he also asked me to meet him up and to visit the firm before I make any decision. Well, a friend did asked me why did I still look for other firms if I know he is offering me a place. Well, the point is I did asked him about the offer, the prospect, the paid, but he is not sure himself. So, I am not convinced and therefore, I apply to other firms as well.

Another friend of mine asked me what's my defination for "good firm". Well, to me a good firm is a firm where it can satisfied me in achieving what I want, comfortable, good paid but not stressful and long working life. I told her that I do not wish to lives a life of a cow because I am a human being. I do need time to serve the Lord. Something that a cow do not have. I want to be differentiate from that. But at the same time, I do hope to get a very satisfied working life. Honestly, I am scare to enter into a firm like my current firm, where I am so relax, nothing much to do, no motivation, don't know where I am heading to.

A friend said I am a doomed.... well? ... what can I say? I really wish to be able to stay with my parents in Tawau but at the same time, get to do a job that's like KL working life. ... but that's IMPOSSIBLE.

So, yes... that's what in my mind this morning.

...

Speechless!!!

I was so worried about not getting a job lately. Hence, I sent a few application. I didn't hear from any firm since then until yesterday. 2 firms that called me... are not my 'so wanted' firms. Both asked me for interview. Hmm....apparently, I got 2 friends working in that 2 firms. Firm A's friend told me no need to come for firm A interview because I will be working under a very fierce and terrible boss. Friend said, it is worse than one of my partner in my old firm, which means.... VERY BAD BOSS. Another friend heard about me in Firm B, text me last night asking if it was me that apply to Firm B. She said the firm is ok. Their paid is quite good also. But it is located in Mont' Kiara. Those of you who know would probably say it is far and food there is very expensive. ... So, I am thinking... and wondering and I just don't know what to do now. Some friends did advice me to go through the interview to find out more first. If that's the case, I will have to call them up and ask them if interview can be set on 16 or 17 of January 2006. I did apply for 3 other 'so wanted' firm, but I heard nothing from them yet. Shall I or shall I not call them? Hmm........................................!!! Some firm, if they do not have vanancies, they will just send you a letter to tell you so. Hence, I am wondering, if they have sent letter to me. If that is the case, I shall not wait, but attend the 2 interviews.

----- dilemma -----

Year 2006!

First of all, Happy and Blessed New Year, everyone...!!!

I trusted that you had a wonderful celebration and fellowship on new year! Without realising it, this is the first new year I had at home for the 10 years. ... I almost forgot how Tawau celebrated new year!!! Some of you would remember that the ships are doing some 'horning' when the clock turns 12am on 01.01 every year. This year, a friend called and asked if I would like to join them in 'counting down' at the old Tawau airport. What really suprise me was, the old Tawau airport now is empty and the only used of it is to watch fireworks on new year eve. hahaha..... !!!

Throughout the whole near year, I was pondering over a few issues here in Tawau. Government here in Tawau did very few things to improve the town. And that's not about it. I realise that, even if the Government did something, the people of Tawau might not like it and they generally 'hate' changes. For example:

Service on Sunday/New year ended and my parents and I were heading to a restaurant to have our lunch. Recently, the Majilis Perbandaran Tawau (MPT) changed one of the road and give no entry to any car in this particular road. But I guess this driver or the citizen of Tawau are not very happy about the chnages the government made. Hence, he tried to change things with his own hand. He tried to access that road without caring the consequences. Everyone who were watching him knows that cars are coming out from his opposite direction. I find it quite amusing and at the same time, questioning his intention. I wonder if he want to kill himself or he want to challenge our authority (trying to be smart). Honestly, for a good 5 minutes, he was so determine and he didn't remove his car a little bit. He blocked all the cars, worsen the traffic and yet, got angry with cars that came out from that particular junction. Giving everyone the 'signal' that it is HIS right of way. I was really confused and actually, everyone was. I still can't make out why he want to do that!!!

Anyway, I do not want to think about it...

I was woke up by this dream in my mind this morning: I entered into this law firm in Tawau and worked happily there. I found myself there and manage to do what I want to do. ... hmm.. and there, I woke up.. wondering if I shouldn't go back to KL but stay in Tawau and change law firm instead. ... !!!! I let the Lord to decide!!! If there is not offer from any law firm in KL, I shall move back to Tawau although I am quite sure that I will get something in KL and I wanted to do something that Tawau cannot give.

It's 2006 and my future seems ... unclear!!!! But... my future lies in the hands of God. So, I shall let God do everything!!!