It was a question I discussed when I was in England. The question of whether it is better if we are known by our family, i.e. someone's daughter, someone's sister or whether be in a family where no one knows us. This quesiton popped up in my mind because I noticed that we all came from a different family backgrounds and that has determined out life journey somehow, whether we like it or not. I personally, do not like to be know as someone's daughter or someone's sister. However, my parents are known to a lot of people at my town because they were teachers and they have teached many people. Everyone knows me because of them. No one knows my name. They only knows me by my face because they will regard me as So and So's daughter. I always feel that being someone's daughter or someone's sister is such a pressure and burden. To me, honestly it is. In addition to that, my town is a smal town and hence, I can never do something 'weird'. I have to be responsible for everything I do. So, I have to watch what I do, what and how I speak, how and what I should wear, etc. etc. I was at many times during my younger days, I almost cannot stand. I hate being at home and I would rather go out with friends, avoiding social functions and so on. So, it was a total relif when I left home. The most freedom I ever had was during my time in England. Not to say I do 'weird' things, but I just feel 'Free'. I guess I miss those feelings every single moment of my life... since the day I left England. In England, people knows me of who I am.... by my name... and that kind of feeling is just so different.
This morning, I walked in the church ... feeling good as although this is a small church, but no one knows me and not only that, I just feel so good to be able to come to church service this morning. As I walked in, I saw someone familiar and he was looking at me and yes... I recognise him, one of the church member back home. Without any delay, I walked to him and shook his hand. The first thing he asked was, "Are you not So and So's daughter?" I have no choice but to say, "Yes I am". Well, ... the feeling is really not very 'sweat'. I hate to be recognised like that. I would rather being recognised as who I am. After the encounter, I left to get myself ready to worship the Lord. As I was standing in front of the stage, this question came across my mind... as to whether it is better to be known as So and So's daughter at this point. That church member, honestly is someone that can give me works and business. I failed to pass him my business card because I felt so bad when he asked me if I am So and So's daughter. I could have continue with telling him that I have my own business now and may be he can consider passing files to me, etc.
As my mind wander into that point... i realise that not only him that I put off my chances to get files. I have really failed to approach people that know me as "So and So's daughter" and "So and So's sister". So, ... is it better to be known as myself or by other means?
- Who Am I? -
