Subject to...

Well, subject to the new counsel to file in notice to change of solicitor in court, it's considered that, my case is over. I have passed all relevant documents to the new counsel and ... let's hope, thing goes well. I was trying my best to my client, but obviously.... I have failed.

Hmm.. well, ... let's hope for the best.

- subject to ... -

Trying...

I have been praying since few days ago.... and I pray ever harder last night during prayer meeting until I forgot what I was suppose to translate for the speakers/the leaders... ya, hence, if some of you were in church last night, you would have discovered that i did a very poor job in translating. Well, it started by Pastor M asking us to pray for ourselves and also cast all our burden to the Lord and there and then, I remember, I need that and I started to pray for myself throughout.

I am still praying this morning, in my sleep, after i woke up, while i was making my coffee, while I was drafting a letter of demand for my client, etc. etc... and I am still praying while I am writing this blog now.

I am praying... seriously besides praying, I am trying not to be afraid to face what's going to happen in 30 mins time later ( I am meeting my client and the counsel who is taking the matter over) , but that's what i am TRYING to do.... But I can't seems to fear less ... I am not sure why. If you ask me if I am not trusting God enough? I wouldn't have said that... I think, I just can't wait for this matter to get over. 30 minutes later I probably free from all these, but 30 minutes later, i might not... I don't know. I am just freaking out...

Well... I will update you what happen later when I get back... for now, please pray for me...

- trying ... -

Fear!

I remember there's one time where my dad passed me a book title, Freedom from fear. Yes, I guess he has discovered that, I am timid.. too much that I need to be set free from feeling fearful almost at ALL time... ! That's when I was around 11 years old that I read the book, trying my very best to overcome it and I did, somehow, show boldness in me.... oh well, at least by appearance, I do looks fierce and bold.

But I think I am so easy to be controlled by fear lately... or rather, it might be like what my brother said, it's not fear, it's just lack of confidence. My brother always think I do not have enough of confidence in me. I guess he's right.

I am not sure if it is fear or lack of confidence.. but I do feel worry and fear now... i.e. no peace. Initially, it's my financial status that caused it, but lately, it's my work. I hate when almost ALL of the cases on my table that cannot be 'solved'. I feel shameful and/or shy about going to court and meeting the same judges / Senior Assistant Registrar again... I do not feel confidence of what I want to do. In terms of the Court system, I seriously have lost 90% confidence in them. I am sure they are NOT going to admit to mistakes they made and blame it on me. I am very much worry about that particular of case. I do hope the other law firm is going to take over from me by tomorrow and thereafter, I shall have no dealings with that client and that matter at all. Hmm.. well, fear... worries...........I don't really have a good mood these days.... because of all these..............

Lord, please help me!!!!!

- Fear! -