Attack!!!!???

Remember I was telling you about me getting back to the 'community'.... By the help of a few people. And I finally feel better attending church and ..... Even attended cell group before I left for my holiday at Melbourne. Life has been relatively well......... Except....

I guess Satan is concern and worry and so he decided to take some steps to make sure I don't get back the passion I have for Christ. First attack launched. People has been attacking me non stop since few weeks back. Putting up false accusation on me and trying to use me as a bridge to make a situation worse. Without know what was going on and without any information in hand, I somehow got accused and attacked. 

I couldn't find the reason behind all these except they are at the other side, helping the one who wants to destroy me......

My stand..... I need to pray more. If God is for me, who can goes against me? But at the bright side, may be it is time to get famous and rich!!!! May be I shall just attack back, sue someone .... And to be less Christ like for once? 

I hope they don't go attack my mom now. Otherwise, I will definitely take action. 

- attack - praying -

First experience!

It's this 10 days holiday and I ventured into.  It's my first time travelling to Melbourne.  It's first time that I didn't plan anything for my oversea trip.  It's first time I didn't drive, not taking taxi, no bus kind of trip.  It's first time I went to a western country without having western food the whole trip except once.  It's just shocking how a western country turned to be like a multi Asian country.  It's a nice place, but with all these, it makes me feeling annoyed .... for not having the 'feel' of being in the western country.
First time ever, I bought my own Ukulele.  Played a song within an hour and few songs within the next few days.  It's an interesting musical instrument which I intent to learn more from it and trying to develop a new interest in music again.
First time ever, I have bought myself a business class ticket back from Melbourne to KL (costs 330 AUS $ - trade).  It's not bad. At least I manage to catch some sleeps, had some nice food and not having feet cramp.
First time ever, I brought back 37kg of stuffs (checked in) and 3 hand luggages.  As if I fully utilised the business class entitlement.
It's really a relaxing, and lazy trip with no aim, whatsoever, except playing with Ellie my dear niece and visiting Eric, Anne and Sarah.  First time ever, I have not look for friends and relatives I have in Melbourne.. but just hang around .... without any aim. hahahaha...
Overall, it's relaxing..... but it's good to be home.....
- First Experience! -

Connected again!

I guess it was Bishop John's sharing prior to his sabbatical leave that somehow 'summarised' what I felt when I was down and depressed few years back.  The moment that he mentioned about feeling not enjoying the company of people around, somehow, reminded me about how I was.  I wanted to be left alone.  But somehow, people think I am strange and have problem.  Oh yes, problem it is.... but can't people understand the needs of one of having been left alone? I mean..... sometime, we all do, don't we?

Being connected again didn't started just like that. Some really truly amazing people like Hz has played a big huge part of it to get my 'connected' back to people.... to the real 'me', i.e. being around people all the time, helping people all the time, lending a helping hand any time others need, serving and ministering people arounds me, enjoy fellowship around friends, having friends and relatives and family arounds for meals, etc.  I don't think I would be able to get back to myself if not because of Hz. I might not have been 'out' from the 'disconnected' me now if not because of her.

Pushing myself to church probably is one of the hardest thing to do after the sickness.  I know i need to. My mom will call every sunday evening to ask if I manage to go to church.  Hz will call on Saturday night to make sure I plan to go to church the next day. Danny and Jenny would make sure they put a smile in their face and hug me whenever they saw me in church.  Somehow, after they left, they have left Leane to me. Leane will make sure I go to church and at the same time, I would do the same to 'check' on her.  So yes... somehow that's how it started.... of course VT make sure she will join Sunday service if I am around in KK for church too.  Some people do extra.... to make things 'happen' in me.

I will say, I am 'back' to the 'me', but somehow, I do have some reserves.  I am making sure, I will not be around people who will 'pull me down the drain'... i will make sure I will not be around people that's negative and caused me unhappy.  I will only cling to people who is 'beneficial' to me.  That's the distinction I have between previously and now.  Among the group, I did noticed some 'negative' effect people and immediately, i realised, I draw a line, very clearly...... to avoid being hurt and avoid being 'used' anymore. There are times, most of the time, I will say, NO to things I don't feel comfortable doing.

Life has not been the same anymore.  But one thing for sure is, I am back, being connected with people again, for real!

- Connected again! -