The outsider who might need to move out of her comfort zone

After approximately 20 years of hardship in life and finally being able to settle down in this place and having all that I have now, I can tell you, I am very much satisfied with life and I do not mind to lives like this until I died.  At least, that's what my plan was and I have been doing very well in keeping that status for the past few years.  Stepping out of my comfort zone is not something in mind and the most I can do is probably for a few weeks and that's all.  I always reckoned that God has finally let me have the life I wanted and I can now settle like this until my last day on earth.  

Even if I am thinking about going to the mission field, I probably put my first choice in the top list with no other 2nd choice or 3rd choice because I thought, that's would be a very comfortable zone that I think I can cope with and God will not give me something I am not able to cope with anyway (according to the bible).  So, yes... I am so unwilling to step out of my comfort zone.  

The past 2 months, life has been a bit unpredictable and I started to think about the future and while praying and meditating on His words, there's two passages and wordings that came to mind constantly, i.e. sharing the gospel with the outsider and going out of my comfort zone.  Seriously, it doesn't make sense to me at all.  Not until one day I received an email from a foreign country asking if I am available for a phone interview sometime that week.  I replied, received no answer, but the phone rang one afternoon and I got the phone interview done.  No.  I have yet to hear from them ever since and I always think chances like that will never come to me unless it is God's will. I am, however, happy that I get through the assessment (bloody difficult one) and got myself into that 2nd stage (phone interview).  I am happy because I applied to the same place in the past 3 years many times, and I can never get through that assessment stage or even before that.  So, yes.  It's an achievement, regardless of whether I get the job or not. It would definitely be interesting and exciting if I am given that opportunity, but at the same time, it brings fear.  I told a friend about it and she asked me, between country 1 and country 2 (i applied to both), which would I choose.  I told her, both are out of my comfort zone and she said, she would think so too and she said, I might, however, need to prepare for the 'worse' though because if God wants me to go to those places, I better be ready to move. She reminded me of the passage of being an outsider reaching out to an 'outsider' too, what more totally out of my comfort zone.  

If you ask me, I think I would love to have the job.  But at the same time, I am terrified because I know nothing about the job and nothing about that country or not knowing how to settle down, etc.  But what I am more excited about is that I probably finally be able to reach out to the people God places in my heart for a long time to reach out to, probably in the past 25 years.  I was reminded that both my dad and my uncle did mention this to me before they passed away.  "You go out to evangelise but never forget these places."  I do hope I have that opportunity to serve Him in those places, regardless of my comfortability.  

Having received no news from the recruiter for a while now does make my faith shakes a bit and thinking again, that no one will want to give me that opportunity because I am not good enough for the job they are offering and/or I am not able to contribute much because I don't know much of the laws in those countries.  I don't want to lose that faith, knowing that He can move mountains and seas if that's His will and desire for me.  All I need to say is probably, yes, no matter how difficult it is, I am willing to go for you, Lord. 

At the same time, of course, I have to make sure that I am prepared to step out when He moved the mountain or the sea.  

- The outsider who might need to move out of her comfort zone  - 

Failed Mission?

 A friend called and said she cannot stay back in Malaysia any longer.  She came back 3 months ago and she has to go back to the mission field.  I asked her why, she said there's nothing to do here.  I hope that's not an excuse why she wants to leave Malaysia.  I hope there's really a lot to be done in the mission field and that without her, things won't move on.  Oh wait, is that the case? God needs us to fulfil His plan and works He leads you to begin? Of course not.  God doesn't need us.  We do because we love Him and we wanted to serve Him.  Jesus did what He was asked and fulfilled it because He loves God and also people on earth, that's you and me.  He didn't do it because God needs Him.  

Another friend posted on FB recently and she finally back to her mission field and she happily shared how happy she is to be back, like fish finally being released into the sea/pond.  Oh well, again, it kept me thinking, is it because it is so good to be able to get out from the lockdown and pandemic situation to a place with less restrictions or is it because it is really because of serving God.  I had a conversation with a young full time worker and through her sharing of what she learned in the past few months, if not weeks, I realised, we talked about this issue again, about whether we are working for God or we are serving Him.  I am glad she realised this and even learned this great lesson and keep her focus right, even in her early ministry. What surprised me was that she also told me, missionaries are supposed to go there, train and raise the locals and come back.  That's right.  

A failed mission is like what the US and UK did to Afgan.  20 years of battles in the field, sending so many soldiers over and yet, once they leave, everything is just back to normal.  I looked at the timelines and the events and even pictures, my first thought was, "without a fight?"  Oh well, then it is bound to be taken over.   When we reached out to people and they said they wanted to know more about Christ, we don't just hand them a bible and leave.  We have to teach them how to read, we need to teach them how to interpret, we need to teach them how to be close to God, how to establish that relationship with God, and let them even know how to apply the words of God in their life before we leave.  20 years, if they can't even pick up a gun or know where to find one or how to fight themselves, it's useless.  The mission has failed, completely.  

It is a reminder of how strong the evil stronghold is and how easy it can just take charge of everything if we are not ready to put our feet down and fight back.  There's many time in our lives that we have to make that move instead of just relying on someone to help us with.  Spiritual journey likewise.  This has set as a reminder to me spiritually of how much we need to get ourselves ready and not take things for granted.  Are you ready to fight.  During this pandemic, I saw many people are still in complacent moods.  Some still thinking to earn the whole world and others still trying to gain power and others.  Some even think the future is bright and sunny because they just got married and some just achieved A++ in their A level exam and some just graduated with 1st class degree and some got their first book published and others got their doctoral degree, and they think the world should celebrate because of their success and they are over the moon thinking their life is full of bright future.  But all these will be gone in a minute if God doesn't extend His grace for you.  All these will go and can you hang in to God and still praise Him?  Can you still say, thank you Lord for a bright future? or are you going to now beg God for mercy and grace?  or are you going to ask God, why He is being cruel and let you suffer?  

The truth is, there's nothing that will last forever.  But we need to learn to enjoy His presence and the relationship we have with Him no matter if you see with your naked eyes how bright or gloomy your future is because it doesn't matter.  What matter is, in whatever situation, you know He is right there for you because He loves you.  

When things go really well with you, praise God for letting you have that opportunity to enjoy happiness, success and achievement.  Without Him extending that grace to you, you might not have it.  Don't ever think that all your happiness, success and achievements are the fruits of your own ability and wisdom.  It is not.  When things go less well, and you are suffering, enjoy it because that's the moment you get close to God and trying to know what He was trying to do in your life.  It is these moments that one will get to know God and His heart better, in many ways and that one day when you finally get what you want, you know it is all because God loves you and nothing else.  Suffering will eventually cause people to understand death is nothing because Jesus has redeemed our sins from us.  Suffering and pain eventually made us want God even more and without suffering, God could be just a tool.  Without suffering, people think they do not need God.  So, no matter in which stage you are at, keep in mind that, God loves you and you can come close to Him a little bit more.  Do not lose your focus.  Focus on Him.  Your God, Your sovereign God.  

Do not fail your mission. 

- Failed Mission? - 

Guaranteed future

Since March 2020, I saw people posted a lot of their current situation on social media.  Sadly, most of them are their anger towards the country’s leaders, the political leaders, the governments and some, their bosses. Anger was sparked off because many are worried about their livelihood and their future.  Future that they actually have no guarantee with actually.   Just that because of the pandemic, people finally feeling it closely.  The business bosses are angry that the government leaders implemented lockdown because that’s mean their ‘promising’ future profits has now become unpromising.  Worse still, some of them were greatly affected that they now have to take up loans and borrowings to sustain their businesses and also the livelihood of their family and the family of those who work under them.  The middle-class business owners are not here nor there because, with so much commitment in their hands as their struggle day after day before the pandemic, things got worse as they might as well end it and try to find a job, which might not come by at all.  Employees are less angry with the government and they say, “all depends on what bosses and government is saying” because they are still getting pay, even though some are pay lesser and the government also giving them some incentive now and then.  

For people who have children who are planning to enter their tertiary education, parents are worried now that because of the financial constrain, they are unable to provide the best education to their children.  Those who are not going to tertiary education, their parents are worry now that their children will not get a job that will not expose them to covid19.  It’s been 1 ½ year now and if they have been waiting, they are still waiting now for the next step to come along, safely.   For those who have graduated and graduating from their tertiary education, some are facing the choices of whether to return to Malaysia to work because the situation seems more dangerous and because many businesses are closing, their opportunity to get a job seems slim.  For parents who have put all their investment into their children and wishing that their children will not find a good job and contribute to the family financial burden, the situation now becoming a bit bleak.  

Most people in this country are toss between lockdown and earning opportunity.  Everyone now hopes they can be in a position where they can work, earn and at the same time, shield themselves from being infected with a virus and died.  But then again, the reality is that there’s no guarantee.  

Some people are trying to be smart, even though they are not.  Some non-medical trained people think they are smarter than scientists and doctors and they even believe in social media and all these reports (instead of research papers) and tried on all sorts of measures trying to combat the virus.  Some are even so good (they think they are) that they think the virus is a hoax and they can just don’t do anything about it.  These people are in denial of the difficult and broken world, that they have put so much trust in it, thinking it belongs to them and that they can do everything they want to combat it and win it because they have their rights to.  These people are so brave about their lives, their choices, for their life and their afterlife.  They exercised their rights (Human rights they call them) and they think they are winning over God in this, in controlling the world and life. 

Is there a guarantee and complete control over the world and life in this world? There’s no guarantee anyway, even prior to the pandemic, but people did not see it because people only manage to focus on their own ability, how much they can earn, how much they can do and how much they can plan for their future prior to the pandemic.  The measure was done through own self-measurement and standard.  That’s a human being and that’s why we often hear people commented that “You do not earn enough because you are lacking ability”. 

Since the beginning of this pandemic, people did not realize that the smartest persons are put to do all these important jobs trying to win over covid19.  The smartest scientists, the medical practitioners, etc. but if they are not lacking the ability and intelligence, why are we still not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel yet? Where’s the future that these smartest people can assure us?  Unfortunately, there’s none.  

Is our ability and intelligence that can determine our future? Can we rely just on our own ability and intelligence? Let’s talk about climate changes around the world, which we all realized now, in every corner of the world because it has somehow affected us very much these days, i.e. we need to on the aircon more often than we used it, people in the UK needs to get a fan or an aircon now compare to 20 years ago where we only need a heater, even during summer.  Summer in the US and Australia no longer involves beaches and swimming, but also ready baggage to run away from bush fires.  Bicycle no longer one of the major transport in Europe, but a boat in recent years.   Don’t we have all these scientists and smartest people at the top of the world who know this day will come?  So, why are we still facing the problem today?  

We talked about our worries almost every minute if not seconds, even though we know that it is part of life.  The amount of worries that one get is different from person to person. Some people know things are going to happen and they will take measure to tackle it.  Some people know things are going to happen, they will do something about it, but not wholeheartedly.  Some, just don’t bother at all.  That’s just so human, you say.  That’s right.  It is.  That’s us.  We worry about everything, not just major issues.  But we always forget the major issue and the way to tackle it.  

People forget the core saving in John 3:16 even though this is probably the only bible verse they can recite.  They only focus that God loves us and full stop.  Most people disregarded the fact stated at the end of this verse, that those who do not believe, will perish.  This verse also lied the truth of our guaranteed future and the only way to make our future certain.  It is not how successful you are.  It is not what society position you are at.  It is not how well you did to feed your family.  It is not how much achievement you achieved in life.  It is not how much you respect your parents.  It is not how much you read the Bible. It is not how many people you shared the gospel with.  It is not how much wealth you accumulated.  It is not how much possession you have in this world.  It is not how well you preach.  It is not how well you trained missionaries.  It is not how much time you spend with God.  It is not how much good deed you did to help people during this pandemic. No. It is not.  

There’s only one thing you need to do and that not only your future is guaranteed, but also that your worry will be lifted because that’s the ONLY future you should focus on, that is to believe in His only Son and, you will not perish, but have eternal life.  

John 3:16 NIV

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

For those who do not believe, the future is that they will perish.  Our God loved the world, and our God is also the integrated and just God.  He has given us a choice, which we all need to make it.  

There’s no guaranteed future in this world.  No one can guarantee anything for you.  No one can even guarantee that this pandemic will be over by end of this year.  No one.  But there’s only one guarantee that we know is sure for our future, that believes in Him, and we will not perish but have eternal life.  

To have the ultimate faith in believing Him, we do not dictate how God is to run this world and our lives.  We do not come to Him and tell Him, “come on God, I believe in you, now, do your part and give me a bright future and bless me”.  If I am not wrong, there’s so much provision in the whole Bible that says we can bribe or negotiate with God.  God has given us the privilege to pray to Him and submit our petition to Him and see how things work out, not to bring what we asked for to ourselves, but to bring out an outcome that His name is glorified.  

Too bad, the existence of this world, your existence, the existence of the covid, it is not about you or me.  Yes.  It is not.  It is about God and His glory.  I wonder how long until people realise this.  

During my CLP exam, everyone is praying because there’s only 30% of candidates will pass the exam and I wonder, if everyone is praying, does God allowed all the prayers or how is He going to decide who is going to pass and who is not? I realised afterwards that, it is not about whether you prayed or not or whether you get your prayers answered or not.  Sometimes we do, sometimes we don’t.  It is how you pray and it’s what kind of attitudes you have when you pray that is more important than the outcome.  The situation may or may not be better for you in the next couple of months time.  It doesn’t matter to God.  What matter is, what kind of attitudes you have when you pray and whether what you are praying for will glorify His name.  

The best thing about our eternal future is that the passing rate is 100% guarantee, as long as you believe.  So, don’t believe half-heartedly or a little.  It has to be 100% belief.  If you are doubting at this moment, as long as Jesus has not returned yet, you still have time to find out more about Him and believe in Him. 

My challenge to you today is to focus 100% on Him, prayed with the right attitudes and make His name be glorified. 

- Guaranteed future -