What does left meant?

All these while, i was saying... i am being left alone. That simply meants, no one is on my side and no one understand me. This includes, no one ever try to understand me. I was left with no support. Everyone opposed me, on every single word i said. That's what i meant by everyone left me alone.
- what does left meant?-

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Good Samaritan

Today's preaching was about being good samaritan and about loving God and loving people. Today's sermon is preached by bishop john yeo. Sorry to say, i agree totally of the teaching in the bible, but every word the preacher preached, it makes me start judging him. Such a hypocrisy! Speaking of loving God, well.... i am so sure there are so many who is willing to serve God in His church, but the church do set certain rules now governing who can and who cannot serve the Lord. Seriously, i always take the heart and willingness to serve as the primary requirements to serve God, but our church today has become a place where they first pass judgment against people and then, they will see if they will approve you on your 'application'. If you have done wrong once or twice, which means you do not achieve their standard expectation, they will not give you a second chance. There you go, you won't have the chance to servr Him in his church anymore. More so, if you are sick, mentally or physically.... you will be asked to pass your 'duty' to others who is more capable. At least this is what i am being treated now.
In terms of loving people? Well, they will only get along and be with those who are priest, working in the church and those who can financially contributes to the church. I.e., they only love those who can give them tangible support. If you called them for help, i.e., if you really need them to give you mental support, forget about it. They will call you as satan who disturb them in serving their God. They will tell you don't waste time in them, the 20%. They should know how to focus on God themselves. They have better works to do. They won't love you. I have never seem them being with orphans, hugging an orphans or widow, or anyone that's poor. My brother scolded my mom telling her, her rice is too old and not fresh. Asked my mom to cook nice rice for him. Seriously, i have eaten that package of rice with my mom for the past few months and i never complain. By the way, i am the breadwinner for my parents. I can just buy another package, but is that necessary? About loving people, i cannot see this apply by my brother to his parents. I bet my sister in law won't even do the courtesy to bring the grandchildren to visit my parents tomorrow.
For thr past 36 years, i am taught, i apply the teaching of God in my everyday's walk. I love without condition, with lots of hurts and wounds. But i do believe, it is time for others to apply the words of God nd it is time for me to love myself. Yes. I am tired, discouraged and lost focus. Don't just blame that on me though....
- good samaritan-

posted from Bloggeroid

Again?

I just realised i am a very self conscious person. I do check on myself regularly. I admit that i am not always right, but at least i try to learn from mistakes. Hence i always give people second or third chance. Because i know and wish to be given second chance too... especially when i know i was wrong. I hates to hurt others with my words and actions. When i knew i did hurts a few when i started to retaliate, i did check on my emotions and behavious. I knew something is wrong with me. I remember telling dad i wasn't reacting as myself, as if i am controlled by some spirit. I did told him what i did, i told a best friend what i did, etc....and dad told me 'it is me that is wtong'. It is very normal for people to expect a friend telling them she is going to die. Everyone scares.' Dad asked me to continue with seeing docotr and seeking help. Of course, knowing that i will be feeling the worse at night about 7pm to 9pm, he usually call around 8pm to just chat. This happen just about the same time last year.
To be honest, i am glad i seek help and get my sickness treated, even though i have to be very cautious and take control of myself even more these days. Yes, i am still very much needed the medicines because besides the medicines, i don't have anything else to help me to stay alive and healthily at the moment, especially these critical moments. Well, at least, i am in control of myself now. Even though the past 1 year wasn't the case.
Unlike some people i know, whom they do know they need help but refuse to admit that they are sick. Some, they do know they are sick, but they refuse to get treatment. Some, they keep telling others they are healed by God and yet still having problem with their emotions. Some, they lied to others and themselves because of pride. All these people, they lives in their own lies.....they are not only suffering, but they also made others suffer. The most ridiculous thing is, they were telling others how to be witness for God. Goodness, if they cannot even do it themselves... in a family, who are they to tell me that taking medicine is not good? At least i am better than them. Until and unless you acts like a wife, a daughter in law and a mom, whom you should be, i won't respect you of who you are,really.... ! Shame on you!!!
- Again?-

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