I feel that "I am back" to the normal me after such a long time.... KK has driven me crazy for sure. Ever since I moved to KK, things has never been 'normal'. My first feeling was, "damn, i am being cheated". First, it's my job, my ex-partner definitely wasn't truthful on the real facts of the set up of the firm. I ended up being a monkey in a wilderness. Yes, wilderness because I don't know this place at all. I couldn't find a church that I can attend in the first 5 months. Attended All Saints Cathedral but I didn't feel welcome at all. In this city, I can count with one of my hand the total number of people I know. I was staying in a small unit rented by faith through a friend of mine. Let's not talk about how the unit was the moment i stepped in. I feel like a spider myself.... and with nothing with me to clean the unit, I slept through the night on the floor, alone.
Life has not been good over the past 8 years in KK and I have forgot when did I stop sending out Christmas card to all my oversea friends. Amazingly.... I just remember to do that this year. I am back... reconnected to all my close friends (all oversea) and focusing on to achieve my dream and disconnected with people that detrimental to me.
2013 is ending. I have to be very frank with you that my bank account is not having much saving. I have used 80% of it on air tickets and taxi fares, but my bank account is not empty either. God has been faithful and he has provided for my needs for the past 12 months without me worrying, in fact, we have extra to sort out computers, networking and internet problem in the office. Someone asked me how I survive 2013 since I closed down conveyancing work and I don't do developer's job, etc. I can only says, I have angels walked in who gave me works enough for me to sustain for a few months. God is good. He sent and He provides.
Even though I don't know how I can survive in 2014, but I guess, the only key is ... to trust God.
2013 is not a very prosperous year because we have stopped all conveyancing works. However, I am hoping and praying that God will open another path for me to venture. I am setting 2014-2016 as year of studying. I really hope .... despite the busy schedule in my studies, I do not need to worry so much about finances.
Lord, I cry out to you.... please help me, provide to me and continue to bless me...!
- End of 2013 -
Thursday, December 05, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
Cooking, baking....
It's weird... whenever I feel stressful and pressure at work, all I do is... to cook. Recently, bake. hahaha..... ok. I am glad I finally got myself an oven since February and it's working so well. Love it. I don't know how to lives a life without it. hahaha... Well, look what I have cooked recently ...
... and after i baked some chocolate cookies, I am planning to bake a fruit cake.... I hope it works fine.... so, tonight, on my preparation, I have done this: -
Let's hope everything goes well for tomorrow....
- Cooking, baking... -
... and after i baked some chocolate cookies, I am planning to bake a fruit cake.... I hope it works fine.... so, tonight, on my preparation, I have done this: -
Let's hope everything goes well for tomorrow....
- Cooking, baking... -
Monday, November 25, 2013
Death?
No. I am not going on with 'home' nor England... even though I probably have to pay the country a visit soon and more often in the future. Well, as it is stated in the title above, I am going to talk about death. I cannot remember when was the first time I experienced and came to know about death. Probably it's the death of our dog? I still remember both my brother and I buried it at our garden.. and my brother made a cross for the 'tomb'. Or, may be it's me who keep asking my dad to kill the whatever creatures out in the garden that made noise which disturbed my sleeps? or may be it's my dad who killed the mouse who made its' entry into our house and made me cried? or my dad who tried to killed the lizard which came near me trying to attack me? or may be because I stayed next to a church and I attended funerals more than anybody else. Following my dad and mom to visit the sicks and the death... has been one of the usual event in my life since I was born.
Furthermore, being a very weak person since birth, going in and out of the hospital is nothing uncommon. Seeing people cried when their children passed away just next to me is a norm to me. So, accepting the fact that people will die is nothing so difficult for me. Not that I like the feeling nor me like to ponder over how things like when someone died, etc. But it's a fact no one can escape from.
I thought I would not be able to handle things when my dad had suffered stroke. Oh well, we have been expecting this because of the number of medicine intake for a long period of time by my dad since the age of 20 until now. It's over 50 years.... it consider high risk. But many people has made me feel so 'sick' when they keep asking us why is this happening, etc. etc. etc.
When people died, people keep asking why why why. When someone who is poor and not known to anyone who is sick and died. No one even bother to ask him why and how, etc. When people whom we all know is sick, everyone asked why this thing happen to them.
Why are we asking that stupid questions where it can happen to everyone? I happen to had a long chat with someone who is rich and famous in the airport while our flight was delayed for 2 hours. He is someone close to our family and so, he was telling me his recent readings and ponders are on the issue of death. He says, for the first time, he said he has change his mindset to accept death in a good way.
I didn't want to scares him away by saying, "that's why I always wanted to die earlier and fast". To him, that probably not something he has gone as far to think of. To me, almost everyone who knows me know that's my wish. I remember Jonathan Tse said to me one day if i died, he will surely made a tombstone which says "I am finally here!". hahahaha...
Yes. What are we really when when are on earth? Who are we? only people who are rich and famous gets to be recognised when died? and how about those who were dead and not being remembered because they don't have a family?
My point is, i don't really bother how much impact I made to this world. I don't bother much about how much famous I want to be or how rich. That's not important. When I died, I died. I have nothing too. and the only one whom I care whether He will recognise me or not is Jesus, in the 'forever land'. So, why am I investing and wasting my energy in this world?
Oh well.... I am going to attend a funeral tomorrow. This is about 5th one this year. This time, it's a family friend .... someone who love and care for me since i am a baby.....
So, till then, ... I will see you again. :)
These 2 years, many was shocked with my dad's condition and amazingly, he is still around.... while other had passed away themselves. Hmm.... tell me, if you are reminded that the key to life and death is in God's hand, not ours.
Over the years ever since my dad's stroke, .... I have completely able to recognised who are the true relatives and friends and who are not. I am sorry to say, this is the last year I am going to be the 'good hearted' and 'able to fooled' niece of all of you. Next year onwards, I am making everyone pay their prices for treating me and my mom the way you all did.
- Death? -
Furthermore, being a very weak person since birth, going in and out of the hospital is nothing uncommon. Seeing people cried when their children passed away just next to me is a norm to me. So, accepting the fact that people will die is nothing so difficult for me. Not that I like the feeling nor me like to ponder over how things like when someone died, etc. But it's a fact no one can escape from.
I thought I would not be able to handle things when my dad had suffered stroke. Oh well, we have been expecting this because of the number of medicine intake for a long period of time by my dad since the age of 20 until now. It's over 50 years.... it consider high risk. But many people has made me feel so 'sick' when they keep asking us why is this happening, etc. etc. etc.
When people died, people keep asking why why why. When someone who is poor and not known to anyone who is sick and died. No one even bother to ask him why and how, etc. When people whom we all know is sick, everyone asked why this thing happen to them.
Why are we asking that stupid questions where it can happen to everyone? I happen to had a long chat with someone who is rich and famous in the airport while our flight was delayed for 2 hours. He is someone close to our family and so, he was telling me his recent readings and ponders are on the issue of death. He says, for the first time, he said he has change his mindset to accept death in a good way.
I didn't want to scares him away by saying, "that's why I always wanted to die earlier and fast". To him, that probably not something he has gone as far to think of. To me, almost everyone who knows me know that's my wish. I remember Jonathan Tse said to me one day if i died, he will surely made a tombstone which says "I am finally here!". hahahaha...
Yes. What are we really when when are on earth? Who are we? only people who are rich and famous gets to be recognised when died? and how about those who were dead and not being remembered because they don't have a family?
My point is, i don't really bother how much impact I made to this world. I don't bother much about how much famous I want to be or how rich. That's not important. When I died, I died. I have nothing too. and the only one whom I care whether He will recognise me or not is Jesus, in the 'forever land'. So, why am I investing and wasting my energy in this world?
Oh well.... I am going to attend a funeral tomorrow. This is about 5th one this year. This time, it's a family friend .... someone who love and care for me since i am a baby.....
So, till then, ... I will see you again. :)
These 2 years, many was shocked with my dad's condition and amazingly, he is still around.... while other had passed away themselves. Hmm.... tell me, if you are reminded that the key to life and death is in God's hand, not ours.
Over the years ever since my dad's stroke, .... I have completely able to recognised who are the true relatives and friends and who are not. I am sorry to say, this is the last year I am going to be the 'good hearted' and 'able to fooled' niece of all of you. Next year onwards, I am making everyone pay their prices for treating me and my mom the way you all did.
- Death? -
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