Christmas always associates with fun, smiles, happiness and gift giving, etc. etc. Ever since I was young, as I was raised by christian parents and was staying in the church compound, I do know, Christmas is all about Jesus. His coming.. to be exact and it's time for us to be reminded of being happy and celebrate as this is the only reason we can be happy about.
Ever since I was young, I was always assigned to take part in drama, singing and any other programmes which the church and/or the inter-church has organised. Oh well, ... when I grew older, I was even given task to organise christmas event.... and so, it has been like this all these years until I came to Kota Kinabalu. hehehe... a place where no one knows me... (love it!) ... and of course also because I always try to escape by going back to Tawau for Christmas! hehe...
Ever since I came back from England, mood about Christmas changed. Somehow... I am still finding for the cause of all these seriously... most probably too many things happen during Christmas season over the years that I finally cannot take it anymore. Hence, I have never have a good Christmas ever since I am back from England. I don't even know what sorts of christmas I wish to have. To be alone? To be with friends? To be with parents? Away from KK? Awasy from Malaysia? Away from home? Feast or not? BBQ? Roast Turkey? Roast Lamb? What exactly will make me have a good and joyous Christmas? The worse part is.... this unhappy feelings will last until new year is over...
So... ya... even though I am going home this Christmas and I can't wait to go home, but to think of it... it will be another lonely and sad christmas. No, not that it's meaningless... just lonely and sad one... I hope!
Hmm...
- mood for Christmas! -
