Wasted

Today is the first day of chinese new year for 2013. I am back in Tawau and so as many others.  I had the opportunity to come back earlier and had some gathering with friends too! On one of the discussion, someone mentioned about how much in vain the 3 years we spent in CCL. We recalled those sweat amd blood moments, those efforts we spent and struggled through.... We thought it will bring benefit to the church and people, but what we didn't expect was not only how much they didn't appreciate us and what we did, but had also opposed to us, etc. For the first time I told them what happen after they left and what I suffered after that. If the issues of bishop being sued has not been raised, I guess no one will ever know what these people are.
For 6 years I was with CCL, nothing was not in vain! Church like this, obviously has not been growing and it will only be stumbling block to many.
It is really sad to know their hearts are so hard....
I don't know what's the point of their opposition. Whate the gain? I guess, I will leave it for them to let God know....
- Wasted -

I wonder...

I guess I do have a 'force' kind of thing when I am in Court.  After not being in court for quite some time, I resume to be one of the often visitor of the Courts for the past 1 1/2 years.  From KK, I have also known in Tawau. From trials to trials, cases to cases... I guess, every time when I am in open court, there will be one or two observance or senior lawyers will ask me who I am and from which firm I am from.  The Court interpreter, especially those has been working as interpreter for a long time do know me.  Today, even a new judge in town know who I am.  He has been asking around for counsel's name, except mine.  When I finished my matter and turned around to walk off the court, I get stopped by observance asking me who I am, whether I can give them a name card, etc. 
I am feeling a bit weird. I am never a famous one.  Base on record so far, I have never succeeded in any major cases.  All my cases are just simple matters. 
I guess, my voice, the confidence when I speak do carry weight for all the judgment given by others.  Even the reporters asked me what cases I have today, etc.  Few senior lawyers saw me walk in the Court, asked about me, came and talk to me, etc.  It's just a weird day....
I seriously wonder I it is a good thing or bad thing....
- I wonder... -

Pressures.....

After all the 3 busy months in Court for trials and hearings,  I have been trying to put more efforts and time in the office for the past 1 1/2 months. Seriously, it's not something very pleasant.  Not that office matters are not done in order, but it's also to discovered that my staff was not doing his job at the standard he is required to, has somehow gave me tremendous pressures.  More so,  when it comes to cases and clients which were introduced by a long distance relative, it really gave me hell lots of pressures.  My inexperience in conveyancing matters has complicated the whole situation when the transaction is not of ordinary.  Not many clients understand that their cases are not on 'ordinary' basis.  To them, as long as they didn't receive their money on the 3+1 months time, they will make noise and lots of complains, putting the lawyers at blames.
I usually try to solve whatever problem we in the office faces, but I couldn't help it if I am not being informed at all.  My staff, not knowing how to deal with certain issues, has somehow gave empty promises to the clients, sat on files, delayed matters, etc.  I can't believe I ended up sorting out outstanding matters after the trials and ended with compensating clients for the delay caused, etc.  I have no choice, but to deduct my clerk's salary.  That's just because he has not been informing me all the 'situations' even thought I have strictly warned him so for many times previously.
For cases where the distance relatives introduced, their fees paid did not even enough to cover the compensation we were asked to pay them.
Seriously, the pressures on me from all these 'relatives' matters - conveyancing matters, are not any lighter than facing and conducing trials in the High Court/ Court of Appeal.  I have then decided to only do a conveyancing matter if they make a full payment to the fees and if the matter is straight forward cases (without complication at all).  I do not want to end up stressing out myself or complicated matters and yet, not receiving full payment and the matter cannot be closed for MONTHS/YEARS and I ended up being blamed for.  I had enough of that. Be it you are my uncle or aunty or anyone close..... that's to be applied to you either.
I was worry since last year over if I have offended these few clients and I do not want to take up any cases belong to them anymore will make my business in financial difficulties.  For few days and few weeks, it has stressed me out to find a solution and to find businesses.  Thank God.... God has shown me clearly that as long as we rely on Him, He will provide.  He will take care of all these. I do not have much choice to choose in between.  I need to make sure I am not stressed over things I shouldn't have been.  Health or rather mental health is the ultimate and first priority to be taken care of.  Not money, not helping others.  If I know the matter is going to stress me out terribly, I wouldn't even bother to take it up anymore, even though clients are bagging me for it. 
I remember a senior lawyer's advice, "do it for the money, not any other thing".  I must say, I started to understand completely what she meant. 
What's the pressures these days? Working and handle relatives' matters.  Once all these are done, I am not doing their cases anymore in the future. 
- Pressures... -