Achievement?

As one of the student of Edinburgh University, I get updates from the Uni almost everyday of what's happening in the Uni.  Last night, just before I went to bed, I saw an email, inviting us to attend the graduation of law students, online.....and i couldn't help, but to switch off my phone and went to bed. This morning, I woke up, i browse through their website and I found the graduation date for Summer graduation in 2016 has been posted.  I then realised, I have done half of my course by now.  It's a crazy semester, but instead of 6 semester, I opts for 5 and I have done 2, leaving 3 more subjects to complete with a dissertation of 10,000 words.  Will I graduate for my LL.M? Hmm.... let's focus to finish off these 2 subjects for now until Christmas time.  I hope I pass these 2 subjects.  Let's not be so ambitious to achieve greater than that.
Just as I am working very hard in my studies, I too, worked very hard in my work..... trying to win all cases, filed all applications in order to help my clients to get what they want.  I have so far, win all the matters and clients have been happy.  There's this particular one which decision was to be delivered in an hour time, which I am more nervous of.  Clients knew that due to the difficult situation and circumstances, I have done my very best to help.  They know the chances is slim, but they are grateful I have fought for them thus far.  This matter has been postponed for ruling since 11/11/2014 for at least 3 times now.  It seems like the Judge is having a very difficult time in deciding and I have been constantly, being asked to be present.  I am not sure if it is a good or bad thing.  If you ask me, I wish justice prevail, and I win the case.  If you are asking me if I am saying the Plaintiff do not have the rights, i will say, No, they do have the rights.  But i wish my clients who is the victim in this case, can be released from their 'suffering' over the past few years.
I was preparing for this final submission after trial during my exam on Intellectual Property Law - Copyrights and its related laws.  I sacrifice all my time including my holiday with a friend who came to visit me for these 2 matters during that few days.  To a point, I suffered a severe gastric for days. It was not a pleasant experiences, and therefore, I hope, whatever I have submitted, will bear fruits.
So, speaking of achievement, I am taking two matters bravely .... due to the uncertainty of the laws, etc. , I am challenging the law of Malaysia with the international laws.  I hope I don't sacrifice my client's interest when I am making an academic stand out on the issue of Trademark infringement.
It seems like, this year, I am not making achievement financially.  But rather, I guess, I am building up my knowledges and experiences.  I know if I lost the matter today, i might bring the matter to the Court of Appeal.  If I win, i know my opponent will bring it up to the Court of Appeal too.
Achievement? It depends on whether we weight it by monetary terms, or not... and to be honest, I feels that I have achieve more this year than the previous years.
- Achievement? -

Trust or love?

Either it is born with or due to some external factors, I always being regarded as one who do not have confidence in myself. Be it in my studies or sports, or music, or leadership, or making decision, etc. I always doubt myself and my ability. In my family, my mother always scolded me stupid when I was small. She always made comparison about me and my brother. I am never her favourite. Worse still, that later caused me to do everything she wishes me to do in the opposite way. My mom never praise me for things I did well. I always got discouraged and gave up on things easily. Not only my mom. My aunts, my grandma...... All did the same to me. I always feel I am not loved.

I am glad I have a dad who loves me that always encourage me. I remember I did very badly in my math in primary four and I know I will get scolding from my mom. But dad always encourage me to believe in my own ability. He even tried to tell me how much I shouldn't care so much about not being able to do well in math and the important to just do my best. Because of my dad, I did well for a few years. 

It's both my brother and my mother who got me to choose to study art class in form 4. My mom only listens to my brother. My mother think I wouldn't be able to cope well in science. I think I will do better in science. Now I am stuck. Anyway, no one believe in my ability except my dad. The moment when I told him I want to do law, he agrees. After stpm, he knew I wouldn't be able to study law with my result, in the local university, he told me to apply straight to study oversea. My academic result was never promising, but he always stand by me and encourage me, telling me I can do it. 

After working so many years, he gave me confidence to move a step forward to take over the firm from Kenneth. 

In gist, no one believes in me, except my dad. When someone called him and told him I am to kill myself, he was in shock. I msg him immediately and he said he knew I wouldn't do that.  Knowing how difficult depression was for me to handle, he called me every night around 830 when I will be feeling the worse, to just talk about things and get me prepare to sleep. All he told me was things like this will be over, sooner or later. It won't last forever. He knew I can get over with it. 

I might not be a brilliant smart person. I might not be as beautiful as others, or as girly as everyone wants me to be. But he never weight me the way others did. 

Confidence on me..... Or loves me? I think he might not have 100% confidence in me, but he does love me 100%.  That, I am very sure. 

-confidence or love? Love...-

Forgotten? Too busy? Less important?

Seriously, if it is not because someone reminded me, I have totally forgotten about having a blog which I used to update periodically, if not regularly. hahaha...  I just realised that my last update was in August this year.  It has been few months since I last updated it.  Guess my time were occupied fully by my 2 subjects.  I have no idea why did I selected 32 months programmes instead of 36 months and that makes me have to take 2 subjects in one of the semester, which I decided to choose it for this semester because starting next semester, i will have to start preparing and doing my dissertation.  Unfortunately, I will have to choose one of the subject this semester, which is never in my plan, Copyrights and its related laws.  I have no knowledge at all about copyrights.  I only deals with trademarks issues all these while and this is therefore, killing, especially when it covers not only the English copyrights law, but also, the Scottish, and the European community.

I am all right with the other subject - Medical ethics and its law.  But when I need to studied two subjects and to cope with my works and my parents, it's suffocating.  More so, with some terrible clients and their mentality (refusal to listens to advise) and so on, it just add on to the 'stress level'.

A friend asked me what caused me to be so stressful recently and when I told her I am studying 2 subjects this semester, she cried out and states that then I am like studying full time.  Seriously, I feel the same.  It's crazy when I was having court trials, a few matters for hearing in the High Court this semester as well.  Not to mention i have new cases which i need to do research and tackle before making any formal filing, etc.  On top of that, I do have a course work due on next Monday and yet, I am only 1/3 done with it.  Just when I was thinking to sort that out last night, my place electricity went off and I ended up went to bed earlier. After next week, my semester's studies should be ended (no more tutorials and discussions which i need to attend daily if not weekly), but I still have 2 assignments to pass up before Christmas, which needs all my time for research and reading.  I do not have high hope that I will get a good marks for these 2 subjects seriously.  All I am praying now is that I manage to pass up all my works before deadlines and to pass the 2 subjects.

It has been a crazy few months.  But having said that, life has gone past pretty fast because of all these busy schedule and agenda.  1 1/2 years more, or rather 3 more semester, and I should then finish my masters course.  The positive of studying this masters course is that, even if I eventually fail the course, I still gained lots of knowledge and updated laws, be it in the UK or EU, but also internationally.  That somehow, helps a lot with my cases especially on intellectual property law (i seriously hate this area of law, but somehow, i have gained some acknowledgement from the previous 2 cases I handled).

Well, life is like a roller coaster.....  I guess starting from next year, I will practising under the name and style of MP Pang & Co. instead of Kenneth Thien & Associates.  Tawau is still the best place to lives.

- Forgotten? -