Silence

Jonathan Tse posted a phrase stated "silence is the the wise move" and I commented that it won't be for someone who is being neglected and forgotten. Well, I guess it all goes back to Eccle. in the bible that there's always best timing for everything, that includes being silence and not being silence. I am a forgotten soul in the family. Everyone loves my brother but no one likes me because to all, I am not thinking like an ordinary person and I am not acting like an ordinary person. I remember Andy and Cindy told me that they can't seems to understand my thinking at all. It's that bad.... well, it probably because of the experiences I have that accumulated over the years that made my thinking to be ... different.

Silence, is at most of the time good... but not all the time. Sometimes, by keeping silence and acting in silence, it will cause things to be fatal. I.e. I wouldn't want to tell a soul if i am killing myself now. Furthermore, I won't tell anyone if I am dying... I won't want to tell anyone if I lonely after knowing that making them to be with me means taking their joy away. Joy, is something I misses a lot... and by taking that away from someone would be devastating... and it's going to be last thing I will do.

So, after much efforts and after being treated by silence, I know I am not wanted and there's no one who is willing to be with me at all. By being with me they won't have joy. And so, I have started to love the silence... just because when I cannot change the things that cannot be changed, the only way is to try learning it and embrace it... love it.

Everyone knows... I rather everyone else to be happy than I am happy... and this principles... and characters are from my dad.... and so, I am ok with no one to be around.... I will be ok.... after all, I am sure all these won't last long...

-Silence-