Merry Christmas!

I know it is too early to greet everyone Merry Christmas ... nevertheless... I guess today is the best time to greet everyone though...

May you all have a blessed and merry Christmas!!!!

- merry christmas -

Dealing...

I was bad dealing with things when it turns bad... guess it's all because of my harsh words... or wait.. may be because I never know how to put a right words on. I have failed once again to put my thought across... from an alleged misunderstanding caused by someone, it has now turned to words that I said... well, I have no explaination on this. I do not want to blame the past, I do not want to make it sounds like I am right... I am infact, wrong... in the beginning. Due to heavy work loads, with operation, with caroling preparation and so on .... I really wished for a long weekend. I was there and ... it blew away already... ! The happiest thing.. of course was that I finally can drive and I have got my freedom.... !!!! None... of course none... what do I expect here.. hahaha.. none will be able to understand how much works I have in hand that keeps my mind not stopping in deriving for a right ways in submission, the filing cause papers, etc... due to the operation I had... goodness... shall I say I regret doing it? No... someone once told me, when I have decided, go for it and never regret it's result, be it a bad result... if it is, swallow it down your throat. Hmm... well, I guess that same goes to the words I spoken and the words other spoken. Everyone said they are hurts by my words... but none... remember what words and actions they put acrossed that hurts me. Well, who cares about Lin Pei San's feeling anyway, right? hahaha... I know CL agree with this...hahahaha....

I always failed to tell others how much damage they caused me before they tells me how much MY words hurts them... I wonder if this is a lesson to learn.... being able to swallow each and every words people hurts me seems like a norm to me now... after I grew up like that... Hai... may be the next time a person hurts me, I will tell them immediately that they hurts my feeling. How's that?

Something to learn.. always!!!! Another weekend to come... and I seriously am thinking of going back home... this feeling of wanting to go home is there for a week plus already... I asked myself if anyone has bullied me recently.... I guess the answer is yes after all!!!

- dealing -

What do you expect this Christmas?

As I was listening to the sermon yesterday morning in church, my mind somehow wander to the the many years of christmas I celebrated. There were christmas I spent in Tawau, with my family, with relatives, with friends, with lots of events, celebration and there are too christmas I spent alone in Kuala Lumpur, there are christmas I spend in England, be it alone, with relatives and/or friends, there are happy christmas, sad one, angry one, frustrated one.... and I wonder therefore, what do I expect on this coming Christmas!

For the previous years, I have spend a few away from home and this year, I somehow decided to spend Christmas in Kota Kinabalu. For the past 2 years, I left Kota Kinabalu for Tawau on either 22nd or 23rd of December and this year, I am only coming back to Kota Kinabalu on 23rd.

Seriously, when the question of "what is my most memorable" christmas posted to me about a month ago, I seriously couldn't recall one very significant event.... Could that be the Christmas I spent in England? Which year? Could that be those I took about 6 months to organised? Could that be those I spent when I was much younger where I was asked to act as Mary and sing in the Choir? I have... spent Christmas for many years, at least 25 years if not 30 years.... and I couldn't somehow recalled a Christmas where I was completely filled with joy.

The reason could be because I know we were celebrating the birth of Jesus and somehow, Christmas related closely and deeply with Easter... where Jesus died for me in the cross... and hmm..... so? are we suppose to be happy?

I wish I can be happy to celebrate the 'festive occassions' with gifts, wishes and greetings... but, more so, I wish I have room for Jesus at this coming Christmas!

A friend commented that there's always terrible disasters at year end... and Christmas is at year end........ there are many out there in the world, do not even know what Christmas is... and they too, do not experience happiness or joy on Christmas! I hope therefore, that this Christmas, my gift to them would be to pray for them...

By the way... I really wish, I can have a joyful christmas this year (for a change) !

- what do you expect this Christmas? -